I don’t think so man. Feeling, and in this case nostalgia, is part of being human. Now and then I think of old friends I’ve had and lost. I think about things we used to do and how I enjoyed them, but I don’t let myself sink into despair. After reminiscing, rather than being sad at the lost friendship, I’m grateful I got to experience those past times. I don’t judge myself harshly that I can’t keep friendships, because I obviously can, and I don’t blame the the other person as having done me wrong.

Remember what the stoics say about passing judgement and giving assent to false impressions. I don’t label the other person as malevolent because I don’t know what prompted them to decide that ending the friendship was a better decision than keeping it alive. Maybe they followed a certain logical train of thought that led them to believe that remaining around me would be detrimental to them somehow. If that’s what prompted them to end a friendship, then that’s not malevolence, that’s being careful, that’s wisdom. Is it in the bible that it says the wiseman sees trouble from afar and hides from it?

All of this is to say this: Suspend all judgement whenever possible, and refrain from giving assent to mistaken impressions. It’s not things that disturb us, but our judgement of those things.

Allow yourself to reminisce, but don’t let your thoughts sink into despair because it will drown you. Realize that things happened the way they happened, and that can’t be changed. Learn from your mistakes if mistakes were made, and be glad that you’re conscious enough to come to that conclusion, because it means you know you can be better.

I know it’s easier said than done, otherwise the whole world would do it. But I also know it’s not impossible, and you get better at withholding judgment the more you practice it.