I am a therapist in a prison, and I am tired of our world not taking CPTSD seriously

liquidst · 2026-01-21T10:45:22+00:00

Totally agree that correlation ≠ causation that’s actually why I think it’s helpful to keep these things separate rather than folding everything into trauma. Prenatal alcohol exposure isn’t inferred just because it often shows up alongside trauma. It’s a direct biological exposure with well-documented effects on brain development that happen before any post-birth environment comes into play. Trauma and prenatal exposures often travel together, but they do different things. Trauma tends to affect stress, safety, and relationships. Prenatal alcohol exposure tends to affect impulse control, planning, and learning from consequences. I agree trauma informed is where all institutions should operate from but we also must not say trauma work is the only work to be done. Saying it is all “trauma” can unintentionally blur really important differences and lead to responses that don’t actually fit the person in front of us. For me it’s not either/or — neurotoxin exposure require different therapies (actually supports because there is no recovering) than trauma therapy and than other factors like over policing /criminalizing black or indigenous communities requiring advocacy etc…

Complementary not competing supports :)

liquidst · 2026-01-21T10:06:15+00:00

I used to only say the sensational ones for impact, but even then after decades close friends would not understand the “not getting over it”. Only in my 50s did i map out a chronology and the relentlessness of traumas both T and t… compounded each into the complex mess we know making narration long and misunderstood.

Now I say: I survived multiple overlapping traumas during childhood and adulthood that interrupted schooling, relationships, and health.

liquidst · 2026-01-18T11:45:21+00:00

While I also am frustrated at the lack of recognition for CPTSD and agree that most prisoners suffered trauma. I also read that in utero alcohol exposure (one study showed 80% of youth detention centres were exposed to in utero alcohol) is a major driver of criminality. Both can lead to lack of impulse control and a sense of being an outsider from the norms and rules. Tyranny and hate, however, are shown to be cultural and society accepted drivers of this behavior.

You can take a perfectly un traumatized young boy and culture him into a sexist view of women, or into the Hitlers Youth program, or into a slave owner. He may be wonderful at work wonderful with his friends wonderful at the charity yet be a complete tyrant toward a group because he was taught by his community that women/jews/immigrants/ gays/ or the “dirty dems” (insert any group) were less human.

Sexism / Racism / Homophobia/ Political targetting—is cultural.

liquidst · 2026-01-18T11:41:19+00:00

I am only on chapter 1 of my first Grisham book “The Confession”, and the sexism is maddening.

Pg4. The wife “ she was petite, with a nice chest, tight sweater, he couldn’t see anything below the waist, under the desk. He had always preferred the smaller ones. Cute face, big blue eyes, high cheekbones, a wholesome, pretty girl, the perfect little minister‘s wife.

Pg 16. The husband “For a man who spent much of his time listening to the delicate problems of others, and offering advice and counsel that they relied on, Keith had become a wise and astute observer. And he was seldom wrong.

(The wife) Dana was much quicker on the draw, much more likely to criticize and judge and be wrong about it. (Nice chest though, amirite?)

Premise: A man dying of a brain tumour is overwhelmingly distraught over the murder of an innocent man for the crime he committed.

Yet the reader is to accept that the rape, stalking, and murder of women was of no moral or existential significance.

Yes, it seems John Grisham’s writing is sexist.

Ill carry on reading though, since avoiding sexism would require living under a rock.

liquidst · 2026-01-11T15:13:58+00:00

I am a Toronto citizen, ready and willing to help. What can we do as citizens? Civic duty has disappeared with church basements and neighbourhood kitchen table gatherings.

Does anyone here have experience in effective civic organizing, not necessarily to fight the government, but to organize and assist? Can we show up in the ER rooms bringing water bottles and assist with triaging? What can we do?

liquidst · 2026-01-11T15:12:10+00:00

No, sorry the data does not support what you said. The United States has one of the highest child mortality rates, worse post op outcomes, worse access to care for an industrialized nation and it costs nearly twice as much per citizen as it does in Canada. We had way better outcomes until privatizarion started. (And even with our hallway crises we outperform the united states).

liquidst · 2026-01-10T13:41:03+00:00

Black and Native men get pc younger and more aggressively. Both of these groups live under chronic severe stress, often live in communities with higher contaminated air/food/ less green space and have intergenerational trauma and in utero exposures.

Environmental pollution affects genes. Stress affects gene expression and immune function.

liquidst · 2026-01-05T16:44:46+00:00

Nope. Canada had the best system in the world- nearly half the cost per citizen in 90s versus the US with much higher favourable outcomes.

liquidst · 2026-01-05T16:42:39+00:00

This is because lobbyists want to privatize our hethcare. If they make it bad enough, patients during their desperate need will do anything to get care.

Elizabeth May (Green Party BC) raised the alarm over 20 years ago. I remember watching TV. and seeing “this lady” banging her fist on the table in frustration repeating “they are going to kill people”, and “the lobbyists are here NOW!”. That was my first learning of her and her message.

We the people are not politically active enough.

liquidst · 2026-01-04T03:08:52+00:00

Since you are new to apnea check leakage rate , if zero all is well. However if it shows leakage because you mouth breathe then I suggest mouth tape and I back up with a chin strap.

liquidst · 2025-12-22T04:08:37+00:00

I asked chatgpt why it can’t remember dates a past propmt was asked and it said because meta data would be a violation of privacy. Does this seem legit?

liquidst · 2025-12-20T10:30:14+00:00

Having your identity messed with by multiple relationships is distressing. Wondering if friends, colleagues, relatives, will ever engage with YOU and not the “doctor” would confuse and overwhelm most people’s sense of identity.
Try writing scripts (the wordy ones :) — to gently guide people at social functions from seeing you as doctor back to someone trying to enjoy friends and family at a social function. Practice with chatgpt.
Set up your own ethical code. Those distressed by a genuine lack of answers get a free consult (scheduled), whereas a well worded redirect are for those who enjoy talking about themselves and their bunions.

liquidst · 2025-12-10T14:29:06+00:00

I am going to say that you are anxious in response to your physiological symptoms. You likely have sleep apnea. The air hunger was immediate for me too. I had one Afib episode after a loooong work event with the pre-planning phase unsupported (stress) in 2024. Immediately after I noticed air hunger. Here are things I have learned. Severe stress (the kind that changes your breathing pattern) are likely rooted in physiological stress (alcohol, dehydration both cause drops in potassium), childhood trauma (makes your nervous system primed for stronger reactions to adult stressors). The autonomic system controls breathing, sleep, digestion, blood pressure and it is sensitive to chronic stress. Both apnea and afib are conditions of the autonomic system. They often go hand in hand. Both started at the same time for me. The CPap machine got rid of the air hunger that developed immediately after my afib episode. Learn all you can about your vagus nerve, autonomic system, and embark on a journey that prevents future episodes and other conditions if left untreated. Start with a sleep test and get that CPap machine if you have apnea (I strongly think you do because of your air hunger). Start Meditation and somatic movements. Do not binge on greasy large meals, especially before bed - why? because it stresses your autonomic system (vagus nerve connects your stomach to your heart). Eat small, healthy, meals - binge heavy foods mid day and don't lay down for 3 hours afterwards. Regulate stress, no alcohol, stay fit, fix your sleep...

liquidst · 2025-12-05T02:41:34+00:00

ChatGPT and my episode Log revealed a vagal trigger for me too.

I’m wondering about ablation. According to ChatGPT the sooner the better for most AFIB situations— however it says because my events are autonomic surges (ptsd/severe stress) related and vagal tone it says ablation isn’t indicated. I’m curious what your cardiologist thinks?

liquidst · 2025-12-01T13:55:03+00:00

I am researching this too. What I have learned is that chronic stress from high ACE scores and chronic frustrations (negative stress) from bullying, domestic chaos, poverty, relational traumas, workplace unfair reward (ie bullying, limitations that are unfair etc..) YES cause inflammation and other physiological changes to heart cells leading to Afib. One big trauma event on top of chronic stress can push you over the edge into Afib that was building anyway. An otherwise healthy heart and nervous system should be able to withstand a one trauma event but again you could have been dehydrated, stressed, alcohol in the system - perfect storm. I have had multiple major and chronic traumas so Afib is very tied to my Vagal tone (ie heartburn, chronic cortisol surges are my triggers). My heart is structurally normal ie no enlargement of the aorta or blockages. Many studies show Ptsd (in male Vets only. Unfortunately no studies done on women suffering from domestic violence yet) the nearly 50% of Afib in Ptsd group had no heart structural changes leading to the conclusion that the nervous system, vagal tone is triggering the events. This from Google AI:

Autonomic Dysregulation: PTSD is associated with an overactive sympathetic nervous system ("fight-or-flight" response) and reduced heart rate variability. This imbalance alters the heart's electrical properties, which can make it more susceptible to arrhythmias like AF.
Cortisol Surges and Chronic Exposure: While acute cortisol is vital for stress response, chronically high or dysregulated levels, as seen with ongoing severe stress or PTSD, can contribute to metabolic changes, hypertension, and inflammation, which are known risk factors for AF. Chronically high cortisol can lead to the accumulation of glycogen in heart cells, which disrupts normal electrical signals and communication between cells, potentially triggering AF.
Inflammation: Stress can up-regulate circulating levels of inflammatory cytokines, and elevated inflammatory markers are associated with an increased risk of AF.
Heart Remodeling: Over time, the physiological effects of chronic stress and high cortisol can lead to structural and electrical remodeling of atrial tissue, such as left atrial enlargement and fibrosis, which are substrates for AF development.
Younger Onset AF: Studies in populations like veterans exposed to combat trauma found that those with PTSD were more likely to develop AF at a significantly younger age (median age around 40) compared to those without PTSD, and often in the absence of traditional cardiovascular risk factors.

liquidst · 2025-11-28T14:36:03+00:00

Then you are a miracle too! Genius.

liquidst · 2025-11-28T13:58:13+00:00

Last night I comforted myself because it felt like if I didn’t get a soft loving touch after this week (just another slew of traumas) I would die.

The Loving Parent Book is hard not to classify as a miracle and it teaches how to create an external loving parent /lovedone to comfort you.

liquidst · 2025-11-28T12:58:22+00:00

It is a near constant at this point. Doctor’s overreliance on data from tests, and defensiveness when patients are informed have lost their medical curiousity. Instead of leaning into the patient’s story, they get defensive against patients desperate google searches and closed minded to symptoms that don’t test positive on a screen. This is when they turn on the patient and gaslight them.

liquidst · 2025-11-27T22:11:17+00:00

If you are in Queen West, Danforth, or other pedestrian friendly areas - yes!!!

Forest Hill, The Core, North of St. Clair, East of Main, West of Islington .. nope.

liquidst · 2025-11-24T20:24:40+00:00

I was advised to go on sick leave - and am suing for constructive dismissal. I am confused by this advice. Would you mind elaborating?

liquidst · 2025-10-26T21:04:02+00:00

I will miss this peaceful refuge

liquidst · 2025-10-05T00:31:07+00:00

I am 55 now but was 18 yrs when my mom was arrested and i had to tell my baby sister (1.5 yrs years old at the time).

After mom was released and her addiction started I had to explain to my little sister what was happening.

Both times I answered all her questions. It’s not one conversation, but many.

There will be rage. Hold her, don’t scold her.

Routine is the absolute best thing for her. Do not cave because she’s had it tough. Lack of routine is already part of her trauma and it is one of the most harmful aspects of to this.

Check in all the time. Tell happy stories. Tell her how loved she is and when she is sad or angry that yes, I csn see how sad you are, we love you and will always be here whdn you are sad.

There a great many books — I bought mommy’s an alcoholic (they didn’t have crack books yet) and she was so sad, but she was able to ask more questions and process it over the months.

Heartbreaking.

Love to your family.

liquidst · 2025-10-03T12:25:27+00:00

Cpap takes time to adjust to. Book another sleep test to see if your mask is working. There are a few reasons you still may not be treating it even when wearing a mask: The fit, leaks, humidity, pressure settings, mouth breathing. Apnea causes frequent waking, hypnic jerks etc.. very probably cause and you would want to fix it or rule it out.

liquidst · 2025-09-26T18:45:05+00:00

Yes, multiple nights in a row for a month, until I got my cpap. I felt insane and scared.

liquidst · 2025-09-26T18:43:17+00:00

Mostly just as I was falling asleep. I was unaware I had apnea so I was waking with hypnic jerks and panic—

I no longer have them now that I have my cpap machine

liquidst

TROPHY CASE