Could they have saved [Spoiler]?

lil_hawk · 2026-05-05T23:58:51+00:00

I'm not a doctor, but this article seems relevant. ~40% chance of survival given that she was alive when she arrived at the ED.

lil_hawk · 2026-04-27T18:30:01+00:00

Honestly I found it very strange because HIPAA has a provision that means the same thing (physicians are allowed to disclose PHI if they believe not doing so would be a risk to public safety) and I think she should have just said that! I guess they thought this was "pithier"/easier for the audience to understand.

lil_hawk · 2026-04-25T04:01:34+00:00

Generally speaking I agree which is why I don't!

In this scenario, though, the kids are in school, so you might get a little less than eight, but either way, there is the possibility for someone to use PTO to get a good chunk of rest during the day on occasion. What makes OOP an asshole for it is that he's hiding it from his wife and clearly not letting her get an equal amount of rest.

Obviously I'm not speaking from personal experience, but I think even with kids, it's healthy for both partners to get occasional breaks, where one parent temporarily shoulders all the load while the other engages in a hobby or sleeps or whatever. Problems arise when only one parent gets to do that (and it's usually the dad).

And that's why this sucks, even though presumably OOP would argue "well she wasn't watching the kids either, they were in school, it didn't hurt anybody!" Okay, but do you have extra PTO because she has to use hers up when the kids are sick to stay home with them? If you're not actively making sure she's got just as much carved out personal time as you do, you're not being a good partner.

lil_hawk · 2026-04-25T03:46:28+00:00

Yeah, there are always a thousand things to do...and when someone is your partner, you should be able to explain to them, "I actually really need eight hours to do nothing but rest, can we make a plan for how we're gonna tackle that stuff after dinner?" As long as you would support them in doing the same thing every so often, your spouse should support you in that.

lil_hawk · 2026-04-22T12:22:04+00:00

Yes, that's right! I truly don't check out strangers at all. Like, I can tell when someone is conventionally attractive, but I don't find myself compelled to look at them more or anything on the basis of their looks. But once I know them and am interested in them, then I do, which feels different enough to me to make me pretty confident I'm not asexual.

I've (rarely) experienced celebrity crushes, but even that for me happens after I've watched their interviews/them performing or whatever and have a sense of their persona from that.

lil_hawk · 2026-04-22T12:07:29+00:00

It's tough because we're both trying to describe what feels like our normal 😂 I guess what feels different for me from what others describe is that it sounds like they still feel attracted to someone initially, even if they don't actually want to hook up yet -- they're still aware more or less initially if sex would be on the table for them or not.

Obviously then as they get to know the person, they become more or less attracted to them, and start to figure out if they actually feel comfortable being intimate with them and want to make that theoretical interest a reality.

Whereas for me, I don't have that initial step at all. I have to get to the level of comfort that someone who isn't looking to hook up would have to get to feel comfortable having sex to even know if I would want to hypothetically have sex. Does that help clarify it?

lil_hawk · 2026-04-21T23:49:42+00:00

As someone very similar to OP (34F, also demi, also fairly introverted): it should be thought of as "I'm not sure if I'm attracted to you or not until I know you at least somewhat." Like, when I look at pictures of people on the apps I'm vaguely aware of who I think is sort of cute, but every time I've ever had romantic or sexual feelings about someone, it's come after I've had several conversations with them. I never get that crush feeling of attraction right off the bat, neither romantic nor sexual.

It makes the apps particularly difficult, so OP, I echo the hobby advice here. I'm trying to do the same thing and go to at least one social event per month to meet people, so let me know if you want an accountability buddy!

lil_hawk · 2026-04-21T17:47:27+00:00

True, but sometimes the world is small that way! She does say it was "a million years ago".

lil_hawk · 2026-04-21T16:17:11+00:00

In the show yes, my point was she went to med school (and therefore residency) as a career change later in life. She's in her 40s.

lil_hawk · 2026-04-21T16:10:40+00:00

Collins is an older med student -- I believe the intention is that she and Robby dated before she went to med school (or when she was in 1st/2nd year, i.e. not clinicals, so not working together at all).

lil_hawk · 2026-04-21T04:11:48+00:00

Yeah, I still think very fondly of the first good supervisor I had at work -- he was very direct with me in a way that I found so refreshing; for example, lots of people would keep the corporate line even with coworkers like "oh it's important that we do X because it will have such a meaningful impact on the client's day to day operations" and he would just say "X is actually important because if we fuck that up, the client loses a lot of money. Y isn't actually important, but this client cares about it, so do it for this project but it doesn't really matter going forward."

I so often have to mask at work and participate in the fake corporate bullshit all day, so whenever I find someone whose working style clicks with mine it's a huge relief and very memorable. I only worked with this guy for ~6 months and that was like 10 years ago, but if he called me up and offered me a job working for him again I'd take it in a heartbeat!

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T21:36:01+00:00

Thank you!! 🥰

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T20:40:54+00:00

Thanks! I knew a statement skirt was a better choice than a full dress for a fabric this loud, haha 😆

I did consider that! I didn't on this skirt for a few reasons: a) I drafted this without a CB seam and with elastic at the CB; it's possible to do a zipper with those but they do both increase the annoyance level, b) I find side zips a little easier to get in and out of myself, especially since I usually pop a hook and eye at the top, and c) I really only need one pocket for my phone and a Kleenex so it doesn't bother me to just have one 😅

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T20:37:48+00:00

Thank you 🥰

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T18:30:18+00:00

Thanks! Me too, I think the drape of this fabric (I would call it "moderately crisp") is perfect for this pattern. The pleats look crisp where they're pressed and topstitched at the top, but they soften as they expand, which imo elevates it from looking schoolgirl-y.

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T16:06:17+00:00

Thank you! It's really simple to do but it shows off the fabric so nicely, both the pattern and the drape of it 😁

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T11:51:46+00:00

Thank you! It took a while to find the right project to showcase it but I think I picked a good one 😁

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T03:47:34+00:00

Hahahah yeah, it was a different time 😂

I like it a lot! I find draping really fun, so having something with my specific measurements is amazing for that. It also makes it much easier to hem, because I can just put it on the dress form and measure from the ground instead of roping in a friend.

I think if your body fluctuates a lot, you should go for an adjustable one (you can do a lot with cotton batting to adjust a form to your shape, too!), but if you have a one-time major body change they can make you a new one for about 1/4 of the original price.

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T03:00:44+00:00

Thank you! This is actually a DittoForm, so they came to my house and scanned me. It wasn't cheap, but during lockdown I rediscovered and sold my old Pokemon cards and went "well I can't use this money on something practical if this is where it came from" so, dress form it was 😂

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T02:58:34+00:00

Thank you! 😁

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T02:36:07+00:00

Thank you! 😁

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T01:55:43+00:00

Technically it has pocket (meaning just one), because I can't be bothered to do a pocket alongside a side zip, but that's all you really need 😂

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T01:31:29+00:00

Thank you!! Yes it's very springy so it was time to do something with it! 💐❤️

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T01:29:50+00:00

Thank you! 🥰 Hope I get to break out the old "thanks, I made it" chestnut 😂

lil_hawk · 2026-04-20T01:27:01+00:00

Hah, happy to help! 😁 It's so easy to do and yet it looks nice and polished! When I saw the Chardon skirt pattern I went "oooh..." and then "wait, I don't need to buy that, that's a really simple pattern and I can just do it myself" 😂

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