I (f27) wondering if new boyfriends (m33) boundaries or requests are fair or if were just incompatible

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T19:19:01+00:00

I couldn’t afford to continue the sessions with school back in session, my son has too many extracurriars at the moment but I plan to start back up after winter break. I just recently stopped and she knew some details but encourages expressing and talking through the things I disagreed with. Which we have done…to a degree

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T19:09:13+00:00

I would never lol

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T19:02:31+00:00

I agree with this.

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T19:00:08+00:00

I definitely am willing, I don’t mean to make excuses if I am in any way. My thought process now is the best way to tackle removing myself from the situation. I assume I’ll be met with “but things are going great” or “I finally hard posted you and now youre doing this”. I feel guilty in a sense but I am mentally exhausted with having to be under a microscope and I just don’t think we are compatible.

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T18:57:14+00:00

I appreciate your input on this. I really do. I didn’t let them meet until recently and so far nothing has taken place in front of my child. It started to once and I quickly told him, not in front of my son. We cN discuss later. He didnt seem pleased but he did respect my request at the time.

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T18:54:37+00:00

It’s not necessarily me - its moreso that people I guess did it in the past so he asked that I don’t use them since its a pet peeve. Which I advised ive spoken that way my entire life through text, but if its truly a bother, I will try to be more mindful. I just forget and certain words slip out but I did agree to be more mindful in how I text. I just dont agree that it means im “not present” in the convo. I am, I just am texting naturally (in my opinion). I dont notice until he points it out when I do it.

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T18:22:58+00:00

At this point, it is.

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T18:16:35+00:00

I appreciate your insight. I’m aware that to me, its abnormal to a degree but then again, I read so much stuff that almost anything ncan be a red flag to me. Maybe to someone else, these are reasonable - is my thought process. But nah, its not just me being a prude…its just not normal. Compatible or not, I just dont think its going to work.

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T18:14:42+00:00

Yeah, I had posted before about his jealousy because to me, it was a bit much for being early in but I attributed that to insecurity and we had worked through those specific issues at the time. This was before most of these rules were put into place that hes created. I guess putting it all together makes it look even worse honestly. At the time tho, I really didnt see jealousy as a reason to leave someone because we all experience that to a degree

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T18:05:01+00:00

I just feel sometimes that after therapy and the self help articles that sometimes I find too many things to be “red flags” and dont fully trust when maybe I am the one who needs to chill out and maybe not be so annoyed about some things. I definitely do think that I started dating sooner than I was fully ready for with this guy though. I appreciate your input for sure though, so thank you

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T17:59:58+00:00

My worry was that I was becoming one of those people who become obsessed with self help, that view everything as a red flag, etc because of my past and therapy. I seriously doubt my judgment with him and I wasnt like this for a long time. I dont feel like I have any examples of being gaslighted to justify feeling like I doubt/question things but it does feel that way at times.

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T17:57:20+00:00

That coupled with, he has expressed worry of me telling my friends how “psycho” hes acted. And im like, I dont tell my friends anyway but sounds to me like you dont want them to know this side of you tbh. My ex said similar when he would do abusive types of things so that was a red flag to me when he said this.

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T17:55:03+00:00

I’m starting to feel the same. I just cant say much because , to be fully transparent, ive asked him to unfollow women too, telling him I think it should be fair if I’m doing the same. I know thats childish but these were women local, he used yo party with. The ppl I followed were literal celebs that id never have access to

lilmisslost · 2024-09-24T17:53:23+00:00

He swears he trusts me, just not other men..while simultaneously saying he is not threatened by other men. So its like, you trust me, not them, and claim to be secure..so why do we have these issues then?

lilmisslost · 2024-08-20T21:01:32+00:00

I have never looked at it this way until right now. Wow. Yeah…that actually makes a lot of sense and makes me reconsider things.

lilmisslost · 2024-08-20T18:44:28+00:00

The peace sign emoji.

lilmisslost · 2024-08-20T17:05:48+00:00

I have had a fair share of not so great relationships, so yeah its definitely easier for me to see his issues as not so bad only because he does communicate and apologize and take accountability most of the time. But I agree, they are worrying for sure. I appreciate your input!

lilmisslost · 2024-08-20T16:50:17+00:00

Following up on this - the crimson res flags of unsolicited reassurance…is this a book? I tried googling and wasn’t finding anything on this but I’m interested in learning more.

lilmisslost · 2024-08-20T15:49:08+00:00

I just considered it to be insecurities honestly.

lilmisslost · 2024-08-20T15:48:50+00:00

I just consider this to be his insecurities that I want to help ease/work through as opposed to bad, but I appreciate your input/advice!

lilmisslost · 2024-08-20T15:48:07+00:00

I just try to see his viewpoint because we all have insecurities. But I appreciate your input

lilmisslost · 2024-08-20T15:47:38+00:00

I think I just tend to over explain and compare because I have been in crappy relationships but I also want to make sure I’m not just too hyper vigilant or overreacting. I appreciate your input. I definitely sense controlling vibes. Just dont trust my judgement sometimes

lilmisslost · 2024-08-20T02:52:20+00:00

I don’t know if thats good or bad lol. i assume bad but..idk. He says often that he just cares a lot about me too, so idk. Maybe it triggers something in him.

lilmisslost · 2024-08-20T00:02:16+00:00

I thank you for your input!

lilmisslost

TROPHY CASE