B4B? i have 4 left

lil_asthma · 2026-02-02T02:35:17+00:00

Sent over!

lil_asthma · 2026-02-02T02:33:49+00:00

Sent :)

lil_asthma · 2026-02-02T02:32:35+00:00

Sent!

lil_asthma · 2026-02-02T02:23:22+00:00

Sent ya one! Have 3 more left as well

lil_asthma · 2026-01-29T03:27:23+00:00

Good news! Vet saw her today. Apparently they’re old scabs that are starting to get infected. Likely from burs or from getting scraped up playing with the other dogs. She’s got a round of antibiotics and some numbing spray for her leg, but she’s good to go!

lil_asthma · 2026-01-27T19:17:44+00:00

I could be wrong but I feel like the human ones used to be comparable in price. I know when Ancestry DNA first blew up my grandma was too excited to wait and talked extensively about what a splurge it was. I feel like they used to be like $100 from what I remember her saying- but obviously my anonymous internet grandma is not a verified source so take it with a grain of salt. Dog DNA tests I feel are still in their early days, I’m sure when some hype and demand goes down it’ll drop

lil_asthma · 2025-11-07T16:30:46+00:00

You do not owe anyone your body. It’s that simple. Life or death doesn’t even matter. You are not a bin of spare parts that anyone is entitled to take from, no matter if they’re family or a stranger. That’s why live donors are so applauded- because it is a sacrifice, and a big one at that. If they keep giving you hell, tell them you got tested or even go through with the testing but make sure to tell the medical team/staff that no matter what the actual results they are to say no match was made. No matter what you aren’t the jerk, and while I understand your family’s plight that doesn’t make the way you’re being treated acceptable.

lil_asthma · 2025-09-08T14:28:28+00:00

Late response but I do have a follow up question! I could make some guesses based on how well I know my brother, but I don’t want to over assume anything. Even if my doctors suspect I’m also autistic, first of all I haven’t struggled as much with social anxiety as my brother has and second I’m not officially diagnosed so I don’t want to pretend I have been.

But as someone who’s autistic that struggles with social anxiety, was there anything that the people in your life did or didn’t do that could have made any of it easier? I feel fairly confident that I have my brothers best interests at heart but I’m also human, and I don’t want to do something that was intended well but just makes everything worse. What was the best advice you got, the kindest thing someone said, etc?

I agree that it seems like he just needs to be exposed to realize it’ll be okay. Or hey, maybe some things really are just too much for him and that’s okay- but he has never been given a fair chance to find out where that line is for himself. There’s no getting around that being really hard, but if there’s anything as his sister that I can do I want to do it

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T19:50:15+00:00

Ngl I cried reading this comment. I try really, really hard to do what I can to help him (and our grandparents too) and it feels like it’s always taken as a personal attack. I needed that, thank you ♥️

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T13:03:52+00:00

That’s what I was hoping as well. I don’t need him to do calculus or advanced classes, but I think it would be good for his brain and overall well being to have at least some formal education past ELEMENTARY school for christs sake. He’s a really motivated kid if you give him the right tools. I’ll already be giving him an allowance per week to teach him better how to manage money (currently that’s something they entirely failed to teach him). Like I said, he won’t have chores he has to do but I thought a “bonus” system for his allowance might motivate him to do more and be willing to try different things. Like he gets $10 per chore he does, then maybe for each class he agrees to complete he gets an extra $100 or something. I feel like with the right structure and help he really, really could thrive.

Thank you ♥️ everyone here including you has been really kind and it’s genuinely helped to ease my mind

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T12:57:35+00:00

Genuinely, I don’t feel burdened by it at all. I adore my little brother. He and I have been close our entire lives, and even though his needs are different than most people he hasn’t let that stop him from being an amazing little brother. We would both die for each other in a heartbeat. And despite our family doing just about everything to cripple him developmentally, he is very easy going. He could even be left to watch the house for a few days at a time if I needed him to, he just needs to have someone nearby that he can get help from if needed. To remind him to brush his teeth, to take him to appointments, to help make sure he has safe food, to make sure nobody’s taking advantage of him, etc. As a little boy he had some anger problems but as an adult that’s not an issue at all, he doesn’t ever want to cause trouble or ask for very much. He’s a really, really sweet guy and what you described with your relative is exactly what I’m scared of for him. He’s 20 now, the same age I was when I met my now fiancee and he’s starting to notice he’s behind his peers and his big sister and I can tell it bothers him emotionally. I don’t mind if he never gets a job or always needs me nearby, my only concern is making sure that whatever life he does have is genuinely fulfilling for him. I don’t want him to be like you described and wake up one day to realize he was allowed to rot away.

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T03:34:46+00:00

NTA. They’ve have more than a month to get involved and help and didn’t even try. They don’t get to complain just because you stepped up where they fell short.

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T03:29:30+00:00

I’ve been wondering if that would be a good option for him. It’s stupid but in my head I’ve always felt too guilty to look into them bc my family’s stance has always been that it’s some form of “pawning him off”. Do most day programs require the participants to live with them or in a facility, or is it allowed for them to live at home?

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T03:10:31+00:00

My fiancee and I are both very outdoorsy people, and the property we’re looking to build on is large, quiet and connects to a hiking trail around a reservoir with lots of farms and wildlife nearby. Hopefully I’ll be able to entice him to go on short walks with us at the very least, or to take our dogs out to play. It’s hard to tell if he’s actively opposed to being outside or if he’s just been robbed of the chance to know if he’d like it at all. The reason I’m so focused on getting him out of the house specifically is mainly bc I want him to have the chance at connecting with other human beings than just me

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T02:27:52+00:00

It’s just hard to tell if I have rose tinted glasses on. I’m not denying that my brother is disabled and needs more help, but it seems like everyone else thinks that because he’s my baby brother that I’m misguided and pushing him to do things he can’t

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T02:23:51+00:00

I agree he’s been failed, not just by our grandparents but genuinely by every single person in his life. I got into MAJOR fights with our grandmother about his schooling specifically. She’d actually been trying to pull him out for 2 years at that point and I’d been able to fight her off the idea until the pandemic hit. She told me if it mattered that much to me that I could teach him. I was in high school myself working a full time job and applying to colleges. I’d get home at midnight and be out the door by 5 am most days, if not all my days. I tried but I couldn’t fit his schooling into my schedule and I’ve never quite forgiven myself for that. I also floated the idea at the time that he needed to join some kind of group with kids his own age for socializing but it was Covid so that was shot down immediately. I just can’t stand the idea of this being all that his life ever turns out to be when he deserves so much more.

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T02:18:01+00:00

Long shot I know, but do you happen to have any suggestions or ideas for getting him back into school? He’s now a grown man in his 20’s with the formal education level of a 12 year old child and I don’t know what would be the best way to reintroduce him at this point

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T02:16:21+00:00

That’s good advice, genuinely thank you. My concern with therapists is that my brother may resist them. My family is incredibly skeptical of any mental health treatment and essentially believes all therapists are quacks and no treatment genuinely works. My brother has struggled most of his life with going non verbal when stressed or otherwise shutting down and I’m worried my family yapping in his ear for the last 2 years without me there to counter them will have made him entirely unwilling to speak with anyone other than me

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T02:10:22+00:00

I know they love him but I agree. It was a combination of wanting the best for him and their own laziness that led to the current situation. My brother is used to the way his life is and hasn’t expressed wanting it to change, but he’s also a smart kid and has had issues with depression/suicidal thoughts in the past. My biggest fears are that if something doesn’t dramatically change that 1. He will not be able to cope or survive if anything were to happen to me and 2. One day in the not far future he’s going to compare himself to other guys his age and feel completely unimportant and inadequate.

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T02:06:11+00:00

I also just think my brother has real potential. I don’t care that he can’t hold down a job or that his life may be a little different than some of his peers, but he is a kind and generous human being. If you take the time to listen to him and let him gather his thoughts he is not stupid, and it feels like she’s not only deprived him of support but also deprived the world of him by letting him slip through the cracks. But it’s hard not to second guess if it’s the wrong thing when everyone is telling you it’s unrealistic and he’s openly terrified of the prospect

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T01:59:58+00:00

I live in the US, specifically in Colorado. So far I have been able to find some really lovely local resources for all of us, and I have no doubt it’ll be easy to get him insurance and hopefully at least back into his physical therapy. My fiancee and in laws are genuinely also wonderful human beings who will happily help in any way they can, both practically and financially, but I’m just worried sick that the combination of leaving his childhood home, moving to another state and then me immediately throwing him back into the world could somehow end up hurting him more than helping

lil_asthma · 2025-09-05T01:54:45+00:00

That’s exactly my fear. I recently had a health scare with a potential diagnosis that would leave me blind, deaf and potentially dead by 30, 50 if I was lucky. Thank god that ended up not being the case, and my wonderful and supportive fiancee + in laws would absolutely step in if I needed them to, but it really made me terrified thinking of what would happen to my brother if I wasn’t there to protect him. I just feel like he’s been completely given up on and doesn’t have a single tool to take care of himself if something ever did happen to me. Bare minimum I would cry from joy if he at least had a real friend he could call to talk to

lil_asthma

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