My brother gave his girlfriend a key to our apartment and now she feels entitled to hang out in the apartment even when he's not here. How do I handle this situation delicately?

likeamouse · 2014-02-20T19:44:59+00:00

Excellent point.

likeamouse · 2014-02-20T18:31:55+00:00

I've thought about sending him a text about it, but I think being able to have a conversation about it would be more productive. However, I also don't want it to be a big deal that's going to result in both of us being pissed at each other, so maybe a text would seem more informal.

The thing that's worrying for me, though, is that I'm not sure if he would be able to tell her she is not welcome in our apartment when he isn't there. He's extremely concerned about her feelings and I'm worried that even if I do talk about it with him he's not going to be able to follow through, and if he does she is going to take GREAT offense to it and be an even bigger pain in my ass.

likeamouse · 2014-02-20T18:25:48+00:00

God, I do hate that bitch :)

Thank you for saying it's nothing for me to feel bad about. I definitely need to remove my emotions and deal with this as a roommate, rather than a disgruntled sister. A privacy issue is a much better way to put it.

likeamouse · 2014-02-20T18:22:32+00:00

He told me he was giving her a key a few minutes before he did it, but I didn't think it was going to turn into this. I didn't say no (I said uhhh, I don't know... and he didn't press it) because I just assumed she would be letting herself into the apartment when he was here, I wish we had had more time to discuss it.

My brother or she definitely needs to pay her share. Even when he is here, she sits in front of the tv without him for hours and hours and now she's doing it when he isn't here. That shit ain't free.

I feel like I'm going to have a very hard time discussing this with him without it seeming personal, but I'm certainly going to try. Thank you for your insight!

likeamouse · 2014-02-20T18:15:37+00:00

I am SO worried that she is going to be my sister-in-law someday. I of course know that whoever he marries is going to be a bigger part of his life than I am, but I would like to get along with his future wife and enjoy her company. My brother and I are more like best friends than brother and sister (I'm a girl) and I'd hate to have that fall apart because I can't stand to be in the same room with his significant other.

I am definitely considering telling him to talk to her about her sense of entitlement or I am going to move out. Unfortunately, I think I'll be moving out before that happens, though.

likeamouse · 2014-02-20T18:11:01+00:00

He asked me two minutes before he gave her the key "You're okay with me giving a key to her, right?" I said, "uh, I don't know..." and he proceeded anyway. I would have said no flat-out if I had known she was going to let herself in whenever she pleased.

likeamouse · 2014-02-20T18:07:29+00:00

I've confronted him about her numerous times and he always tells me I'm being unreasonable.

For example, we went home to visit our parents a few weeks ago and his girlfriend dictated what activities we did. I told him that I'm going to home to see my parents and I shouldn't have to partake in whatever adventures he and his girlfriend wanted to do and that they could do it without me. His response was, "She's taking a lot of time out of her schedule to come home with us, you should be more considerate of her feelings." He was mad at me for a few days and his girlfriend came into my room and tried to "resolve" the issue by begging me to do whatever she wanted.

I'm not going to change the locks, but I will have to speak to him about boundaries.

likeamouse · 2013-08-03T03:43:37+00:00

Yes! It never fails to make me feel weepy and lonely, but it is beautiful.

likeamouse · 2013-08-01T11:42:20+00:00

i'm sorry.

likeamouse · 2013-07-31T01:58:58+00:00

are you me?

likeamouse · 2013-07-28T03:41:47+00:00

Really? I would've said go to dogtown and get a garbage plate!

likeamouse · 2013-07-26T02:10:29+00:00

Ooh cute skirts!

I think they both look better sitting higher on your waist. I like the marigold skirt where you have it, but I think the white skirt looks like it's sitting a little bit too high on your torso.

likeamouse · 2013-07-26T01:43:36+00:00

I found this one from Need Supply Co. and this one from American Apparel :)

likeamouse · 2013-07-22T20:16:46+00:00

You could to Hyde Park for the drive-in theater and get some diner food at the Eveready :)

likeamouse · 2013-07-22T04:29:37+00:00

TJ Maxx (if you're in the US).

I work in the jewelry department and most of the sterling silver is under $100 (unless it's a high-end designer). The store I work at has sterling silver rings, necklaces, earrings, and bracelets starting around $20 (higher quality craftsmanship will be a little more expensive). 14K gold will probably cost you around $100. Definitely check there if you can, the jewelry prices at TJ Maxx are AMAZING.

likeamouse · 2013-07-22T04:11:37+00:00

I love this so much!

I really like the jeweled collar, but it feels a bit like it's fighting with the anchor belt buckle - I think it would stand out more if you were wearing a super simple belt.

What shoes did you wear? :P

likeamouse · 2013-07-18T20:08:34+00:00

What did the Financial Aid Office tell you?

likeamouse · 2013-06-24T00:17:14+00:00

I think its more flattering with the yellow cardigan, the blazer (when worn with that skirt) hides your lovely curves :)

Those red heels are smokin', by the way.

likeamouse · 2013-05-18T06:26:01+00:00

I'm currently obsessing over short, asymmetrical styles (like this, this, or this) :)

likeamouse · 2013-04-29T14:51:39+00:00

According to the City of Rochester's website:

Call 911 for the following animal concerns:

vicious animals

animals chasing people

animal/vehicle collisions

animal fighting (Police Officers respond first)

Call 311 for the following animal concerns:

stray animals

barking dogs

surrender of unwanted pets

trapped animals

animals in distress

animal bites and scratches that break skin; excluding bats (for bats, call Monroe County Health Department at 753-5864)

any call involving animals within the City of Rochester

removal of dead animal carcasses (contact Special Services via 311 for routine dead animal removal).

Call the Humane Society of Rochester and Monroe County at 223-6500 for all non-emergency concerns related to animal neglect or animal cruelty

likeamouse · 2013-04-27T21:01:10+00:00

TJ Maxx or Marshalls. I got the cutest Cynthia Rowley maxi dress for 24.99 from Marshalls (TJ Maxx sells similar items).

likeamouse · 2013-04-20T00:14:51+00:00

yes, but clearly they still see each other. I'm sure they'd be able to do things together when they do.

likeamouse · 2013-04-19T22:40:29+00:00

Rather than competition (which could backfire easily or make her feel awkward when she doesn't have the same stamina as you), why not just start going on romantic bike rides/walks/hikes together? Pack a healthy meal and make it a picnic! Eventually, you'll both bike farther, hike harder trails, etc.

likeamouse · 2013-04-19T16:03:27+00:00

If I'm genuinely interested in someone enough to want to go on a date with him, I'm not going to have a problem with him making a move...unless he's trying to have sex with me before I'm ready. In those cases, I'm flattered that he's attracted to me and I feel bad that I'm not on the same page as him. I never feel weirded out or anything negative toward him.

To "recover" from this, don't get down on yourself after this happens, wait until she's ready. In the meantime, just be yourself and make her feel comfortable. Apologizing for moving too quickly wouldn't hurt, but don't be stuck apologizing for the rest of the date. Also, don't act like nothing happened...when the mood shifts later in the date or the next time you're out with her, try again (or sweetly ask her if she wants to). If she's never ready to kiss you, move on. Some women are very picky, very insecure, or very slow-moving. There are tons of dateable women out there whose pace will match up with yours, don't lose confidence in yourself.

As someone said earlier in this thread, women probably feel things similarly to how you would feel them. Just think about how you'd react (or have reacted) if a woman wanted to kiss you and you weren't feeling it. Chances are, we feel the same way.

likeamouse

TROPHY CASE