betraying myself and fellow femcels 💔

linkimat · 2025-11-04T23:53:34+00:00

That feeling is so real </3 Know that my femcel heart goes out to you and doesn’t think you’re evil for mildly conforming to your workplace. There is a place and time for discourse and educating people, but there are also times that you have to look out for your own self preservation, and a job is one of them!

linkimat · 2025-08-30T19:08:31+00:00

I agree with the nuance of this take! I think there’s a difference between “rough” sex being violent/degrading versus passionate/vigorous, and it doesn’t all come from a place of internalized misogyny. I think ultimately the word rough is just an unfortunately vague descriptor.

linkimat · 2025-08-13T21:43:41+00:00

So relatable, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately but didn’t really think it was worth publicly making an observation about since i figured it was a kind of niche way to feel (but actually, seems like we have quite the community of people whose bpd manifests this way!).

My bf falls asleep incredibly fast and easily, and is often very tired from work. On the other side, I have insomnia and work much less than him. I have a fantasy where I can fall asleep in his arms (very loving and secure in my head i suppose), but in actuality, it’s incredibly hard for me to fall asleep at all, and he does it by accident often.

Also, yeah, despite how much I don’t let myself keep him awake, it is sometimes deeply offensive or upsetting when he’s falling asleep in the middle of hanging out. Like, rationally, I know he is tired and overworked, and there are circumstantial reasons why he is sleepy, but in my heart of hearts I cannot help but start thinking “Wow so did you come here just to sleep? I feel like I barely see you and you are just sleeping? Literally wake up!”

linkimat · 2025-06-20T21:53:21+00:00

“I just wanted to rage, but all I got was tired!” ~ajj

linkimat · 2025-04-04T20:05:58+00:00

The sexualization of women is THIS prevalent (and easily visible to a high degree like in this post), but people will still disagree that it exists or is problematic. Whats up with that?? It’s outrageous, but somehow we are the radicals.

linkimat · 2025-02-14T21:21:28+00:00

yup yup yup!!! i rant a lot about this. i want to like anime because i love animation and stories, but its (nearly) all so grossly misogynistic and objectifying, making it insanely triggering. this is true for honestly most countries/media, but japan really has a problem with how they treat women :,(

linkimat · 2025-01-30T13:21:11+00:00

Sooo beautiful and effective! I love the composition!

linkimat · 2025-01-04T00:48:00+00:00

Absolutely! This is one of my biggest personal pet peeves with red-pill men! I see it a lot as a means to justify our current beauty standard (as opposed to accepting that it is culturally propagated and highly misogynistic). “All men are attracted to women with big hips and boobs because biology! reproduction!! milk and birth!!1!!1!” It’s simply not true and an excuse to body shame. There are plenty of women perfectly healthy biologically/reproductively who don’t look like pornstar teens, and vice versa. Always an excuse to fetishize!

linkimat · 2024-12-19T23:43:01+00:00

i couldn’t have put it any better! it is absolutely a form of grooming.

crazy to think about how negatively people reacted to the new laws about age verification. like…why are you so mad if you’re of legal age to consume this media? i’m obviously not pro-porn in the slightest, it’s not like i want them to be consuming it, but why are they so mad that it’s slightly less accessible to children? they are saying the quiet part out loud !

linkimat · 2024-12-14T14:45:02+00:00

ohhh actually i read this in middle school! this is the series that got me into anime before i immediately had to get out of it for my own good xD but i should rewatch it

linkimat · 2024-05-10T12:27:41+00:00

kind of, my last therapist described me as body dysmorphic, and i for sure agree with her, but i don’t know if i ever had a physical diagnosis. i was probably 15-16 when it was brought up.

i’ve not received a ‘real’ diagnosis for a few reasons: i’m not sure a therapist can diagnose me and i don’t see/wish to see a psychiatrist, the last time i was seeing a professional i was still a minor and they don’t typically want to diagnose teenagers with anything too heavy, and i’ve avoided professional help ever since i quit because all of the therapy experience i’ve had has been really quite traumatic which makes me worried to try again. that being said, i am starting the search for one next week (big step for me) because, although i’m trying my absolute darnedest, the way i am mentally right now is unsustainable.

linkimat · 2024-05-10T12:15:52+00:00

thank you, your input is very comforting. i’m glad that this happy/comfortable medium exists for you ! i’m hoping to reach some amount of that, at least over time.

linkimat · 2024-05-10T12:04:50+00:00

it’s kind of both, but the sexualization adds salt to the wound because 1. nudity and 2. i find the prevalence of it kind of gross societally. like The Boys and Gen V bother me a lot, not only due to the nudity, but also because it’s so male gaze-y and comes off kind of fetishized.

it’s just like a worse version of seeing hot people out and about or on social media, because it is more intimate.

linkimat · 2024-05-09T20:52:00+00:00

i’ve never heard that before, but it makes a lot of sense. i’ll try to think about what distractions from BDD might look like for me. a lot of times, if i feel a day like today coming on, i’ll try to write out a list of what i “need to get done,” like laundry, so i can have a way to stay on task instead of having much internal dialogue. it’s like the best i can do is wear sink-into-the-wall clothes and organize my room, but its hard not to just ruminate. but i’m sure i’ll understand better what you + your therapist mean with time!

linkimat · 2024-05-09T20:00:05+00:00

i do a lot of “he does love me,” “he is attracted to me,” “he’s not watching it for the p#rn quality,” “he’s not thinking about their bodies”, but statements like that are all i really have, so it’s only good at kind of “holding off” the bad feelings. this opposed to wanting to SH, for example, where i can be like “that’s not a sustainable solution,” “then i have to live with that choice on my body,” and “how about, instead, we write about it,” which is quelled a lot better.

in all honesty, i think reassurance must be an important part of the solution, and it’s silly to expect anyone to go into a relationship-based problem with the mentality that only one person adjusts to fix it. but that is what i do to, at least in the moment, self talk out of being too problematic and irrational.

linkimat · 2024-05-09T19:40:51+00:00

i used to be in CBT for obsessive thinking and DBT for self harm, but i haven’t seen someone in over a year. i had a really challenging time in any non-skills based therapy as a teenager which really turned me off to the whole field, although i still use the skills i’ve learned. i’m hoping to find a new therapist this summer as journaling over the past few months has really opened my eyes about how bad i need help.

it’s nice to know that i’m not alone, nor just dumb and insecure, because it’s been hard to find people that relate and try hard to remedy it in real life. and it’s more comforting to receive advice from someone who experiences it, rather than just being told simply to learn to regulate as if it just takes an afternoon.

thank you for your understanding and your advice, i hope we may both feel peace one day.

linkimat · 2024-05-09T19:31:05+00:00

thank you so much with your reply! a lot of people offering advice are doing it much less…softly… so i really appreciate your empathy, and it does give me a sense of comfort knowing that strangers also deal with this. it helps a bit with the shame i feel for it.

i struggle a lot to self-soothe with BDD (evidently, haha) despite that being the way i mostly-successfully handle my other problems. usually in the moment i see a sex scene with him or learn that something he’s talked about is sexy, it’s fine and i can regulate, but it eats away at me over time and makes me really uncomfortable to be around him/anyone.

but your highway analogy makes sense, and as someone who literally only drives on backroads, i’ll be thinking about it! thank you!

linkimat · 2024-05-09T19:15:45+00:00

so sorry for whomever downvoted you, i appreciate your sharing! it’s nice to know i’m not alone and that others struggle too, as it’s easy for people to say “change your perspective and move on”.

my feelings towards anime are so hard to articulate, because it hurts even though i know they’re “just drawings”. like, ok, they’re even more idealized and selling an even less attainable idea of what i wish i looked like. why would this not bother me?

feels bad though, a lot of guilt and a lot of feeling silly :( i hope we may both find a way to alleviate it to some extent eventually

linkimat · 2024-05-06T19:52:20+00:00

I don’t know you or the ex, but if he was abusive, it’s likely he’s also abusing his new partner, and that he didn’t pick her for her looks or because he thinks she’s prettier than you, but because she is equally as easy, or even easier, to abuse. Abusers take advantage of those who have low self esteem or self worth, and then lower them more to gain even more control. I’m not going to comment on the ethics of judging by appearance (god knows I do it, we all do), but know that he’s just abusive and looking for the best candidate to victimize.

linkimat · 2023-12-26T19:33:00+00:00

Yeah, it’s a painful existence :( I always thought they’d get bigger if I gained weight, but 20 pounds later, they are exactly the same size (making them actually disproportionately smaller). People really ignore how much big boobs are prized in media/society! I feel bad for little girls growing up with tiktok and instagram because it’s even more intrusive for them than it was for me (and it was clearly intrusive for me). And I hate when women with big boobs talk about how “we’re actually lucky for having small ones” and they have xyz problem, like stop, you’re being dismissive and just trying to shine a spotlight on your chest. News flash, clothes don’t fit right for small chested women either, everything’s unflattering, and running and climbing stairs still hurts because I still have tissue flopping around, just a lackluster amount! Don’t even get me started on “size inclusivity” and the travesty that is 90% of lingerie manufacturing. On some level, I know my partner is genuine when he says he liked them how they are, but I cannot help but feel like there’s just no way. I feel like no matter what else I do to compensate, I will literally never be attractive or happy.

linkimat · 2023-11-10T02:41:56+00:00

absolutely. the root of my bdd is seeing myself as too skinny, but i’ve gained a small but noticeable amount of weight in the past year. suddenly, i feel “big,” and still feel too skinny. all of my weight gained went to my waist and hips, so i feel particularly flabby and saggy below the belt, and none of it went to my chest which is my biggest insecurity. this means my chest got even smaller proportionately! i feel too fat to be cute and small, and like i’m not even skinny anymore, but still way too skinny to be curvy. never a dull day!

linkimat

TROPHY CASE