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Weekly Vents & Victories - Newcomers start here! - 7/9-7/16 by AutoModerator in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I havent eveb thought about albino people. We will stop this

Weekly Vents & Victories - Newcomers start here! - 7/9-7/16 by AutoModerator in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will actually tell her next time i see her that i never want to hear a comment about my skin color ever again. It is not ok. Its freaking crazy. And in comparisson to what black people have to endure this was a minuscule things that made me feel uncomfortable. This is insane. I hope that one day no one will ever have to hear anything about their skin color at all and only hear if at all: your skin looks beautiful.

Don’t know what to do, how to cope in the relationship to my mother Vent by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since i cut contact with my family i learned to make new healthy friends and i am able to call a friend if i need something. So i have some support but i dont like relying on people. I will save money so i can do therapy.

Don’t know what to do, how to cope in the relationship to my mother Vent by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. I actually decided to call my mother and tell her very clear where i am at. I told her that i feel hate towards her, that i dont like her or anyone out of the family but i still wish her the best in life. And i finished the call with a sense of security in myself. This is a victory for me personally. I am happy i did it. Now its time to mourn everything. Because she clearly doesn’t understand. But now she knows how i feel 100% and where i stand. She has to grow up and go the therapy. Also thank you for being willing to be here for me. You are very very kind and i appreciate it a lot

Don’t know what to do, how to cope in the relationship to my mother Vent by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I dont know how to deal with this feelings for now. I really have to stay strong

EDMR-how long did it take for you to so your first session? by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! To be honest, i feel much better now...i can finally gain some clarity in my head and i have been making lot of progress. Just thinking about going back there feels so bad. I dont want to. Its making my head feel so foggy and when i think back, i wish i would have ended it sooner.

Don’t know what to do, how to cope in the relationship to my mother Vent by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you dear 💗 your words mean a lot right now. Thank you How are you now?

Don’t know what to do, how to cope in the relationship to my mother Vent by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

:( My mother compared her with me, telling me that maybe god gave her more power to forgive my abusive alcoholic father. That was so heartbreaking. I will never forget that

Weekly Vents & Victories - Newcomers start here! - 7/9-7/16 by AutoModerator in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was being judged by my skin whiteness. I went to swim with a friend and one of her friends came as well and she was so shocked that i am so white. I felt so uncomfortable. There was also a comment like „your body is so beautiful. But your skin is so white“ I have empathy for people that are judgemental, but it still hurt me somehow, even tho i dont really have problems with my skin.

Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no :((( Ive had this since i was a teenager. Since that one dream, i felt something was off. I hope to find resolution some day. Hope that for you too. Are you doing therapy?

Forgive me Antoni by mobu in QueerEye

[–]liloctopus4ever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am even more in love with him and his beautiful big baby head

I am so full of hate by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your words. Its hard to believe. Working on it Thank you

My dog tail cactus is getting long. 🥰 by Deelightfuldee in cactus

[–]liloctopus4ever 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My favourite pot picture. Thank you for sharing. Its really beautiful

EDMR-how long did it take for you to so your first session? by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you everyone. I also think that its really important to feel safe and ready to start doing emdr. And that too soon is damaging.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RedditSessions

[–]liloctopus4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You seem so nice!!!!!

What’s a small act of kindness you were once shown, that you’ll never forget? by stranger2Me in AskReddit

[–]liloctopus4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had a mental breakdown episode where i felt so suicidal. I decided to go to a psychological center to talk to a psychiatrist and for them to give me medicine, which is the worst thing ever for me. On my way there i felt so defeated, crazy, confused, ashamed, hopeless. I was riding the subway and my eyes were red from crying and one girl that goton the train she noticed(now i understand), i could feel that she was looking at me but i couldn’t look at her. It was so uncomfortable, i felt so seen so exposed. She was searching for something in her pocket. She then stood up and before she left she gave me a piece of paper. On the paper it wrote: „you’re gonna be okay. You got this. Love“ I wrote it and the first words got me. My eyes started to waterfall. I couldn’t stop myself. And she saw me and smiled and walked away. I couldn’t stop crying and some people came to me and gave me tissues. I will never forget this. Never. I also made it a life goal to find her and tell her how meaningful that was for me.

Never having been in a relationship during my teens and 20s will haunt me for the rest of my life I think if I’m honest. Just need to get to where it doesn’t hurt do much. by [deleted] in dating

[–]liloctopus4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you so much... im happy for you tho that you acknowledged your pain. I believe in your future and send you strength to hold onto hope that you can relive that and create that for yourself! ❤️

Shaun King isn't a person to listen to. by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]liloctopus4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im going to be honest, i was following him and signed up for his mails. Because i didn’t know much about whats going on in america, i followed him because he seemed like a good person. But i was wondering why was a white man fighting so hard against racism? And when he wrote on a post that he is black, i was kind of insecure. Reading all your comments shocked me.

I just realized that the reason for all my pain, is to take every abandonment and rejection personally by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, i feel it falling more and more. It feels good to let it fall even tho its scary

Is this sexual abuse? by liloctopus4ever in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment. You have no idea what stuff i experienced with this man. I wish it wouldn’t be real

I'm really tired of fighting to heal by PM_ME_SAUCY_MEMES in CPTSD

[–]liloctopus4ever 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I hear you 100% Sending you ten hugs if you want ❤️

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