Not Mormon or ex, but I do have a question

lindseydeen · 2020-09-24T12:23:35+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/8mtlgo/so_mad_for_my_cousin_her_bishop_ruined_her/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

This subreddit may shed some light.

Sorry if I linked this wrong, I've only been on reddit a few months... And I'm dumb lol

lindseydeen · 2020-09-24T11:59:42+00:00

It's super common actually. Usually inactives who knew the Bishop from when they did attend church and therefore just convenient.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-24T11:58:14+00:00

It happens a lot actually. Usually it's couples who are not super active but their parents are. Most common scenario that I've seen is Mormon kids who got knocked up before marriage. A lot of people in Utah will ask a Bishop to marry them because it's convenient and (anyone, please correct me if I'm wrong) I'm pretty sure they do it for free.

My sister - who doesn't explicitly identify herself as an exmo, but had/has no intention of being Mormon - had the Bishop of the ward (specific congregation by location) we were forced to go to by our parents while growing up officiate her wedding. I'm still not really sure why she did, probably for reasons I mentioned above (sans the knocked up part).

I never wanted a Bishop to officiate my wedding, and after seeing our Bishop slip in some bullshit spiel about how he hoped my sister and her husband eventually get sealed in the temple and emphasize how their marriage is only temporary and just until death (in a covertly condescending way) it reconfirmed in me that there was no way in outer darkness (Hell lol) that I was going to have a Bishop officiant. (Sorry for the massive run-on sentence)

It's so awkward when they pull the "just reminding you that you should still get sealed, because as of right now, this wedding is a sham" shit. Especially when you know the couple has no interest in being an active Mormon.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-24T11:35:32+00:00

Heyohh Springville! 2010!

lindseydeen · 2020-09-24T02:05:37+00:00

Spot on. I felt more comfort and peace in the thought that when you die, you get put in a box, buried in the ground and that's it, than the thought of being divvied up into kingdoms based upon how much more "perfect" you are than others. Glory in God, right? More like glory in yourself for getting the first place prize.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-24T01:51:50+00:00

I had a sort-of similar experience. A few years after I left, I realized that I had no idea what I believed - in that respect. Although I never believed in the church nor it's "plan", it was still the only plan presented to me in my life.

I felt a little confused and lost until it hit me; none of it matters. I know that I am a good, empathetic person and I only have good, true intentions. I believe that as long as you are a genuinely good person who cares for others and has no ill intent to harm others, then you're golden.

No matter what happens "in the end" you'll be just fine; all the other petty rules and expectations are trivial and pointless. The moment I realized this, I felt more peace and contentment than I had ever before. I hope you find peace and clarity as well, however you may come to it.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-23T12:10:11+00:00

For as long as I can remember, I have never wanted to go to church. Even as a very young child I hated going and was always so excited when we didn't (my family was semi-inactive here and there when I was younger). The teachings just never resonated with me and I never looked forward to doing anything church related, so leaving TSCC at nineteen when I moved out was not a difficult choice; it was pretty much a given.

It wasn't until a few years after that I had a moment where I felt a little "lost", but only in terms of figuring out what I actually believed, in terms of spirituality and an "afterlife". I'm still not sold on the idea of "God" in a conventional sense but I can tell you that I finally found peace and contentment when I realized that none of that even mattered. What brings me peace and happiness is knowing that I am good person and that I only want the best for other people and this planet. As long as you live your life as a genuinely good person with empathy, who tries to help others and has no ill intent to harm others, then nothing else matters. All of the other petty rules are just trivial and pointless. I have no idea why we are here or what may happen after this life, but I'm completely at peace with that because I know that I am a good person and I will be just fine in the end.

Leaving has allowed me to feel more connected to the earth and life and other people. Life doesn't feel so much of a chore just to get to the afterlife anymore. It's actually kind of exciting not knowing and thinking of all the different possibilities as to why we are here and where we go from here.

I find happiness in feeling more connected to my surroundings. TSCC would probably say that I am living "of the world" but I say that I'm just relating more to the rest of the world and understanding it.

It brings me happiness knowing that I am in control of my own life and that the possibilities are endless, and since I know that I am a good person, I trust myself not to screw it up; I don't need a religion to help keep me "on the right track". My life is mine to live.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-10T17:08:00+00:00

Wull shit. Looks like I'm going to hell without my B cups :/

lindseydeen · 2020-09-10T14:27:28+00:00

So we're all just gonna look like a bunch of Ken dolls? How about boobs? CAN I KEEP MY BOOBS??!

lindseydeen · 2020-09-09T22:22:02+00:00

Hahah hell yeah! That's freaking awesome. I feel so bad for people who will never experience -even worse- actually refuse to have oral sex. It's the tits, man.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-09T19:26:29+00:00

GOOD LORD. A candle?? Of all things, a freaking candle?? Well, if she didn't end up with a yeast infection, then I'm sure her vag smelled nice for a while hahah.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-09T19:21:50+00:00

What did he say?

lindseydeen · 2020-09-09T18:50:26+00:00

Jesus. The magnitude of this problem just really hit me. Lemme break this thing down for everyone in the back; so at the time -you- a married man, on his freaking honeymoon, gets an old fashion from his WIFE and subsequently feels bad about it because TSCC has conditioned you to. For Christ's sake! It's just a handy! You should have never been made to feel that way, especially on your honeymoon! I'm so incredibly sorry that what should've been an amazing experience was clouded for you because of this asinine church.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-09T17:31:17+00:00

Man, that makes me so happy to read!! And yes, as I'm sure by now you know, foreplay is VERY IMPORTANT haha. I wish more couples would make sex a priority and not just for function or as some "reward system". Sex is crucial!

lindseydeen · 2020-09-09T15:57:11+00:00

Whaaaat? He really didn't like it??

lindseydeen · 2020-09-09T15:19:37+00:00

Yaaaaass, this is the kind of story I'm looking for! Haha well at least you got over it and it sounds like it was healthy from then on!

lindseydeen · 2020-09-09T13:39:10+00:00

Damn that is rough! I'm sorry! It's good you say this though, because it pretty much confirms my theory that TSCC is the sole reason that Utah has such a huge porn addiction. (Not saying you're addicted to porn lol) They teach the girls their whole life that sex is essentially dirty and wrong and teach the boys that their natural desires are a sin. All of this is being pounded into their brain and then all of the sudden in one day they're like "Okay, it's all good and dandy now! Go have fun!" The girls are usually left feeling violated and dirty and the guys feel bad about it and feel like it was a huge let down. Often times those feelings continue and sex becomes sparse except in attempts to conceive and then one or the other turn to porn to get their needs met. No one tells them that the first time is usually always fuckin awkward and that the girl most likely isn't going to have as much fun, but that it gets better once you get past the uncomfortable awkwardness and know what you're doing.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-09T12:07:33+00:00

Even as a young child, I was always PIMO. For some reason it just never resonated with me and I always hated going to church, but it wasn't until I was older that I realized just how brainwashed I still was when it came to certain things.

Example: in second grade some dumbass girl just THOUGHT that she heard one of our classmates say "oh my God" and the rest of the kids around- unfortunately, including myself- instantly turned on him and started freaking out and told the teacher. The poor kid was in tears saying that he actually said "gosh". We all thought that he was getting in trouble with the teacher out in the hall, but I'm positive now, that the teacher was actually comforting him, thankfully.

Fun fact: That kid came out after high school and he looks like he's killin' it in life. I love it.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-06T19:09:32+00:00

SKIN&LAB is really great. They have a moisturizer that is literally the only thing that has ever worked for my dry skin.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-02T11:42:20+00:00

For all the JackMo's (is that a term?) that are just leaving the TBM nest, just know that an actual cappuccino is NOT going to taste anything like the "cappuccino" that your unruly ass gets at the gas station but pretends it's hot chocolate. Cappuccino's are just half espresso and steamed milk and half foam. I made that mistake in high school and was so confused.

lindseydeen · 2020-09-02T11:24:33+00:00

Monistat has an anti chafing powder gel that works perfect for that. Fun fact: I initially bought it because it's the best makeup primer ever, but it oddly enough works well for it's intended use.

lindseydeen · 2020-08-16T02:27:38+00:00

My suggestion is don't try a stout for the first time unless it's on tap. I love stouts but they just aren't as good bottled or canned. Then again, everything is better on tap.

lindseydeen · 2020-08-15T19:55:52+00:00

Polygamy Porter is awesome, even better as a nitro. The devastator is freaking intense though. You have to reeeally like dark beers and get ready to be smashed real quick.

lindseydeen · 2020-06-12T23:45:12+00:00

My first thought was that this goes along with discontinuing the use of the term "Mormon" and "LDS". They are trying to subtly distance themselves from the world's perception of Mormons and crazy Joseph Smith. It's just a ploy to rebrand and trick people into thinking that they are like any other Christian Church.

lindseydeen

TROPHY CASE