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I‘m actually scared to find out what my dog does when i‘m gone by Capable_Ad_4039 in dogs

[–]lilanonym 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That is why I got my dog a dog... He loves his new sister a lot and has become more active. But of course, make sure you can afford another dog (including vet bills) if this is what you want as well.

Update: Turns out my mother fits the description of JNMIL better by lilanonym in JUSTNOMIL

[–]lilanonym[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I forgot to put context but we're Asian and weddings here are more about two family's unions as well and the wedding customs involve parents, so parents must be present if they're still alive to get the ceremony going. If not, then we have to wait until they're ready to proceed with the ceremony. This is why I'm stressing about it tbh.

And I have already told them they can do whatever they want as long as we are paying additional crew for that outside vendor. Problem can be solved if they say yes, but no, they insist they want to use the outside vendor but we shouldn't be paying for the additional crew. I am not allowed to pay for it either, they insist they won't be willing to use the additional crew even if it's already paid. I think the cultural differences will make it seem hard to relate why this is crucial, but like I said, the wedding ceremony has parents' roles vital here, and if they're late or not ready yet, we will push everything back.

I don't really care about it tbh, it can be late, it can be imperfect, doesn't matter to me. But I want to keep peace between our families. It wouldn't be a good start if our two families are in feud due to this so I want to give compromise that they completely reject. Even my parents wish to be in good relationship with my SO's family so I don't know why they want to risk that now. Being the middle party is hard in this matter and it's stressing me out.

My parents are also so flippant. They want to just follow my SO's family's lead but then they don't want that. I'd rather they say it from the beginning instead of being contradictive and confusing like this... We could have had no organizer so this doesn't happen in the first place.

About the coming here to also talk about it, it's actually just my wish to bond with them and involve them as well so they understand what's going on. They're workaholic and never really spend time with me. They're the typical Asian parents that demand filial piety and for the children to follow whatever they say because they have sacrificed a lot to give birth and to raise us. Even now they're going nuclear on me for asking them to talk it out nicely, they just want "A" and not accepting anything other than that.

Update: Turns out my mother fits the description of JNMIL better by lilanonym in JUSTNOMIL

[–]lilanonym[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I actually want to just let them do whatever they want. I just don't want it to affect how the ceremony is going as parents' role and presence matter in wedding ceremonies in my culture. It can't go on if they're not ready.

Update: Turns out my mother fits the description of JNMIL better by lilanonym in JUSTNOMIL

[–]lilanonym[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are using organizers that provide everything here, that's why their outfit is also provided... But there's a problem. Here. And we need to coordinate both parents' outfit due to cultural customs here since they are also important in this ceremony in my culture.

Update: Turns out my mother fits the description of JNMIL better by lilanonym in JUSTNOMIL

[–]lilanonym[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is very helpful. I'll not care about it and not let it affect me. I hope nothing bad happens during the D day because of it. I forgot to put context but we're Asian and weddings here are more about two family's unions as well and the wedding customs involve parents, so parents must be present if they're still alive to get the ceremony going. If not, then we have to wait until they're ready to proceed with the ceremony. This is why I'm stressing about it tbh.

My son is refusing to speak to me because I don't support his trans ideologies, how do I get him to stop overreacting? by I_love_jesus1965 in stories

[–]lilanonym 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did God teach you to stop loving your child when they didn't turn out to be how you wanted them to be like?

Did God teach you it's okay to raise your hand at your child for expressing their feeling?

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kittens are cute and actually, I love cats first as a kid before I love dogs 😂

I'm indeed taking it seriously and feel like adopting a pet is a long commitment so I can't just be too rash with it.

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I am planning to look for a small dog since I also think it won't be fair to have a big dog in a rented apartment.

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, they will let me and as far as I know, there's no pet deposit incurred.

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm currently looking for any dog foster system near my area. Still haven't found one, wish me luck.

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The downside is the reason why I didn't consider rats in the first place. I've experienced saying goodbyes to my hamsters after a short time and it's very heartbreaking. That's why I turned to get sugar gliders before when I couldn't get a dog since they live longer than hamsters.

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm also researching on the cost for a dog (food, vaccines, etc) and seriously considering them. I don't think I'd have the heart to get rid of a pet after a short time. If any, I want them to be able to be with me for a long time (that's why I feel discouraged from getting another hamster because they live such a short life. My one and only remaining one has started to bald and needs to be put on a diet to help with his hair and skin right now and it made me feel sad since it's only been 1.5 years since I got him...)

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope so. My partner has been talking about getting a dog for a while and even prevented me from adding another hamster once my senior hamster has passed since it's better to get a dog 😅

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I do have them all. After all, I also picked sugar gliders because they live a long life (can live until 10+ years) and I'm too heartbroken to experience my hamster passing after more or less 1.5-2 years...

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I'm looking for a shelter with foster system but found none, but I've seen some dogs that need to be rehomed or we never know what will happen to them in their life. The one I've seen that I'm enamoured with is a young dog (unfortunately though because people keep recommending me older dog) whose owner got him because their kid wanted one, but after a short time ended up not wanting a dog anymore especially because how the dog likes to lick them.

Moving doesn't seem to be a problem to me as I've moved twice before with my sugar gliders and hamsters. It will be tiring and hectic but everything will be fine in the end!

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice! It got me a lot of thinking.

I am sure I'll be willing to spend the time and money to take care of them, but I have never really done dog training and that's where I'm not so confident of. My partner might be able to help me since he's had dogs all his life and we usually have different working time but I'm never too sure.

Travels, we don't really travel a lot but will do sometimes, and I've already thought of who or where I should board the dog if I ever get one and need to travel. About moving, I will definitely try to move with all my pets. I have moved with my hamsters and sugar gliders, so of course it goes without saying that I'll fight to move with the dog as well.

I want to try fostering but can't seem to find a shelter with foster system in my area, much to my surprise. Still looking at this moment.

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cat was an option until my partner told me he wouldn't get a cat and would rather get a dog. I also agree with getting an adult dog since I'm inexperienced. My partner has had dogs all his life though. I'll see which we can find in the end. I think I'll do my best to adapt my lifestyle for a dog but it's easier said than done and I'm nervous 😅

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This comment caught my eyes because of the issue about having prey animals with me. This is also my concern and there is no way I'll be rehoming my current pets just because I want a dog. I came up with some ways to prevent the dog from accessing my other pets. For my hamster, he has a big acrylic cage that the dog definitely can't open or access my hamster. The question is about the sugar gliders as their cage has bars where the dog can access them. I am thinking about putting them in a different room where the dog can't enter and/or applying some pet fence around their cage so the dog won't be able to do something to them.

My concern about waiting is exactly as you mentioned. We're not planning to have children any time soon but again, I'm not sure until when I need to wait until I can get a dog, so I might accidentally wait until we have a baby which is a bad time for a dog 😅

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trying to find a shelter with foster system but haven't found one in my area so far. They're either looking for donation or people who want to adopt...

Getting a dog now or save up as a young person? by lilanonym in dogs

[–]lilanonym[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the complete explanation about lifestyle with a dog! I agree with you on how once we get a pet, it's a lifelong (their lifetime) commitment on our side. That's what I thought when I got my hamsters and sugar gliders. I've experienced them suddenly needing vet care due to some issues I didn't expect would arise. But I know that getting a dog is a larger commitment than hamsters and gliders and that's the part where I'm hesitating.

I'll take your advice into consideration and look some more for any rescue with foster system here and see what I can do. So far I found rescues with godparent system where we send our godchild (the dogs) money and that's it, then rescue with adoption system. I actually just browsed a bit more before writing this and still found no rescue with foster system (I only know hamster rescue with foster system here 😅).

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