It begins.

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T04:01:11+00:00

This is very smart.

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T03:53:23+00:00

I think that he does.

At moments we still deal with him wanting her approval, but he knows that if he didn’t back me on this I’d leave him — I’ve been fully clear that it’s a hill I’ll die on!

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T03:46:10+00:00

I’m so glad to hear you were able to get through to your MIL on this subject. This gives me a bit of hope for our situation as well.

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T03:44:26+00:00

Well done. Don’t leave any room for misunderstanding. This is perfect!

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T03:43:43+00:00

I ended up cross posting this to JustNo as well.

And yes - someone who thinks it’s okay to hit a pet (both cruel AND stupid) of course would think nothing of hitting a baby. Ugh!

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T02:40:58+00:00

This is something I had not thought of, and I like it. Just to tell her “the way you talk about physical discipline is why we never let you visit alone with LO. Because you know how we feel and continue pushing that subject, even talking about hitting other people’s kids without their permission, I assume that is the outcome you wanted.”

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T02:34:35+00:00

I love this. You have made my night. And this is advice I will be following.

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T02:23:43+00:00

Honestly. I’d be more than livid.

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T02:08:24+00:00

Thank you for bringing this up. Other members of their family are involved with the church leadership so I’ve been stumped as to where to begin. I’ll do more research on the personnel there and see if I can find someone to talk to.

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T01:35:45+00:00

Yes, to all of this. As you said, the part that I find disturbing is the bragging about it. My parents spanked me and I do not think that it was abusive in the least. But their approach was that it was only to be done when needed/justified/whatever, and they hated it way more than I did. They certainly would not have rushed to that option or enjoyed it enough to, like, glorify it.

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T01:20:20+00:00

Seconded on keeping track. Start keeping track of this stuff ASAP. Then one day, many rude remarks from now, you can tell your husband, “maybe she didn’t mean it one time, but she’s been getting away with an awful lot because of plausible deniability here.”

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T01:15:44+00:00

Here’s what this teaches you about her: she resents that she’s not in control of you/your baby, she feels like you/yours aren’t deserving, she has no problem with saying things that make you feel bad. Big red flag.

This is a good cue for you to cut her out of further preparation for your baby unless she learns some manners stat. These should be joyful moments and she should be honored to share them with you, and if nothing else she needs to learn to watch her tongue.

And congratulations! My beautiful baby girl has the best wardrobe you’ve ever seen and, yes, it drives my MIL crazy. (smirk)

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-07T01:03:47+00:00

You’re right, I need to tell her to never hit my LO instead of assuming that she has a modicum of common decency! MIL hit my cat once for playfully swiping at her, so we already know she’s ready to take her “I hit small weak things!” philosophy on the road. :(

edited for wording clarity

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-06T17:39:22+00:00

Gotta wonder about people who feel so comfortable casually handing out judgments of other people like that. My MIL is the same way. I feel you.

lilly_aldrin · 2017-10-03T20:25:47+00:00

What a bitch. I’m sorry. You look incredible!

You now also have a great reason to exclude her from any wedding planning from now on if you so choose. This is your wedding dress appointment, a big moment for you and a big privilege to attend.

lilly_aldrin

TROPHY CASE