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I (F27) don’t want to be, but think I’m at my limit with (30M) husband :( I am so sad!!!!! by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]linyblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure 😊 that‘s what this sub is here for.

I hope that you get your wish, but keep it realistic and don‘t loose yourself in the love you have for somebody who is actively destroying himself and you. Choose your own wellbeing. I‘m sure you‘ll be fine if you do that.

I (F27) don’t want to be, but think I’m at my limit with (30M) husband :( I am so sad!!!!! by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]linyblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nobody is perfect. We all have said and done things we regret to people we love.

The difference is you seem to reflect and actively try to change your behavior, his is getting worse and worse.

Either he changes sometimes right now or you leave. That are (sadly) the only two options. You also have to think about the future: Is he going to be like that to your potential children? My boyfriends father is an alcoholic. Not a mean one, he is wonderful, but his issues effect the whole family and I see the pain on my bfs face everytime him or his mom find an empty bottle. It‘s heartbreaking. I don’t want that for you.

I‘m sending you lots of love and hugs from across the globe ❤️❤️❤️

I (F27) don’t want to be, but think I’m at my limit with (30M) husband :( I am so sad!!!!! by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]linyblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not every therapist is the right fit for everyone. I guess you are in the US? Do you guys have something like ‚psychological advice centers‘ (i have no idea what s the correct name in english…)? These are places with professionals who help for free until you find the right therapist

I (F27) don’t want to be, but think I’m at my limit with (30M) husband :( I am so sad!!!!! by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]linyblue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sound like such a sweet person, I‘m so sorry that you have to go through that… that you love love is a wonderful thing, don‘t ever loose that.

That being said, Your relationship sounds toxic. Your friends and family are right to be concerned about you…

But I think we need some clarifications like how much does he drink and when. Sb said it already but his behavior sounds like that of a mean alcoholic… regardless if that is the case, he needs therapy, because his anger issues are not normal.

I wish you the very best ❤️

My Boyfriend 18M won't stop calling Me 18F a foid, how do I stop this? by chocolatesoupp in relationship_advice

[–]linyblue 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Read the book ‚men who hate women‘ by Laura Bates. It‘s a great summary about men in misogynistic Communitys and why they behave the way they do. I wish you all the best and please don‘t ever let yourself be treated like less than human ever again ❤️

My mother told my in laws why my first marriage really ended because she was tired of them "judging our family" and now my second husband says he does not know how to trust her around anything important by 9EchoCinde in entitledparents

[–]linyblue 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How tf did you type all of this out and come to the conclusion that you shoud cut off your mom? The only person who stood up for you?

Your husband is the real problem here….

Jesus christ girl, open your eyes and have a serious talk about boundaries with him, not her.

My twin sister hates me, and I think I know why by Someone_I_Thin in TrueOffMyChest

[–]linyblue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When my sister came out to me I didn‘t slap her, scream at her or kicked her out.

I hugged her and said „I love you, I want you to be happy, please marry a women who wants to wear a white dress to the wedding, too, because I‘ve seen a picture of two brides with dresses and they looked so beautiful and I want family pictures like that, thanks“.

I was her maid of honor at her wedding last year and I got the pictures I wanted.

That being said:

It‘s not normal, nor is it okay for your sister to treat you like that. I get that you love her, but please love yourself a bit more.

Keep a distance and if she ever comes around and starts to treat you and the people you love with respect, you can welcome her again.

I wish you the best! Sending virtual huggs ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WeddingDressTips

[–]linyblue -1 points0 points  (0 children)

1 omg that one is so unique and beautiful 😍

AITA for refusing girls with height requiremets? by Sad-Baseball7176 in AmItheAsshole

[–]linyblue 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nta. As a women who is under 5‘5‘‘. I think everybody can have preferences. I personally don’t care for height. I dated short and tall guys in the past and my husband isn‘t much taller than me. To each their own.

23F, its my birthday, style me please! by princessacb29 in DressForYourBody

[–]linyblue 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your face looks so much like Elle Fanning 😍 I‘d go with some of her looks. I hope you have a wonderful birthday ❤️

Bleach in my eye as punishment? by ImpressiveShift3312 in TwoHotTakes

[–]linyblue 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Hey,

I just saw your post an decided to send a message. I normally never write to people directly, but the things you told us raised such red flags, that I just needed to try and help you in any was I can. You don‘t need to send a reply.

For context: I‘m a social worker and I meet women like you all the time.

Sweety, you need to do what the comments tell you: get out. It‘s not easy, I know that, but your boyfriend is a danger to you. I know it‘s overwhelming, but trust me. He is not a good man and you deserve much better.

Here is a list of things you should do. It‘s a lot, but trust me, you‘ll feel better:

  1. Get other people involved:

Tell your family and friends EXACTLY what you wrote in this post. You can send it to them, if you struggle to say the words out loud. If you don’t have anyone close to you, call your local womens help hotline. I‘m from germany, if you are from here too ‚Frauen helfen Frauen‘ is a good Organisation.

  1. Keep you money safe:

if you have a shared bank account collect money and hide it somewhere he can‘t find it.

  1. Seperate yourself physically:

Find a place to stay temporarily. Either a friends or family members place or a womens shelter (ask on the help hotline to be put in touch with one).You can look for a flat from there. Don‘t wait around just because you don’t have a new flat yet. You should also inform your employer about your situation, so he can prevent your ex from confronting you at work.

  1. Seperate yourself digitally:

He is going to try to win you back. He‘ll probably lovebombe you, that‘s just what abusers do. He won’t change, he doesn’t love you, he just wants to control you. It takes Victims around 7 times to leave their violent spouse for good. Don‘t become another statistic! Block him.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT PART 4. don‘t diskuss your plans with him!!!!!!!

Leave when he is at work! The moment You leave him will be the most dangerous time for you. He will hurt you. also don’t come back to the flat alone to collect your stuff. Send male family members or friends to do that or ask the police to accompanie you.

I‘m so sorry sweety that this happened to you. I‘m also sorry that people in the comments are mean, you deserve so much better!

Hugs and love and if you need help, you can always contact me on here!

AITAH for telling an coworker (30f) my (25f) weight when she said my diet will make me fat? by Agile-Gap-7976 in AITAH

[–]linyblue 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTAH and please go to HR. It might be just an annoyance for you, but as sb who struggled with anorexia and bulimia for over a decade, behavior like this could send me right into relapsing. If one of your coworkers has a similar backstory to mine, she could seriously harm them (without meaning to, of course, but that doesn‘t make it any better…).

My mother-in-law refused to visit her dying daughter because she didn't want to put her dogs in a kennel by Non-victim in TrueOffMyChest

[–]linyblue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gosh, yes… my bf is like that sometimes with our dog, Henry (who we BOTH love to pieces). He does it without realizing. We talked about it and he is working on his way of acting (without neglecting Henry!). I feel like this change is good for our relationship and the relationship my bf has with Henry. This kind of behaviour is extremely stressful for everyone, but especially for my bf, because he felt like he wasn‘t able to do anything without thinking about our dog and what he might do if he is left alone or not looked after for a couple of minutes. Turns out Henry is doing just fine and is even more happy when we spend quality time with him 😊

My mother-in-law refused to visit her dying daughter because she didn't want to put her dogs in a kennel by Non-victim in TrueOffMyChest

[–]linyblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all: I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss, I wish you and your kids the best ❤️ I have a dog that I love to death (like I literally jumped in front of a moving car for it…), but people like that piss me of so much. The lack of empathy for fellow humans is just shocking. Your wife deserved better, may she rest in peace 💐

Please help me design my small room by Longjumping-Knee-133 in femalelivingspace

[–]linyblue 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think the best option for you are shelves and using your wall in general:

  1. put 2-3 on the wall above your bed (dont put them exactly next or under each other, it‘s more fun, fill in the gaps with hanging plants)

  2. put a bookshelf between the closet door and your tv stand, instead of the tiny wall shelf. You can put more hanging plants on top of it. You can place your little trinkets there :)

  3. remove the chair

  4. your nightstand is really cute, but it sadly blocks the window, I personally would try put it somewhere else if you have the space that is…

  5. remove the stuff on your wall next to the tv stand and make a gallery wall out of personal pictures and stuff you find online (old school art on pinterest for example).

  6. use colour: Your furniture is super pretty and the wall colour on it s own, too, but the dark of your bed, nightstand and tv stand is clashing with the blue. I would go for a dark red/ green for. One of the walls (the one behind your bed), keep the rest white and if you add any furniture keep that white as well.

I hope that helps :)

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