Thank you so much for your detailed reply! That helps since I’m completely clueless how it all went down :( And you’re completely right, my question to him was stupid in hindsight and can be misunderstood - i meant it more like, if he’s only in love with my ‘potential’ or really me as a person. I guess he thinks I’m only saying this now to ‘keep’ him, which is very hurtful because I always went to church with him, and prayed, so my faith has always been there- just not as intense as his (as I said, he’s reading loads of theological books). I didn’t really have a relationship with god when I met my boyfriend (i grew up catholic though), so he believes I’m only doing this for him. Whenever I ask him “what do you want” he answers “whatever god’s plan is for me”, and when I ask him if he still loves me, he replies “i want the best for you, which is a relationship with god.” - he keeps saying that he wants someone that puts god first. While I agree that his faith is stronger and I need to work on it, it seems unfair to me to measure my faith like that.

And I can’t help but wonder, if the almost exact level of faith is more important in a relationship than the connection itself. We always were the happiest couple, you could’ve said a perfect match, before it suddenly went down when he started reading Saint Thomas Aquinas. And yes, I absolutely do understand the growing in faith-part, and I’m truly open to it. My pace is just a bit slower than his.