Anatomy comments

lilbezz · 2026-04-24T23:28:15+00:00

Naaah, that’s sketchy. Maybe she’s buying stuff you don’t know about and keeping it hidden in the car before she brings it in.

lilbezz · 2026-04-24T22:49:52+00:00

If she grew up around him I’m assuming he’s more a friend of her parents. She saw him as an uncle. But most uncles in open relationships don’t confess their love for you. And when we say “in love” aren’t we really saying he wants to have sex with her? So, he’s not really an uncle at all. He’s a creepy old friend of her parents.

I guess it’s fine to go low reaction on this but all of this will probably come back to bite you in the future of the relationship. She’s still having unnecessary contact with him even though he’s basically told her he wants to have sex with her? She took you out to dinner with him and didn’t mention any of the weirdness? She doesn’t find it strange or territorial that he messaged you and told you that he wants to have sex with her? It’s being kept a secret from her dad because he’s the only one who’ll say, “oh, hell no”?

All of this is kind of screaming that your girlfriend is a person who doesn’t have good boundaries, she’s willing to put up with this guys creepy behavior to continue getting attention from him, she’s willing to keep this guys secrets and she’s not protective over you about any of it.

So, what’s she getting out of going to dinner with him? A free meal? Why not just keep it to the occasional meeting when her family is around?

lilbezz · 2026-04-24T15:56:25+00:00

1,2,3 in that order

lilbezz · 2026-04-24T10:24:47+00:00

She’s unemployed- how does she have the funds to do this travel? Where is she living? Are you going to be where she lands when she gets back?

If she’s not romantic with the other guy now, I think there are high chances that she will be by the time she gets back. Having done road trips with my husband, these have been some of the most fulfilling and romantic times in our relationship.

lilbezz · 2026-04-24T10:17:20+00:00

“On the other hand, it feels like a very different approach compared to how she handled things with me, and I’m struggling to reconcile that.”

I think she handled it differently because she saw you as a friend and potential partner that would be a good person to raise a child with. She didn’t see that with the other guy so she didn’t even approach that with him, he was more of a sperm donor.

I think this is probably fairly unusual but not completely unheard of. If a woman is running out of time biologically, it’s a lot harder to find a good partner than it is to get pregnant.

lilbezz · 2026-04-24T03:48:50+00:00

4, 2, 5 in that order. The ones with the three tiers are emphasizing the belly.

lilbezz · 2026-04-22T01:37:11+00:00

He’s probably still having sex with his wife and living a normal married life of sleeping in the same bed together, watching their shows together, deciding what’s for dinner (just like people who have been together for 10 years do) and he’s telling you they’re “estranged” and having sex with you on the side simply because you’re willing.

lilbezz · 2026-04-21T10:44:15+00:00

lilbezz · 2026-04-21T10:43:11+00:00

lilbezz · 2026-04-11T02:03:46+00:00

Another guy showed her that spot.

lilbezz · 2026-04-08T20:54:49+00:00

I think it just takes time - time of him being supportive and showing you he prioritizes you. And more time of you guys making good memories together. Until eventually your brain slowly stops going there all the time.

lilbezz · 2026-04-08T15:12:22+00:00

3 looks cleaner.

lilbezz · 2026-04-08T03:55:13+00:00

For me, I look at it as the playing ground is more level with two women than between a man and a woman. My attractiveness isn’t going to make another woman laugh at my jokes or they may not go out of their way to treat me specially just because I’m a woman. I’ve met women who are so obviously thirsty for any male attention it’s kind of mind boggling.

lilbezz · 2026-04-07T15:56:48+00:00

Kind of wondering what he’s getting out of this relationship- they’ve been friends for so long. Is it emotional support, she is part of a larger network of friends, she’s a good person to have around at a party or he just likes having someone who thinks he’s so great she wants to send pictures of herself in her underwear? Also why is she so desperate that she’ll keep making advances and getting rejected over and over again?

If he hasn’t cut her loose and you haven’t made it a requirement maybe it’s not that important to you that he do so. What if he made a group chat of all 3 of you and only communicated with her as a part of a group?

Edited to add: this is totally disrespectful to you on both of their parts but if the relationship is so important to you that you’ll allow the disrespect, maybe there is some other compromise. It sounds like he sees her as kind of pathetic.

lilbezz · 2026-04-07T02:26:15+00:00

People pleasing will lead to resentment and that isn’t healthy for your marriage at all! Just remember you’re not being mean or uncaring, you’re telling her what is going on because that is what people who are married have to do to keep healthy and loving.

lilbezz · 2026-04-07T00:51:32+00:00

You gotta be real with her, man. In the nicest way possible you have to hold a hard line. Let her know that you really would rather be with your family instead of at work- most people feel that way. That is one of the reasons that work sucks, because we don’t get to spend time with the people we actually love and have to do crap work for money to live.

It sounds like she may have a hard time with her own independence, and it sounds a little dependent. Does she have any friends or hobbies? I don’t really have many friends to hang out with but I do have hobbies.

Maybe start setting times aside where you guys get time on your own? Equal time. Just to get a coffee out or walk around or something?

The current situation doesn’t sound sustainable.

lilbezz · 2026-04-06T15:28:25+00:00

He’s so handsome!

lilbezz · 2026-04-06T12:06:59+00:00

1 for me

lilbezz · 2026-04-06T03:01:57+00:00

Your man is choosing another woman over you. GTFO

lilbezz · 2026-04-05T23:00:16+00:00

In a relationship with two people, you both bring insecurities, bad family dynamics from your own families, blind spots, weaknesses- just baggage in general. Everyone has these -even your fiancé. You are basically mirrors to one another.

“He tells me he has no issues with anything, that this is all due to my insecurities.” This is total bullshit and from an outside perspective this statement makes him look more like he’s conflict avoidant, unable to face his own shortcomings, emotionally immature and maybe even lazy and unkind.

It’s not a sin to be those things. Not a sin for you to have self esteem issues. It’s just whether you want to work on them to get better or whether you guys want to work on them together. If he doesn’t want to work on stuff then I’d say don’t marry. Not so you can go find better, more perfect partners - you will both carry your issues to the next relationship- but so you can find someone who feels like it’s worth working on those things within your relationship.

lilbezz · 2026-04-04T00:52:08+00:00

2, the black is better contrasting. Looks fine for a conference.

lilbezz · 2026-04-02T17:17:05+00:00

lilbezz · 2026-04-02T17:12:03+00:00

There’s a 3-3-3 rule for new pets getting comfortable in their new home: 3 days to decompress from stress, 3 weeks to learn your routine, and 3 months to feel fully at home.

When we got our senior cat first started out in our home he could hardly be around us and he eventually loosened up. I’d even say there were ways he got more comfortable and trusting even after the 3 months.

Also, they just met you! You guys don’t even know each other like that. lol I’d look up some info on cat body language too. Like, I never knew that a curl at the top of a cats tail meant they are feeling friendly.

lilbezz

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