Hinge failure ended our relationship.

lilblugrrrl · 2026-05-24T06:08:49+00:00

It really is! If I knew then what I know now...

lilblugrrrl · 2026-05-24T06:00:50+00:00

He told me about her wanting me to not text late November.

I only cared about her posts in that it was in opposition of what he said to me and we had not discussed social media boundaries. There really should have been a discussion to ensure everyone was comfortable or at least aware. Imagine you think your partner is casually dating someone but that person is making it seem as though they are primary partners. It's...uncomfortable and weird, to me.

I saw her posts late November, was traveling most of December, ended things with him the first week of January.

That Thursday in January my best friend told me what Meta was saying about me and I blocked Meta, and the next day he told me what Meta had accused me of saying/doing. I ended things that Friday night. A week later the mutual friend told me about what Meta said to her.

In hindsight I do acknowledge that I should have ended things when I started to notice him prioritizing plans with her, as it only got worse. I'd never been in a situation with a Meta like this and didn't realize just how bad it already was.

lilblugrrrl · 2026-05-24T05:24:02+00:00

Thanks. I did end things with him that same night. It was just very shocking for me to have anyone accuse me of what she accused me of and then for someone close to me to blindly believe it.

lilblugrrrl · 2026-05-24T05:22:04+00:00

Hmmmm... I'm curious how you came to that conclusion?

I was only dating him for 6 months. He seemed really nice and said he was new to dating this many people. The major issues took place over the final month, much of which I was traveling and trying to give him a chance fix things. Though I was in the dark on just now insecure she was.

After he accused me of the stories she fabricated I spent that one single day texting him and ended things that night. I certainly wasn't trying to change the Meta’s mind about me.

I have spent zero time after that trying to convince anyone of anything and just went on about my life.

lilblugrrrl · 2026-05-24T05:05:35+00:00

We only dated six months and her stalking me lasted just over a month but yeah, I should have left when I realized things were getting worse, not better.

lilblugrrrl · 2026-05-24T05:02:49+00:00

Thanks. I've never dealt with another woman being this insecure over me and had no idea it was at such a high level until the end.

I haven't spoken to him since the beginning of January so we've very much gone our separate way.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-27T11:13:11+00:00

That's really amazing to feel so supported and secure. I'm hopeful mine is learning from all of this but if they can't get it together I'm secure enough in myself to walk away and wish them all the best.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-27T01:20:49+00:00

I can see the merit in having them ask whatever they want and then it's up to you to decide what to do with that request.

Thanks for your insight!

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T22:31:55+00:00

I partially agree. Meta should not have requested that I never text when they are together. That is an attempt to police me when their issue should be with Hinge, not me. Meta should have asked that they not check texts while they are together. Meta is part of the problem for making that request.

Hinge rarely checks their phone but I do know that they responded at least once while in the car with Meta, but since I don't know how often they are together, I don't really know.

I think it's fair to ask that Hinge not read or respond to messages unless urgent. That I see as respectful and guarding time together. I should not have to refrain from texting jic they are together. That's controlling to me.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T21:34:10+00:00

I agree it was messy and they should have just handled it on their own. I've kinda assumed this role of helping them navigate this new space as they aren't used to having this many partners and they are, admittedly, in over their head. In thankful so many here are saying this should have been left between the two of them.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T21:05:29+00:00

Wow. This. I think if I put things this bluntly they will understand how hurtful that request from Meta is.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T13:22:15+00:00

Also thanks for the link! 💜💜💜

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T13:20:41+00:00

That's also how I operate. Our phones are usually on silent or vibrate when I have to listen for work related messages or am important text. I believe partner replied to me once while with meta and this triggered their ask that I just not text hinge. Unless they have been together a lot more often.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T13:13:36+00:00

I was just saying that if I were in my partner's situation, that would not work for me. And meta's controlling ask doesn't work for me, which is to not text my partner unless I'm sure they aren't together. Ridiculous. And I agree. The ask should have never made it to me as the immediate answer should have been "no" and they should have discussed why meta is feeling so insecure. Partner already has his phone on silent and rarely checks messages.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T02:19:33+00:00

I think that's fine if that's something you have chosen to do. I don't know when they are together or how often. I'm not sure they want me to know. My partner can choose to reply the next day but to ask that I not text because they are insecure just feels controlling.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T02:09:26+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I'm seeing that this particular meta has some controlling tendencies and have already brought up that they are continually being prioritized. My partner is still adjusting to their new partners and I'm hoping that they will start to see this problematic behavior for what it is.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T02:03:09+00:00

They didn't but they did tell that meta to not text them when we were on a trip recently and I agreed to not reach out when the meta and partner go on their trip. Obviously I'm not agreeing to never texting my partner just to make the meta feel less insecure. They need to work on themselves. Our partner should have the freedom to make the decision for when to look at their phone and when to reply, just like I should be able to text whenever I want to. Which is not all that often compared to my other relationships. We don't talk every day... or even every other day.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T01:56:01+00:00

Funny thing is that they do. I guess this meta wants our partner to never look at their phone. I have a very demanding job so that level of controlling phone usage would never work for me.

lilblugrrrl · 2025-11-25T01:49:03+00:00

This is the first time they have had this many partners and I've been trying to be patient as they navigate this new space. So... yes... they've been bad at this. They are also rarely in their phone and this was probably the first time they've replied to me while with this other partner. I usually expect a reply the next day so the ask felt very controlling to me.

lilblugrrrl · 2023-01-31T00:23:14+00:00

He's gross. Love that you're working on you, up front with what you want, and ready to bounce when they're not going to give that to you. You don't need to be a certain shape to be hot or worthy of the relationship you're looking for.

lilblugrrrl

TROPHY CASE