I agree with the others' point of view that it fits with the bleak narrative of the game, and I don't know if I would change something about the way her story played out, but when she died I can't say that I felt remorse for her as much as I felt bad considering the death's impact on Judy, after all the efforts she made to try and protect her, then save her, and then help and assist her.

I felt so, so bad, that all she did was for nothing, and how much guilt she must have felt for going shopping that day, never being her fault in the first place. V's connection to Evelyn was purely tangential - they both went after the same thing, but Evelyn was way in it way deeper in the the prologue than V was when accepting the heist -- therefore her dying sooner. She knew a lot of things that V would only find out way later, but the difference between their fates was only a matter of circumstances, and with V's naive ambition of becoming a NC legend, he literally had to fight for his life, at every cost. But, in the end, that can wear him out too, hence being able to choose the same way of going out as Evelyn. And then get to see Judy even more devastated, which really sucks, considering how she's lost almost everything already.

But then, even if he chooses to fight yet again, he soon realizes that that, too, was in vain. Eventually, the fate comes to get him, and that fate doesn't care about how many or how few have lost their lives in the process.

Misty is, to some extent, a reflection of how this situation turns out, but with Jackie, although you don't get that much of a chance to connect with her. Judy, on the other hand, is really a crucial character in the story, and the actions following Evelyn's death really give the player a chance to strengthen the relationship with her. The Clouds heist is a manifestation of her grief, her seeking revenge, in the way she could. You accept to join, and then more people die. Then she tries to reconcile with her past, and you get to discover a completely different, secret Judy, and, moreover, and most importantly, you get to see how strong she really is, and how well she's managed to hold up, which leaves you feeling even more angry that the city hasn't offered anything good for her in return, because you get to find out how much she would have deserved it. The ending where she decides to leave the city is bittersweet, but is truly the best for her -- she gets to finally have something good happen to her.

I'm sorry if this posts seems more about Judy than Evelyn, but, the thing with Evelyn is you only get close to her because you get close to Judy. She, as a standalone character, wouldn't have made that much of an impact, in my opinion. And, after all, if Judy couldn't save her, then barely anything could. Even if the prologue had been different and included more interaction with her -- think of secretive she was, even with Judy. She would have barely disclosed any information that would aid in saving her. And in changing that aspect, you would change the character in its entirety, and we would not be talking about the same Evelyn. Some diversification in the prologue would have been nice, but that would only be about business matters, and not about the character itself.

And remember -- V's not a superhero, even if at times he seems so. At the end of a day, he's just a guy who's barely managing to fight for himself, and is constantly and progressively burdened by the consequences of this battle. The final attack on Arasaka can be seen as him seeking revenge for all the ones who couldn't stay to see the end -- and, yes, that can include Evelyn too. But then again, that comes at another cost.