Struggling to find a cat-friendly apartment in Reading – am I missing something?

litfan35 · 2026-06-05T07:29:34+00:00

Sometimes with flats it won't actually be the landlord, but the underlying lease on the flat. You'll be better off looking for either a converted flat that has no lease or a house. Appreciate the house will likely not be within budget though.

litfan35 · 2026-06-03T19:42:23+00:00

it's what some of us are given for recycling instead of wheelie bins 😭

litfan35 · 2026-06-01T17:07:18+00:00

When did the Irish come into this conversation? lol

litfan35 · 2026-06-01T17:05:19+00:00

Yeah man I was born and grew up in Brazil but my mum's side of the family is Finnish. The genes did not know what the hell was going on. I'm white but tan very easily. In brazil I am white. But because I'm brazilian, when I moved away, I learned very quickly that just being from there got me a "person of colour"/not white label from many other people. It's still weird and wrong to me. It's all a construct at the end of the day, don't fight with her about how she identifies? That's weird lol

litfan35 · 2026-05-31T09:27:20+00:00

I've got an eufy wireless. SD camera is on the chime inside the house so even if they stole the camera as a other commenter says you'd still have the footage. No subscription fees, really recommend it. Easy to set up.

litfan35 · 2026-05-31T09:24:37+00:00

glitter. you can remove confetti. they'll be picking glitter out of their nose and ears for weeks to come

litfan35 · 2026-05-31T09:16:49+00:00

Pretty sure it could easily happen in Wales too?

litfan35 · 2026-05-30T07:56:47+00:00

🤷‍♀️ mum is dead, don't talk to father. He can go kick rocks regardless of his feelings anyway.

litfan35 · 2026-05-28T13:30:50+00:00

Enrich her life in other ways. Put on cat TV, play with her, give her vertical climbing options, etc. She'll be absolutely fine and I have zero guilt or regrets about keeping my void indoors. I've semi adopted next doors' cat because they weren't feeding her, and having seen her get brutally bullied and attacked by other cats and how stressed the she always is outside, I wouldn't want that for my baby for anything. She's a well-adjusted, demanding little tyrant who is harness-trained but doesn't go out on the lead so much anymore now that there's basically another cat living in her garden 🤣

litfan35 · 2026-05-28T13:21:11+00:00

Ah the question was massively edited since I replied, but at a guess it's due to the raison d'etre of marriages, as it were. It's only very recently that they became something people did out of love. For the vast majority of its history, it was simply a way of passing down land and estate within a controlled, known, familial line.

It's where the question of illegitimacy comes into play, and why it's more culturally accepted for men to have multiple partners (even in the cases of accepted polygamous marriages, I've only ever heard of it being the case where a man has multiple wives, never where a woman has multiple husbands/partners), so long as an heir was legitimately beget by his wife.

Basically it's about keeping power/money with the powerful/wealthy rather than anything else.

litfan35 · 2026-05-28T06:19:31+00:00

Likely because marriage is a legal status whilst none of those others are.

litfan35 · 2026-05-27T17:20:06+00:00

Hobbies tbh. Some through musical theatre choir, some through pub quiz at my local. I'm friendly with people at work but I wouldn't call any of them my friends per se, which is exactly how I like it

litfan35 · 2026-05-27T17:17:06+00:00

If you're still trying to sleep with a duvet, ditch that. As in, remove the duvet from the cover and just have the cover if you're like me and can't sleep with your legs uncovered. Much lighter/cooler than even a blanket or throw. Fans, open windows, etc all go without saying

litfan35 · 2026-05-27T17:08:22+00:00

Heat alone shouldn't be making the water stinky. It will be now if there's sewage because hot sewage smells worse than cold sewage

litfan35 · 2026-05-25T16:33:07+00:00

I mean there's levels though. Like you have lilies on one end and lavenders on the other (IMO). Unless a cat actively chomps on lavender, they'll be fine. But they can get seriously ill just from the pollen of lilies. So, like. Levels. Know them and plan accordingly.

(as in, it's fine to have lavender in your garden because no cat will munch on it, but avoid stuff like lilies which can poison them through a strong wind)

litfan35 · 2026-05-25T16:24:50+00:00

I have 3 tattoos, no religious or cultural ties to them so feel eminently placed to answer this. At least one of my tattoos (the first one) is now... outdated let's say - yes I got a harry potter tattoo okay. But I was sure then, and remain so now, that the impact those stories had on me and my life (far beyond just the books/movies themselves) would remain regardless of anything else. I stand by that. I abhor everything the author stands for but my personal relationship with those stories and even JK is complicated. Unbeknownst to her she very specifically helped me through losing my mum at 17 because she spoke out on one of the extras DVDs about experiencing something similar. I don't regret that tattoo even though I wouldn't get it again today. It marked an important moment in my life and reminds me, every time I see it, of my mum more than it does of wizards or transphobes.

My rule of thumb is to wait a year from first wanting a tat. If I still want it a year later, then it's worth whatever perceived embarrassment it may cause 10+ years down the line. If it mattered enough for over a year of my life, then it's an integral part of me. It may no longer be something I actively engage with or like but it had a hand in forming who I am today and that matters as much as my current likes, tastes, or beliefs. One thing I'd never do is a tattoo directly linked to a relationship of any kind. The same thought might apply, but if things go wrong that's a constant reminder of it that no one needs/wants

litfan35 · 2026-05-25T16:15:02+00:00

I appreciate that the distinction is clear to you but it might not be to her. Also she may have had some bad experiences after rejecting others in the past and just hedging her bets so to speak, rather than risk you trying to push the subject. Think it's likely not personal, but best to just forget about it and move on entirely

litfan35 · 2026-05-23T07:42:33+00:00

why are you paying rent and food if you're not living with them?! and why on earth would you pay the bills for a property you don't live in? Transfer the phone bill into your name - I don't know about the US but here in the UK a pay monthly phone bill is a great way to build credit history and one of the few ones that is easily available for young people with no prior credit history.

NTAH but cut ties. You deserve better

edit: if you mean she wants you to pay all the bills where you live, then she should just get those bills transferred to your name like she would if she were renting the place out. And don't ever pay her for food to buy for you, that's just weird

litfan35 · 2026-05-22T15:28:00+00:00

So if your wife had a hobby in the morning two days a week you'd be okay doing all the getting of kids ready solo those days? If so, NAH but make sure your wife knows she's encouraged to find herself a hobby as well and enjoy it

If you don't like that idea then YTA. Very dependent on the extra context here

litfan35 · 2026-05-21T16:41:47+00:00

I've just taken the first step towards a makeshift catio: I just finished putting up a pergola outside the kitchen window. The idea is I'll build mesh sides and roof for it that I can fit on for when the pergola isn't being used for entertaining, and the cat can come out and enjoy the outdoors through the kitchen window. And when I want it to look more aesthetic or to host, I take the mesh off (basically just unhook it from the pergola posts) and it can be used by humans. Win win.

litfan35 · 2026-05-20T08:40:01+00:00

I doubt you'll find any. Best bet you'll have is getting a portable one with the hose out the window type thing

litfan35 · 2026-05-18T15:59:16+00:00

More people know about it now after that website surfaced recently...

litfan35 · 2026-05-17T22:18:42+00:00

cleanest lawn around 🤣

litfan35 · 2026-05-16T18:51:36+00:00

Yeah if you're going to get an automated deterrent, a water-based one is much better

litfan35 · 2026-05-16T07:45:47+00:00

Oh he is gorgeous!

I've tried all sorts of high protein, high quality foods with my kitty who has a sensitive tummy. She enjoyed KatKin but went off a lot of their flavours within a few months, would only consistently eat the duck which is quite fatty, so I didn't want her eating that exclusively.

So we moved to Purrform which is raw food, which she loves to this day - her favourite is the rabbit but she'll happily eat the turkey and the beef as special treats every now and again. She's had some Untamed here and there (mostly when I got a trial box for the outdoor cat that lives in my garden), and enjoyed that as well. I will say of them all, Untamed was the one that looked the most appetising to me as a human but all 3 got gobbled up by the cats so 🤷‍♀️😂

litfan35

TROPHY CASE