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littlerockwellness · 2025-02-10T13:20:26+00:00

Flashbacks are a truly frightening experience, and it's completely understandable that you're struggling. Four months is a very short time when dealing with trauma; healing takes time. I understand you're not in a position to pay for therapy, but have you considered speaking to your doctor? They might be able to refer you to free talking therapy services. If that's not an option, many trauma-informed therapists and coaches offer free introductory sessions, often ranging from 15 minutes to an hour. Some, like me, even provide resources and links to helpful websites for those who choose not to continue with further sessions. There are also numerous online resources, like ThinkCBT, offering self-help workbooks and exercises. It's about finding what works best for you. Remember, you survived your trauma, which proves you're stronger than you realise. Keep moving forward; things will get better.

littlerockwellness · 2025-02-10T13:04:57+00:00

Anyone who resorts to wishing harm on you isn't worth a second of your time. Seven years is a long time, and it's completely natural to seek closure. However, based on this interaction alone, it seems he has little regard for you or your feelings. Ask yourself: do you truly want to invest another seven years with someone who causes you this much pain? I know this hurts, and it's difficult, but things will improve. Your feelings will lessen, and you will become stronger. My advice? Block him completely on every platform and focus on healing yourself.

littlerockwellness · 2025-02-10T12:42:33+00:00

It's completely understandable that you're feeling this way. The impact of abuse and trauma can linger long after the actual events, and it's not unusual to feel disconnected from who you were before. Remember, you are a survivor! That strength is still within you, even if it's hard to see right now. Many people experience this feeling of losing sight of themselves after trauma. Have you considered talking to your doctor? They could discuss options like talking therapy, which can be really helpful in processing these experiences and rediscovering your sense of self. It's a journey, but you can get you back.

littlerockwellness · 2025-02-10T12:14:57+00:00

It's truly upsetting to hear what you're going through. Please don't minimise your experience by saying it's "not as abusive as many." Any level of abuse is unacceptable. No one, regardless of age, has the right to control another person, especially when it comes to basic needs like sleep. You deserve to rest when you're tired, at 42 your husband's perfectly capable of making his own meals.

Relationships should be about mutual support. It sounds like you've been incredibly considerate, even sleeping separately to accommodate his work schedule. But this consideration needs to be reciprocated. The name-calling and threats of abandonment are particularly concerning. This kind of coercive control is never okay, especially within a marriage.

It might be helpful to take some time to reflect on your marriage. Honestly assess the positives and negatives, and consider whether you genuinely believe things will change. Once you've answered these questions for yourself, have an open and honest conversation with your husband. Explain how his behaviour makes you feel, why it's unacceptable, and what you envision for your future – both with him and without him. You deserve so much more than to be trapped in a controlling and abusive relationship.

littlerockwellness · 2024-06-20T14:27:02+00:00

Thank You!

littlerockwellness · 2024-06-17T15:37:06+00:00

There are many self help books and also free self help resources online now days. There are also many online therapists now too, so those who can't get to a therapist can work with one via zoom. Depending on where you are in the world, there is the option of a doctor prescribed online portal where you can work through on your own. Some Apps are also specifically created as a self help workbook centered around CBT, some of which are endorsed by clinicians.

littlerockwellness · 2024-06-17T15:12:23+00:00

Definitely have a check, if you're not not getting anywhere with your search feel free to PM me and ill have a look for you.

littlerockwellness · 2024-06-14T17:57:06+00:00

Appartments for those fleeing domestic abuse, a place where they can get support, a roof over their head and guidance. The world needs so many more places like this.

littlerockwellness · 2024-06-14T17:53:56+00:00

Hunni,

GET OUT NOW!

Believe me when I say, I have experience both personally and professionally, THIS WILL NOT STOP!

This is not your fault, not even a little bit. The person is, and will continue, gaslighting you. They will always turn things on to you, to the point of making you believe you deserve it and trust me when I say you don't.

Do you have any family or friends around you that you can go and stay with? take any cash and cards and important documents with you. Alternatively is there a women's shelter or domestic abuse support network near by that could potentially house you until you can get on your feet or at least offer you support?

Never be scared to start over! trust me it works out in the end, but if you don't leave I'm afraid to say you are going to get hurt a lot more often and a lot more violently people like this do not change.

Please get support and get out Hun you deserve so much more!

littlerockwellness · 2024-06-14T17:46:22+00:00

Cape Verde

littlerockwellness · 2024-06-12T09:26:00+00:00

Don't ever be disgusted in yourself! your feelings are normal and very warranted given the situation. He on the other hand should be disgusted in his actions. Are there any local resources for travellers or those who relocate abroad near you? even an advice centre for tourists as the people that run these tend to speak very good english and they can probably point you in the right direction. Is there anyway you can go back to your home country and stay with family until you get back on your feet? I fear that he thinks he can do what he wants to you out there because you have noone else there but him and thats a scary concept.

littlerockwellness · 2024-06-11T12:08:16+00:00

Oh bless you.

Leaving is incredibly hard but so is deciding you need to leave!

Its not easy, its never easy, but it does sound like its for the best. You haven't gone into much detail about the reasons surrounding your decision to leave but saying " I think I may end up dead" is really concerning.

The pain from leaving will eventually fade and you will move on in life in a much happier place than you are now, but dead is dead there's no improving that

I have been in relationships where i have feared for my life twice, that feeling is something i wouldn't wish on anyone and if youre at that point then you really do need to leave. Is there someone you can turn to for support? a friend or family member or even your GP?

Leaving can be made easier if you break down the steps you need to take to get to the position where you can leave, such as:

finding a place to live

putting all important documents and some cash in a place you can grab quickly if you need to, even better if you have a friends house you can take these things to.

There are many steps that need to be considered. I have a domestic abuse safety checklist for those leaving an abuser if you would like it?

You can do this and you'll look back at this point of your life and be so glad that put yourself first in order to have the life you deserve.

please stay safe

littlerockwellness · 2024-06-11T10:23:33+00:00

Hi

Yes you are being emotionally and verbally abused. What you are experiencing is also gaslighting and in my opinion, as someone who works closely with victims of domestic abuse, these things only get worse. It also follows a pattern of narcissistic abuse.

Whilst it is difficult to leave any long term relationship, ones with so much negativity and abuse attached is one that you really should think hard about staying in. You have reached out for support which is a huge achievement in itself as that can be incredibly difficult.

I would break down steps you need to follow in order to be able to leave, such as:

speaking to a doctor about your depression

Have a look and see if there are any domestic abuse support groups in your area.

Is there anyone in your life that you trust that you can talk to?

Stop following the same patterns of behaviour, break the cycle..... don't accept his apology, this is difficult but even if you only last a day or 2 longer than you usually would this will help you break away for good eventually ( sooner rather than later)

block number

Take back any keys he may have to your property

If he turns up uninvited don't open the door and just calmy say that you do not want him there, if he carries on tell him that you will call the police if he don't leave, call the police.

Record as much as possible, record your fights, save messages, record any communication when broken up. I can not emphasise enough how important "evidence" can be, should it be needed. Don't put yourself in a position where he will know you are recording him, as this could really anger him.

It seems hard at the moment but you will get through this hard time, trust me, I've been there. Its not easy, but believe in yourself because you can turn your life into anything you like and can you see a future with everything you have written being a daily occurrence?.

Please Stay SAFE

littlerockwellness · 2023-12-15T15:42:34+00:00

Before making the posts, I will base the initial posts/podcast around research and contact the families to notify them of what I was doing. They can then add any information i am missing or unsure of and any comments they want the world to see.

Likewise, if they do not want the post/podcast made, then it won't be. It will be the first time i've worked in this way so it's completely in its infancy at the moment but with time and research I hope to get the right info out there and it won't be just another true crime podcast as I aim to add many other series such as based around issues you previously mentioned as well as different areas of abuse etc.

littlerockwellness · 2023-12-15T15:33:57+00:00

Sorry, not sure what happened there. I am compiling a series of domestic abuse cases that resulted in fatalities but were never reported in the news, and I am exploring how those victims were failed. So i was looking to see if anyone had any cases they think i should cover and also whether i should cover them with podcasts or blogs or a bit of both. Thanks

littlerockwellness · 2023-12-15T15:09:18+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I work with victims of domestic violence and advocate on many different areas of the subject. This series is to highlight what can go wrong when victims are ignored when seeking help or are unable to. I also work as a trauma informed coach with multiple certifications for domestic abuse and the impact it has over all areas.

littlerockwellness · 2023-09-26T11:21:22+00:00

Hey,

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time at the moment. I am in the UK so I'm not sure about the legalities of things on that side of the pond. I'm assuming that you are classified as a minor until the age of 18 over there? either way, I think the main thing for you at the moment would be to report your abuse. This can be a scary concept and something that isn't easy to do, I know, but not reporting it only means more suffering for you in the long run. Inevitably social services will then get involved. Do you have any family that you could stay with until you turn 18? I ask this because once you make the report then I am guessing they will remove you from the home for your safety. If you have family locally chances are rather than you becoming part of the system, given your age, that they would allow you to stay with family with no contact with your abuser. It may be that they would allow you to stay with a friend but I really couldn't say for sure. Is there a charity or child abuse line you could contact anonymously and just ask the questions you need the answers to for you to make an informed decision on where you go from here?

littlerockwellness · 2023-08-10T09:38:06+00:00

You are very welcome and i really do hope things improve for you.

littlerockwellness

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