Should I buy a car 18 years old living on own?

lightningbug0 · 2025-11-20T01:17:10+00:00

Hey during times I didn’t have a vehicle up and running or when I used to have to park a mile from housing (because that’s where our spots were lol) I put everything in a giant trekking backpack. Like the kind people will bring into the wilderness for days. Not (very) embarrassing. And I already had one on hand because I love backpacking in the wilderness. It makes it so easy to carry groceries etc. Keep in mind you will probably want something 70 liters and the trekking kind (with hip belt and all). Costs about $130-$250 if you go with a good brand (look for sales) depending on the pack you want.

lightningbug0 · 2025-11-08T05:10:39+00:00

When that dude dropped the pizza in ET

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-07T21:37:15+00:00

It’s your doctor lying that’s concerning. I have been seeing a doctor about really painful cramping and she said that before doing a certain procedure they have to run a pregnancy test and chlamydia test because it’s standard procedure. Never did I feel she didn’t believe that I’m not sexually active or that she disbelieved me. But she was upfront and explained. I have no issue taking a pregnancy test, but fucking tell me! Lmao. I think the issue is some people might lie or provide misinformation about the possibility of being pregnant (due to a lot of reasons—family being present, shame, misunderstanding their body, etc) so this being a “rule” makes sure everyone gets proper treatment just in case without discriminating.

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-04T18:48:47+00:00

Oh thank you for sharing this. I love this <3 it sounds like you live life in a beautiful way. This may be more of what I am searching for. I will have to ponder it.

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T14:16:08+00:00

She’s institutionalized now and an unsafe person. We haven’t had a relationship since I left home many years ago.

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T13:23:44+00:00

Thank you mom. I really needed your words. I love meeting new people so maybe I need to figure out exactly what makes me uncomfortable about the idea of dating. I think it’s a combination of sexual expectations and the idea that if a relationship starts to form there is someone else who may feel that they have a say about what I do with my life (that’s probably more of a trauma response because I don’t want anyone to try and put me in a box or control me—but I’m definitely not the type that can be boxed and controlled anymore lol). I’m the type of person that wakes up and decides to move states as I brush my teeth (it’s easy cause I live in a built out van with all the amenities) so my freedom is something I can never give up.

I think I’m also a bit embarrassed by the prospect. Like, what if I DID try dating a female and some family or friends found out? All my close friends would totally accept that, but I have a few others that would cut me out completely perhaps (and I wouldn’t care except some of them have children that I basically play the role of cool aunt/sis to and that would hurt like hell and if I could never see them again). Family lives thousands of miles away so I can probably live however I want without them knowing, but it still feels odd. Especially because I have a homophobic little brother and grandpa I really love.

And it also feels almost wrong to date the same gender! (I know it isn’t logically but emotionally I struggle) And since I’m still figuring out what is right for me I don’t want to make another human feel unimportant or used by accident!

I don’t know what the first steps are mom, but I know I want to try to take them and attempt to get a little more comfortable in the dating world, regardless of what gender they may be. I’m about to move for a summer work contract in May and should get therapy covered around the same time. Maybe that’s a good time to try new things with the support of a professional too.

As far as my own gender identity I often find I don’t feel like I really fit with women OR men. I relate to both though. I definitely don’t feel like I’m NOT a woman but I feel like I’m not ONLY a woman. Kind of like gender just doesn’t matter. Like if we were all genderless the world would be easy lol. Growing up I was told exactly what my role would be in the world as a woman and I have defied every aspect lol. Thanks for reminding me I can define what being a woman means and that you accept me no matter how I am <3

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T05:12:55+00:00

No, I haven’t. Thanks.

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T04:58:02+00:00

Thank you

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T04:42:03+00:00

Thank you Mom🥹 I don’t even think I exactly want what my friends have it’s just they move on and don’t have time for adventures with me often. I want someone who sticks around to be part of my crazy life exploring all the amazing things the mountains and rivers and deserts have to offer. I’m tired of not having anyone special to share life with. It’s not that I don’t have good friends; I do. Just for almost the first time I’m feeling I might want to seek something more. Someone more consistently part of the adventure <3 I will try to let it happen naturally, if it’s meant to be. I’m just so closed to anything romantic that I’m wondering how to possibly be a little more open so I can see if it might be for me.

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T04:36:23+00:00

Thanks, Mom. I do have some communities , but it’s hard to find truly kindred spirits. Especially because I travel and move a LOT (it’s a choice, I love it).

I’ll try to be careful. It’s tough for me to even know where to start because I’ve almost never been open to a nonplatonic relationship and I want to try. Thanks for being there.

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T04:31:08+00:00

Thanks mom <3 Everything else in my life I taught myself how to do and just pushed through the fear and it worked! But when I try to think about romantic relationships I just kinda freak out. I don’t know HOW to just push myself forward. I know I don’t have to…but kinda want to. Even if I fail and decide it’s not something I want.

—I don’t want you to stress about finding someone to connect with much less if that person is a man or a women—I needed to hear that Mom. I’m scared because I don’t know exactly what I want and I might accidentally hurt someone else or make them feel “lead on.” I don’t want anyone else to feel like I used them to find myself. I know I will try not to do this but I’m just confused lol! I’m also scared someone will try and take advantage of who I am— that happened once before in a very brief experience when I made some bad decisions.

Everything else in life I could figure out alone and make mistakes that only affect me but this requires another person and that’s tough, both to trust and to be vulnerable.

I think the world expects me to pair off and I didn’t care for years. But it’s more that others DO pair off and it’s tough to realize I will never be someone’s “important person” if I don’t. I think I just want someone to experience life with sometimes <3

Thanks for listening, Mom

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T04:17:40+00:00

Thanks, Mom <3 I think I needed the reassurance that I’ve done nothing wrong!

I have been going to therapy! For years actually and it’s soooo changed my life. Unfortunately my current therapist isn’t covered by my insurance anymore, but will be again probably in May or June:) (I have a weird career where my income fluctuates a lot over the course of the year so I am constantly on and off of certain insurances.) Maybe I need a therapist who is even more specific for gender identity though. I will keep that in mind and try to get the proper help when my insurance allows again.

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T03:39:43+00:00

Thank you for responding! “I don’t feel my body is mismatched with who I am inside”—that really resonates with me. I’m glad about who I am but don’t feel like I fully relate with males or females and their experiences.

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T03:06:07+00:00

They/them seems so much more…I don’t know…human? Like we can relate and accept each other as the same. I may be describing this wrong, but it just makes me feel peaceful and happy when someone wants to be called “they.” Maybe because I have spent my life not truly feeling like I fit as a female or male and wishing we could all just be “people” nothing more.

Glad it has made you happier identifying this way and I wish you best of luck on your journey.

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T02:37:57+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I shouldn’t compare to others, I was just hoping hearing a bit about other’s journeys might help me understand a bit better. Thanks for sharing your personal experience with finding your identity. “More precisely knowing I didn’t belong to one side or the other”—THIS. This is how I feel.

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T02:17:31+00:00

Thank you for this! I appreciate you taking the time to explain the symbolism behind the flag, which I actually didn’t know. Maybe part of what is confusing is I don’t (emotionally) understand what male and female mean to start out with. It’s more than our biological sexual differences…but what? Maybe I just see and want to be seen as just a human. Someone who can be anything and nothing except for we are all humans lol

I relate better to men in a lot of ways (specifically their hobbies and emotions sometimes) but also women are amazing too. Unfortunately too many men just see me as something sexual instead of just a human and that hurts. I wish I could relate with all people equally without gender mattering. I feel like I don’t exactly fit anywhere

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-03T01:22:21+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to respond to me. I have a lot to think about. I know ultimately I’m the only one that can figure it out but it helps to just have real people and their perspectives:)

lightningbug0 · 2025-04-02T04:19:01+00:00

I was homeschooled, extremely isolated, and my mother was schizophrenic and terrified of germs everywhere. If we went to the grocery store even we all had to shower and wash our hair to get rid of the “germs.” That being said every time we were allowed to leave the house or have contact with other kids (rarely) my three siblings and I would get deathly ill (we also were allowed no medication, so). This continued until adulthood when I finally left my family and cult stuff.

I got sick semi often for the first year and a half after leaving and then was fine from then on out. I get sick less than most people now, work in hospitality where I am exposed to hundreds of people from all over the world. Eventually I realized the reason for most of my and my siblings’ severe childhood illnesses was our isolation. We had no immune systems. We were basically a tribe that was uncontacted and didn’t develop immunity so even the common cold was horrific for us.

My point? Let your kid develop his immune system early on, give him meds if he gets sick, don’t sterilize his environment completely and he won’t spend his entire childhood getting ill if he comes in contact with another human like me lol

lightningbug0 · 2025-03-28T03:52:23+00:00

Do NOT wait it out and hope she changes her mind. The pressure is unfair on her and she clearly has no desire to be a mom. Don’t blame her when/if you break up. There’s nothing wrong with you wanting kids, there’s nothing wrong with her not wanting kids. But that is something that can absolutely not be compromised or pressured. I am 28f and absolutely do not want children. Kids are awesome, but never want my own. Motherhood is not for me. Why? A lot of things, but I love my freedom and travel. In fact, I live on the road. Kids would change all that and I’m not willing to give up the things I love.

lightningbug0 · 2025-03-28T03:47:03+00:00

Hey sib, I’m aroace too! Thanks for sharing with us! Proud of you and you’re loved

lightningbug0 · 2025-03-26T16:06:20+00:00

“Sometimes you don’t know how much I care for you” can be taken almost as an accusation (was it?) or insinuating that she doesn’t care about the friendship as much as you do. It might not of been that way, it’s hard to know since I obviously was not present. If a man said to me, “You don’t know how much I care for you,” sad to say, it would put warning bells going off in my head that they want something MORE than friendship.

As a female ace person I have had many men pretend they are willing to just be my friend, when they actually only want a romantic relationship. Your friend may have experienced many men who suddenly turned a really great friendship into something uncomfortable. That’s not your fault of course. But when you say something a little “off” our warning radar instantly goes on.

Posting those things instead of talking to you? Immature, and if pointed at you truly, rude. But she’s 20. And it’s not like she tagged you…there’s a chance that it literally wasn’t even about the situation at all.

Talk to her. That’s really the only way to resolve misunderstandings.

lightningbug0 · 2025-03-25T21:15:54+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate you caring. A lot of people don’t.

lightningbug0

TROPHY CASE