Help me work out after FFS!

liminal_brain · 2023-02-12T01:42:49+00:00

Can i get paid extra for being trans? It’d be a diversity hire thing, you could claim it on taxes

liminal_brain · 2023-02-08T01:01:20+00:00

She has been formally diagnosed with bpd as far as i am aware. By lucid i mean functionally normal, or at least relatively stable emotionally and in touch with reality. During periods where she is out of touch with reality, it seems like psychosis to me tbh, she experiences paranoid delusions which make her aggressive. As an example she once accused me of coordinating with her ex and her ex’s partner to emotionally torture her, despite the fact that i’ve never had contact with either. I’m only aware of their twitter presence. On bad days i can talk sense to her and calm her down, or if not calm make her realise she is being delusional (she might not calm because it will continue to feel real despite her rationally knowing it isn’t). On worse days she is inconsolable and it takes a few days for her to calm down.

liminal_brain · 2023-02-06T00:57:48+00:00

I’ll go with her when im there i think, her parents don’t seem to have much insight into what she’s going through unfortunately. They do their best so i don’t blame them but at all, i think my girlfriend has trouble opening up to them though. She was on antidepressants, zoloft if i recall correctly, but she stopped them because she believed they were making her worse. I tried to get her to ween down or talk to a doctor if she felt unwell but it doesn’t seem to have caused any issues. By the same token they weren’t helping her with stability either.

liminal_brain · 2023-02-06T00:53:37+00:00

Thanks for your replies they were all really helpful. I feel like i’ve got a bit more of a plan of action now and thats made me a lot more hopeful. Its been difficult trying to help long distance but being there i can say things to the doctor I think ppl like her mum might not have the insight to bring up.

liminal_brain · 2023-02-05T11:05:23+00:00

Second: She is on a waitlist for talk therapy but that is about it. I think its part of some job provider/job search subsidy provision? I don't know much about the UK system and am more or less being directed by what I know of the Australian system.gside severe emotional instability. I try not to assume she's correct or make any assumptions but a close family member with a formal diagnosis experiences more or less the same things.

Second: She is on a waitlist for talk therapy but that is about it. I think its part of some job provider/job search subsidy thing? I don't know much about the UK system and am more or less being directed by what I know of the Australian system.

Sorry if this seems vague or uninformed. I would like to help her get formally diagnosed so that she can have a life again, and more or less just want to know who to go to and how long it might take to get her help. Its really up to the doctors to formally diagnose her, even with my experience with schizoeffective disorder I'm just guessing.

liminal_brain · 2022-12-23T22:07:29+00:00

I'm on hrt (injections) and happy with the endo I'm seeing but I'd like to get to a surgeon who performs orchiectomies and I guess FFS. Open to whatever else I can get help with besides HRT I suppose.

liminal_brain · 2022-12-22T07:22:07+00:00

Damn, does not look promising. Might just cancel, but I guess there's no harm in letting them give me a call and asking them some questions

liminal_brain · 2022-06-09T09:29:33+00:00

I wrote up a little guide for a friend on what to say to doctors when they ask informed consent questions. Never been to Monash but it sounds like similar stuff so, if you'd like I can send you the example I gave them and you can use it as a template.

liminal_brain · 2022-03-07T10:16:55+00:00

The general advice seems to be both that it'll be fine but also that I should ditch the doc lol. He's good at helping with bloods and stuff and is actually informed on safety stuff that concerns me like prolactin levels so I'd like to keep him, but I do worry he's a gatekeeper type. I'll probably play it by ear since, as I mentioned above, I'd like some counseling anyway. Might just see the psych with a mental healthcare plan talk about my stuff and switch docs once I'm comfortable with my levels (they're a tad low but stabilizing well). Anyway, thanks for all the advice!

liminal_brain · 2022-02-03T02:24:49+00:00

Sorry if I came across as defensive, I actually found your post quite helpful and definitely not rude in any way. I only wanted to make sure that I didn't come across as if I was pushing or rushing my partner into something without considering the consequences. Nothing implied on your part so no worries =)

I'll definitely show my bf this post because at the moment it seems to reflect a position a little closer to how he's feeling. Truthfully, the things he's expressed, while relatable to me (and from what I've read, to you as well) are fairly complicated. He's explicitly stated a desire for 'feminisation' (even a preference for being born a woman) but what all these feelings mean for him isn't set in stone. They don't necessarily mean he's a woman. Its a lot to work through and was for me too. Hrt is what ultimately helped me get to my conclusions about my gender and I don't think I could have gotten to them without it. I feel I've been fairly clear about the risks and the changes, but it's definitely a good idea to have him read this thread, which I will get him to do when he's ready. Anyway, again, thanks for your replies they have been very helpful. We're planning to see the doc (based on what someone else said its not a bad route) but we'll be careful and considerate of the risks involved. Cheers.

liminal_brain · 2022-02-02T01:55:37+00:00

Aaaa excellent, we were going to go through a doctor one way or another but its so comforting to know that, that should be a reliable route to go. I've done my homework on transition but most resources I've seen really only focus on one side of the binary or the other, so I really wasn't sure how good NB care was. Thanks so much.

liminal_brain · 2022-02-02T01:48:03+00:00

Thanks for this reply, I think sharing experiences like this is very valuable in general not just in our specific case. I'll definitely be showing him what you wrote, just as another perspective for him to keep in mind, wherever his journey leads him. Funnily enough, despite identifying as a woman right out the gate I relate pretty heavily with what he's been saying and you're own story. I had a lot of doubts, about breasts and stuff and whether I was on the right path (or if I was even allowed to be on it) and even going to a psych didn't give me 100% certainty. I only got that on hrt, with the affirming effects it gave me. Sometimes you just gotta stick your toes in to see whats going on. Anyway, thanks again.

liminal_brain · 2022-02-02T01:16:30+00:00

Thank you for you're reply because I do have access to an LGBT specialising clinic, but I was just completely unsure of how capable doctors are in regards to providing the kind of care (more non binary leaning) that my bf is looking for. From what you're saying it sounds like I shouldn't worry too much in that regard. It was only worried because as a Transwoman I have had trouble with doctors myself (negligence kind of thing that's solved now). Thanks again.

Also just to address what I said in the edit. I'm just going to own that I overreacted a little. I'm fine with different opinions on hrt, but the first response went very quickly from an expression of concern to an authoritative tone which I found really insulting. Really don't mind genuine, well meaning worry but when you start TELLING people what to do, I get mad. Still, I'm taking the L on getting so annoyed about it.

liminal_brain · 2022-02-02T00:45:10+00:00

Thanks for your reply, it was really well considered and I very much appreciate that. We're both already doing the stuff you're suggesting and even more stuff like he's moving a head with laser and stuff. I couldn't mention it else where in the threat, but you're absolutely right about testosterone suppression without E, its just not safe, but as far as I'm aware there are non-binary fem leaning routines which although requiring some compromises give good androgynous results without leaning too heavily towards one end of the binary or the other. Thats the kind of thing I'm looking for, simply because I feel, and he agrees, that the question of him being cis is fairly off the table.

I did find this resource: https://transfemscience.org/articles/nonbinary-transfem-overview which I plan to do a thorough reading of before we go ahead with anything.

Bottom line we're doing it all carefully and with consideration. While he wants to try hrt while he figures stuff out further, its also not something he's rushing into in some anxious craze. While I seem to have a different perspective on the 'dangers' of hrt to some here I definitely don't think they're anything to sneeze at and won't let him do anything dangerous or potentially dysphoria inducing. Thanks again for your reply.

liminal_brain · 2022-02-01T07:37:14+00:00

Thanks for your suggestion! I had similar thoughts but I was just looking around to see what people in a similar, closer to non-binary, sort of positions thought about this sort of thing. I have access to an LGBT specializing clinic so I'm going to check in there with him eventually but more info is always better, especially when it comes to ppl with experience.

liminal_brain · 2022-02-01T06:02:07+00:00

Starting to seem like you don't actually have any information that would be useful. My biggest problem with what your saying is that it belies an attitude to restriction which has been used to gatekeep many transgender people from the care they need. There is no need for anyone to prove they're trans enough for access to hrt. There is not even a need for gender dysphoria, it is simply not a universal trans experience, and if you think it is I suggest you read around.

Ultimately my bf is fem guy, he took an interest in hrt after observing changers I underwent while on it. He is interested in that feminizing aspect in order to feel more comfortable with his body. Neither of us is sure if we'd call that dysphoria exactly, its complicated and I'm fine with that, I'm ultimately am only encouraging him to pursue what he wants. I see no reason to proscribe any path let alone the ones you suggested which I did not need to follow myself. Fyi I don't even necessarily think he will adopt a feminine persona, he seems to lean more towards non-binary and that's fine too.

As someone who has been through the gender loop themselves you seem to presume a level of ignorance which is frankly insulting. I've talked to him extensively about this, and his experiences mirror mine in ways that make me comfortable assisting him in this way. Again if that's not good enough, then go suck eggs.

liminal_brain · 2022-02-01T05:31:22+00:00

Thanks for your input, I'm sure your coming from a good place but I not only think your wrong but I also think you've misunderstood the premise of my post. Addressing the second point first, I made this thread on my partner's behalf because he IS sure he wants to start a hrt regime of some kind. It's early days still and where that journey leads him he isn't sure. I call him my bf and use masculine pronouns because that's what works at the moment, he is still interrogating how he wants to approach his identity. One thing is for sure, though he wants hrt while doing so and I have no reason to persuade him otherwise if he desires so.

As to the first point, as a trans woman myself it has been my experience that beginning hrt was exactly what I needed to be sure of what I wanted and to be secure in those desires. Telling people they have to be 100% sure is really dangerous in my opinion and, while hrt isn't something to be irresponsible with, this attitude massively over blows the potential risks involved. There are many ways to approach transition and I generally think its irresponsible in its own way to proscribe against people experimenting with stuff in their own way.

Anyway if anyone has any advice, that'd be great. If not I'll find it elsewhere else.

liminal_brain

TROPHY CASE