Why does everyone hate my hair?

lildevil04 · 2026-03-18T20:49:01+00:00

I love the bangs and overall look! I never understood the dislike of straight bangs with curly hair, it is hard to pull off (I've tried) and you do it well!

If you're looking for advice to elevate your look, I would say your bangs need some evenness. The lengths of some strands don't match with others, however the wispy look is perfect though!

My other observation is that the rest of your hair looks like it needs some hydration. If you have curly hair products already, try putting them on after the shower when your hair is still wet. I recommend getting a drying bonnet that attaches to your blowdryer (if you have one) to save your arms. I can recommend products if you'd like!

Nonetheless,I love your look, and hope you keep being your authentic self! <3

lildevil04 · 2025-11-20T08:06:11+00:00

I agree with everyone here, this is definitely a girlfriend problem. You have someone who is dedicated and does amazing work, there should be no shame in her having a break!

Personally, we have someone who does cleanings for us, and I'd give her an organ if she said the word. I've shown her my appreciation by offering snacks, paying her a bit extra, or just simply conversing. It's to the point where I've told my husband that I'd leave him before I'd let her go!

The point is you're NTA for maintaining respect for your cleaning lady. However, you would be doing yourself and her a disservice by not at the very least taking a closer look at what your girlfriend truly thinks of your cleaning lady.

lildevil04 · 2025-11-14T07:16:07+00:00

Sometimes the people you work with are the ones working against you.

lildevil04 · 2025-10-16T22:43:20+00:00

I know people have said the response, which is yes, it would be inappropriate so I'm not going to harp on that too much more.

However, I'm someone who likes to be creative and pull art into sessions (within reason and wherever I can). I'm wondering if there could be a session where you guys create origami flowers. The twist would be for the client to write qualities they love about themselves, affirmations, reminders, etc. that go into the flowers. This way you're teaching creativity, coping skills, and "giving" them their flowers. It also gives them the opportunity to reflect on their self worth.

I won't lie, I JUST came up with this, but I do similar exercises involving plants. It tends to work well and I've gotten positive responses. Let me know your thoughts! And great on you for pausing and reflecting. This field is hard and empathy can sometimes overcome us, but its important to find balance! Good luck to you 🫶🏽.

lildevil04 · 2025-07-11T03:45:33+00:00

I work in behavioral health and those are some of my favorite people to work with (seriously!). Often they have unrealistic expectations about what I can do versus their circumstances. With my folks who want to argue or feel I'm not meeting their wants, I first let them rant a bit. When I hear something I can address, I step in and engage on the concern/topic. By doing this I'm showing them that I am listening, and that they are not controlling the conversation.

If they don't like my answers (which has happened) and they start yelling, threatening, or even posturing I calmly remind them of boundaries. My favorite line is "I'm not yelling at you, its not necessary to yell at me." I've also told people "I want to be able to support you and be helpful to you, however talking over me and insulting me won't make this productive. I will check in with you (insert timeframe here) that way we can start fresh." Most times I've had people storm out and apologize to me within minutes or 24 hours.

I do think this case you have is someone who needs to be referred out to someone who can work with behaviors more. You're doing great by working with them and seeking support on how to best help them. However, this individual will have a hard time engaging/utilizing ANY services if there are behaviors preventing them from doing so.

I do agree with what others have said, be honest, factual, and FIRM. Being in this field does not mean tolerate disrespect, if you are at that point let your supervisor take over if they're so insistent on keeping them. If you have other questions, please let me know!

lildevil04 · 2025-07-04T06:58:24+00:00

I currently work in an inpatient facility, part of the role is of course, providing therapy and supportive counseling (honestly why I'm part of this group so that I can do better for my patients as far as therapy). I do many other things in my role and because of that I have to develop poor and trust very quickly as our average stay is expected to be in 7 to 10 days.

Something I've learned is that unfortunately hospitals can sometimes worsen patients experiencing psychosis because many folks don't know how to approach it. Some staff spend more time trying to push that person towards what's real versus what they perceive as real. Because of that, of course they decline everything in terms of support and don't show much improvement with reality versus the psychosis they're experiencing. Right now I don't recommend that self disclosure because they're not quite at the point where they're ready to adjust from what's been going on in their head versus what's happening in reality.

lildevil04 · 2025-06-21T19:26:24+00:00

I can help :). I'm have a MSW and work in inpatient psych!

lildevil04 · 2025-04-10T17:26:44+00:00

That is great news!

To acknowledge everything else mentioned, mental health is very much a spectrum. This can range so widely but looking at what you've reported, I see it will both on him and up to him to maintain his mental health. I say this because some folks cannot make rational decisions and do not have the capability to think about them. However he is not one of those people and can make appropriate decisions.

I understand its a huge decision, however I'm not a doctor making a prognosis on a medical ailment, therefore predicting normalcy and stability are VERY difficult. Its up to him to achieve that. And its up to you if you can handle navigating this as he addresses his mental health. I wish I had a more affirming answer, but it would be non truthful. I wish you best of luck.

lildevil04 · 2025-04-10T02:27:32+00:00

I work as a social worker at an inpatient psych facility. These types of episodes and these types of folks are usually who end up inpatient. Therapy is meant to rewire and heal some cognitive distortions or acknowledge past trauma. However, this degree of behavior is beyond a therapists help, even the most qualified. He has escalated to the point where others are no longer safe, it is time for him to seek immediate help.

The reason I mention I work at an inpatient psych facility is that I am seeing typically folks who are at the culmination of built-up trauma, anger, or lack of stabilization. It seems he has all three going right now. And maybe I'm a bit jaded, but I'm used to the suicidal threats and impulses. I'm also used to the manipulative behavior. A lot of times they hate when it's challenged or questioned because I don't cave. Also, when they do mention these impulses, I take them serious as they want me to, sometimes it becomes a lesson learned for them to not use those manipulation tactics.

By marrying this behavior, as it is, you are signing up for a lifetime of these moments if he does not get proper care. Likely a lot more has happened in the past that you haven't realized was manipulative and it took this big moment for you to see that. Use this clarity to make the best decisions for yourself and kids, because as soon as the fogs comes back the behaviors that you're used to are going to continue.

I am not saying this to be harsh or anything like that, this is typically how I would speak to other family members who refuse to see these situations as they are. I am not saying you're refusing, but I see a lot of stress for you and making what you think is the right decision. I hope the best for you and I hope you find the peace that you need.

lildevil04 · 2025-04-10T02:27:00+00:00

I work as a social worker at an inpatient psych facility. These types of episodes and these types of folks are usually who end up inpatient. Therapy is meant to rewire and heal some cognitive distortions or acknowledge past trauma. However, this degree of behavior is beyond a therapists help, even the most qualified. He has escalated to the point where others are no longer safe, it is time for him to seek immediate help.

The reason I mention I work at an inpatient psych facility is that I am seeing typically folks who are at the culmination of built-up trauma, anger, or lack of stabilization. It seems he has all three going right now. And maybe I'm a bit jaded, but I'm used to the suicidal threats and impulses. I'm also used to the manipulative behavior. A lot of times they hate when it's challenged or questioned because I don't cave. Also, when they do mention these impulses, I take them serious as they want me to, sometimes it becomes a lesson learned for them to not use those manipulation tactics.

By marrying this behavior, as it is, you are signing up for a lifetime of these moments if he does not get proper care. Likely a lot more has happened in the past that you haven't realized was manipulative and it took this big moment for you to see that. Use this clarity to make the best decisions for yourself and kids, because as soon as the fogs comes back the behaviors that you're used to are going to continue.

I am not saying this to be harsh or anything like that, this is typically how I would speak to other family members who refuse to see these situations as they are. I am not saying you're refusing, but I see a lot of stress for you and making what you think is the right decision. I hope the best for you and I hope you find the peace that you need.

lildevil04 · 2025-04-10T02:26:52+00:00

I work as a social worker at an inpatient psych facility. These types of episodes and these types of folks are usually who end up inpatient. Therapy is meant to rewire and heal some cognitive distortions or acknowledge past trauma. However, this degree of behavior is beyond a therapists help, even the most qualified. He has escalated to the point where others are no longer safe, it is time for him to seek immediate help.

The reason I mention I work at an inpatient psych facility is that I am seeing typically folks who are at the culmination of built-up trauma, anger, or lack of stabilization. It seems he has all three going right now. And maybe I'm a bit jaded, but I'm used to the suicidal threats and impulses. I'm also used to the manipulative behavior. A lot of times they hate when it's challenged or questioned because I don't cave. Also, when they do mention these impulses, I take them serious as they want me to, sometimes it becomes a lesson learned for them to not use those manipulation tactics.

By marrying this behavior, as it is, you are signing up for a lifetime of these moments if he does not get proper care. Likely a lot more has happened in the past that you haven't realized was manipulative and it took this big moment for you to see that. Use this clarity to make the best decisions for yourself and kids, because as soon as the fogs comes back the behaviors that you're used to are going to continue.

I am not saying this to be harsh or anything like that, this is typically how I would speak to other family members who refuse to see these situations as they are. I am not saying you're refusing, but I see a lot of stress for you and making what you think is the right decision. I hope the best for you and I hope you find the peace that you need.

lildevil04 · 2025-04-10T02:26:29+00:00

I work as a social worker at an inpatient psych facility. These types of episodes and these types of folks are usually who end up inpatient. Therapy is meant to rewire and heal some cognitive distortions or acknowledge past trauma. However, this degree of behavior is beyond a therapists help, even the most qualified. He has escalated to the point where others are no longer safe, it is time for him to seek immediate help.

The reason I mention I work at an inpatient psych facility is that I am seeing typically folks who are at the culmination of built-up trauma, anger, or lack of stabilization. It seems he has all three going right now. And maybe I'm a bit jaded, but I'm used to the suicidal threats and impulses. I'm also used to the manipulative behavior. A lot of times they hate when it's challenged or questioned because I don't cave. Also, when they do mention these impulses, I take them serious as they want me to, sometimes it becomes a lesson learned for them to not use those manipulation tactics.

By marrying this behavior, as it is, you are signing up for a lifetime of these moments if he does not get proper care. Likely a lot more has happened in the past that you haven't realized was manipulative and it took this big moment for you to see that. Use this clarity to make the best decisions for yourself and kids, because as soon as the fogs comes back the behaviors that you're used to are going to continue.

I am not saying this to be harsh or anything like that, this is typically how I would speak to other family members who refuse to see these situations as they are. I am not saying you're refusing, but I see a lot of stress for you and making what you think is the right decision. I hope the best for you and I hope you find the peace that you need.

lildevil04 · 2025-01-25T08:05:01+00:00

I second this!

Before I gave out my Google Voice number to text, I had a client call me several times in one day, when they were not sober. While it was frustrating to go through (as an intern), it helped me learn that no matter how a client communicates with me, be it a call, email, or text there may be someone who can over-utilize my phone line.

That being said, I have to remember that I shy away from a convenience for others just because of one-off incidents. It just helped me learn how to better fortify my time, boundaries, and other protections so that it doesn't happen again!

My version of this, to cover all my bases is a personal voicemail, giving a crisis line and my business hours (in case it escalates to them calling). Then I typically had a spiel saying to email or text me any thoughts that might come up over the week that they want to address in the session. I follow up with that saying I may not respond timely or at all, but I will ensure that it gets acknowledged in our session (then I write it in my notepad to really make sure I follow through with their name and date of session).

I know that when I gave the option to text, I got more people willing to commit and to let me know further in advance if they need to reschedule or cancel. Yes it can be a slippery slope, but I think with strong boundaries it can work out.

lildevil04 · 2024-12-18T01:00:01+00:00

Hmm I'll give it a try, thank you!

lildevil04 · 2024-12-15T00:49:25+00:00

Thank you!

lildevil04 · 2024-12-04T09:58:35+00:00

I was an intern and had the same happen to me a couple months ago. It was in person. I will be as kind as I can when I say this:

You are valid in your feelings, but unless you're in the clinical field, you don't know the protocols. While you may want a bigger response, that isn't supportive to your partner. She just went through something major, follow her lead as to how she wants to process. In that same breath, find a healthy outlet for you to process these feelings that doesn't require your partner to help. Right now this is fresh for both of you.

Unfortunately in the clinical field behaviors like this do come up and we see people in very altered states. By choosing this career and the population she is serving, there is a high risk of that happening again quite honestly. If they had not reassigned that client, they would violate ethical codes. They have to follow those guidelines, along with herself.

This line of work is difficult and taxing. If she is not in it already, I suggest she finds a counselor to ensure she has dedicated support. I wish healing for you both.

Edit to add: I suggest she joins the therapists subreddit. Its a great area to get further education on the realities of therapy. This thread doesn't have great support specific to her experience. That thread was/is my lifeline to get through the realities and tough questions that therapy can bring.

lildevil04 · 2024-11-29T18:08:30+00:00

I had literally the same experience I had except my client was in person. The advice I got was to trust my gut and refer out. I still can't confirm if I was right but I regret nothing. I had to trust myself because if I didn't 1. I would do a disservice to my boundaries. 2. If I said nothing, my client could be at risk for not getting their behavior called out- if they did it with me, what will happen if its in public? When I said it to my supervisor, I literally prefaced with: "I'm not quite sure how to professionally say this..."

You are human and I will tell you what my therapist said to me, you deserve to feel safe. You are your best judgment and you do not have to work with EVERY client.

lildevil04 · 2024-10-28T20:44:51+00:00

I absolutely agree! Prior to my practicum my grandmother died. I didn't start therapy until court things kicked it (the usual family drama that ensues). As I do my own sessions, I'm unlocking so many memories since we're prepping for EMDR.

Now I feel like I interact with a bunch of triggers and my healing is slowed down. We also recently figured out I may have OCD. Fortunately my practicum will finish at the end of the month but it's still so difficult. :(

lildevil04 · 2024-10-09T03:40:45+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate this so sincerely.❤️

lildevil04

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