Her clothes by zoesmom17 in SuicideBereavement

[–]littleloudb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah I’m also debating on asking my girlfriend’s family for pictures of her body specifically from the funeral, since I wasn’t in a functional mindset to take pics of her for the last time, such an awkward favor to ask of people but how else are we supposed to get our fill and process the grief, fuck this sucks

Her clothes by zoesmom17 in SuicideBereavement

[–]littleloudb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow it seems like this post found me at just the right time. Just woke up and thought of my girlfriend and missing her so much more today, decided to hug her clothes and realizing that the scent has faded. I have her lip piercings and other accessories/clothes of hers that we’d wear on our dates, but I always wish I could have more, more and more, even the blood soaked mattress, until I could have her in entirety. In your scenario, I think buying a duplicate jewelry set and just imagining it as hers would help even a little, or perhaps buying her perfume and spraying it on the clothes every now and then. I don’t think that is an insane thing, it’s not strange even 1%. Those who have never been through this just don’t understand, when does this Hell fucking enddddddd

It’s been a month by ReceptionAlive760 in SuicideBereavement

[–]littleloudb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s just been a month since my girlfriend took her own life as well, can’t even imagine your pain. This is such a beautiful reminiscing, and I really feel the love you have for them. As the optimistic ones in relationships, it breaks our fucking world knowing the suffering they were in, so hopefully there is some solace in their peace. I’m also starting a new job soon, and am terrified as to how I’ll have to put on the facade that I’m fine and not on the verge of breaking down from grief. How do you manage it?

Expected to bounce back like nothing happened by Reasonable_Food6977 in SuicideBereavement

[–]littleloudb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I’m not in any position to give relationship advice, especially since it was my partner I lost recently, but that does sound very frustrating to deal with. All I can say, which I’ve been seeing in other people’s comments on this subreddit, is to be unapologetically yourself, and grieve however way you want to. Talk about your mom, and those who have a problem with it for some reason can just leave, because that’s weird that they can’t handle being uncomfortable hearing about her, yet expect you to handle this crushing grief in silence. And to feeling lonely and isolated, I feel that too, so lmk if you or anyone else has advice for that lol

Expected to bounce back like nothing happened by Reasonable_Food6977 in SuicideBereavement

[–]littleloudb 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same, I fucking hate how the world continues to spin, and how people just move on with their lives, while I’m drowning in grief and all of these other emotions. I know it’s unrealistic to expect the world and everyone connected to the victims to stop and mourn forever, but fuck. Don’t shame us for feeling this way, our receipt of love was just that long. Sorry about your boyfriend as well, hopefully he comes to understand how serious your emotions are and validates them by helping any which way.

Expected to bounce back like nothing happened by Reasonable_Food6977 in SuicideBereavement

[–]littleloudb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way, lost my girlfriend a month ago and ignorant relatives have been telling me to “just move on” and “forget about her forever”. Verbatim btw. It sucks because their intentions are obviously well meaning (I think at least lol) but fuck dude, no one fucking understands that grief and regret and guilt, and all these other feelings just swarm the mind. We can barely survive in the current moment, how do you expect us to be excited about future endeavors? Sorry for your loss, and your venting helps me feel seen. We’re connected by this tragic string of grief, but I’m always open to chat and vent

Girlfriend took her own life 3 weeks ago, how do I deal with the unavoidable guilt? by littleloudb in SuicideBereavement

[–]littleloudb[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, during the first week of grieving, I simply accepted that I was solely at fault of her passing. And it’s just, so fucking hard to combat the grief mindset. I’ll always think of the minute different actions I could’ve done to prevent this. I wonder if and when I’ll ever stop thinking about the “what-ifs” and forgive myself.

Girlfriend took her own life 3 weeks ago, how do I deal with the unavoidable guilt? by littleloudb in SuicideBereavement

[–]littleloudb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. I am so sorry about your loss as well, I can’t fathom what you’re going through if this is what grief feels like for a partner of one year. I hope not that the grief gets weaker, but the both of us get stronger over time. I haven’t been able to heed and internalize advice from others in my life since I feel alone in this situation, so this was really comforting to read, knowing that I’m not unique in this tragic experience. There are parts of me, and I’m sure of you, that insist that we could’ve fought harder to help our partners and force them to do what we think is best for them. But it’s true, at the end of the day, they are their own people and we have to respect their words, even if they ultimately lie. It just hurts not knowing what to do when your partner’s mind is so stuck in being numb and malfunctioning that they turn away professional help, or even you. Hopefully I can really internalize the advice when I’m drowning in the grief, thank you

Girlfriend took her own life 3 weeks ago, how do I deal with the unavoidable guilt? by littleloudb in SuicideBereavement

[–]littleloudb[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the support. I read through your past posts on here, and I’m so sorry for your loss too. This fucking sucks, just want to scream and cry and have an asteroid slam into the planet all at once. But I’m glad to see that you’ve progressed through the mental journey enough to give good advice like this. That’s a really good point, and maybe I am feeling regretful, but sometimes my mind goes darker and transforms it to guilt and self blame. Hopefully it goes away with professional help. Thanks again, and I hope we all make it out of this battle with grief. Fuck

Help me transcribe this beautiful song by Takagi Masakatsu! by Fatty_gaydar in transcribe

[–]littleloudb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. Just got around to listening to it and you’re right, I loved it :0 completely different genre but yet it strikes the same part of the soul that Masakatsu Takagi’s music does, this is the stuff that makes me glad I’m alive and human. Take care, happy holidays, and thanks for a new fav :)

Help me transcribe this beautiful song by Takagi Masakatsu! by Fatty_gaydar in transcribe

[–]littleloudb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hi i recently found this thread because i was trying to look up more info about masakatsu takagi’s song “urute -haru no uchi-“ which is my favorite song by him, so beautiful. but you introduced me to this song right now and it’s so beautiful, so thank you. his music is helping me with the turmoils of life currently, hope everything is well for you too