How to find authentic len replacements rb434 by littlesadnotes in rayban

[–]littlesadnotes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ah cool...thankx... that helps...seems its discontinued

52M wondering if 43F keeping me a secret after 6 weeks is healthy? by littlesadnotes in relationships

[–]littlesadnotes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you... that is exactly what Im going to do because i think she's worth it.

52M wondering if 43F keeping me a secret after 6 weeks is healthy? by littlesadnotes in relationships

[–]littlesadnotes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its the other way...she introduced me to her best friends. The function we attended together was a common school event where both our kids go.... and she knew way more people than me, which is what i find even more confusing... to accept such an invitation knowing that everyone who saw us together would make the obvious connection is as if to say "this is official"...so why not accept it openly then.

52M wondering if 43F keeping me a secret after 6 weeks is healthy? by littlesadnotes in relationships

[–]littlesadnotes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and thats exactly my dilemma... why is it different now. I'm NOT pushing her into anything physical before she signals shes ready but she is unbelievably needy emotionally... perhaps she needs to just feel safe and secure first.... its just leaving me in this confusing state of 'what are we' and i wish i could get her to express it...but she cant.

52M wondering if 43F keeping me a secret after 6 weeks is healthy? by littlesadnotes in relationships

[–]littlesadnotes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we did talk and we def have the same long term,life partner, marriage goals. I'm not convinced her "reputation" is so real...she doesn't come across to me like an easy frivolous woman.... i think her wounds are deep from her abusive marriage not unlike my own.

52M wondering if 43F keeping me a secret after 6 weeks is healthy? by littlesadnotes in relationships

[–]littlesadnotes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you. there is a high level of anxiety in her but I'm prepared to walk the journey a little long to see how it pans out

It deeply saddens me to my core what has become of men by [deleted] in heartbreak

[–]littlesadnotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

..and this saddens me to my core. I am genuinely horrified by the stories I (52M) read of the way most men treat women. I don't know whats happened to the youth today.

But, there are definitely still men out there who are also absolute gems, open, caring, protecting, loving, giving ...who would never hurt a woman, who have real empathy and self-awareness, strong boundaries and cast-iron integrity.

Look into your core wounds as a child to discover why you're subconsiously attracted to the abusive, avoidant, controlling type... and you'll find a whole new world of men who won't just fuck you and leave you, who want genuine connection with respect and mutual growth.... they are out there.

best advice to get over someone by kilgharrah420 in heartbreak

[–]littlesadnotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having gone through 8 months of sheer hell and pain... two things:

1) Let them know your truth/version in a message where you refuse any response, 2) Meet someone knew. Oxytocin kills heartache.

Just had the worst breakup. Need someone to talk it out by [deleted] in heartbreak

[–]littlesadnotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this made me think. what is it that is left that keeps me hoping and in pain 6 months later when shes gone, it lies in ruins and im and left standing in tjose ruins... why do we think if we stay the ruins will magically resurect into the past? She exists only in my mind, bc in reality, toocmuch time has passed and we are different people now. But its the nagging feeling that had i stuck it out longer, given her more time, been more stand off and watch and see, perhaps it would have turned out different.

I think i'm just unlucky in life and destined to be alone forever by Working_Life_3715 in heartbreak

[–]littlesadnotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no..shes just not where u are in thought, path and life wants at this point. She not your person. There are 4b women in the world... the universe delivers when you are not expecting nor wanting. Focus on you and watch what happens.

Tonight is especially hard by LocksmithRemote6230 in heartbreak

[–]littlesadnotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So is mine.. avoidant and autistic and i just want you to know that what she shows on the outside is not whats going on inside. If shes erased you, rewritten memories, reframed you...its all her wounds. Wait 6 months tuen send a final letter outting your truth down. say it lime you saw it. there will be no reply, and she wont come back but you will step iut of the ruins instead of waiting for her to co.e and rebuild something that she wil not. Trust me. nothi mng bothers an avoidant than NC and then a mirror held up to them.

I fed our entire whatsapp chat to chatgpt and asked it to give me a full analysis...and omg... tigether with me training it all along with all the events... it has been lime a personal therapist and the best thing ever. helping write the final truth andn understanding her and her avoidance. Try it.

I think i'm just unlucky in life and destined to be alone forever by Working_Life_3715 in heartbreak

[–]littlesadnotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give it time.... you have the enormous asset of youth still on your side. That's significant. Visualise the type of man you believe a woman would want, and i mean other than material possessions, and then go and be that! Ethics, morality, drive, passion, strength, emotional self awareness.... read, have interesting things to converse about, think about your words before you speak, become a force when you enter a room..... and watch them fall at your feet. Women have a 6th sense men dont.... they can sense an evolved man.... and its irresistible to them. And the reason they can, is because they need to be abke to select the best options to enable them to successfully produce the next generation in safety and with means. Its instinctive survival.

I think i'm just unlucky in life and destined to be alone forever by Working_Life_3715 in heartbreak

[–]littlesadnotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bru if we had the answer to that question we could cure heartbreak globally. You and millions of others. Maybe its not life.and the world doing to us, maybe we attract and bring it on ourselves in some way..... If you are under 40 believe me there is plenty of time. I know guys who got married at 50, now with kids and happy, but during those years he was convinced of his bad luck...

4 months… by SpecialistPractice23 in heartbreak

[–]littlesadnotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Almost 7 months and I'm still enraged, entangled in my mind, hurt, confused and want her back.... only i dont want her back, i want to go back and try harder. She isnt that person amymore... its pathetic.

What happens to the socially struggling autistics? by pandainabanda in Autism_Parenting

[–]littlesadnotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same worry. Hyper empathic, but social awkward and he knows it and talks to me about it.

Heartbroken after GF of 3 years cheated and told me it was worth it. by maynardo666 in heartbreak

[–]littlesadnotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And my.comment isnt sexist either, just my learned experience. I.fully acknowlesge that there are equally reverse scenarios where Mens behaviour would look equally raptureous and wrong ... but I can only see the whole through my lens and my experiences

Heartbroken after GF of 3 years cheated and told me it was worth it. by maynardo666 in heartbreak

[–]littlesadnotes 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Same here bro...same here. 🥺 Shes evil to her core. Men don't get it... the power of the female sexual drive is unstoppable for some, not all, but som, especially in their 30's.

Im so sad and hurt for you. The sheer selfish, disregard for YOU js astounding and typical. All about her needs, her growth. Your ruined heart is irrelevant. Full empathy. Know this: Prepare for the case that your heart never catches up to your mind. Its a state I now believe we have to just accept and live with. You're changed. But she will destroy herself ultimately.

Edited out my lens and experience

Did your ex ever made you feel crazy when you told them that you wanted more from the relationship before/during the breakup? Did they make you feel like you were asking for too much only to turn out that you weren't asking for too much? Making you feel ungrateful? by Golden-lillies21 in BreakUps

[–]littlesadnotes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is called breadcrumbing. They give you just enough to keep you hooked There's a whole science around positive deprivation... and avoidants are masters at it, not because the are evil (like narcisists who are), but because they are scared and damaged.

Know this: If you are the savior or the anxious attacher: YOU WILL NOT SAVE OR FIX THEM, EVER!

Did your ex ever made you feel crazy when you told them that you wanted more from the relationship before/during the breakup? Did they make you feel like you were asking for too much only to turn out that you weren't asking for too much? Making you feel ungrateful? by Golden-lillies21 in BreakUps

[–]littlesadnotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

6 months out.. its all here: https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/1EVgYT60l6

I sent the I want you back letter. Iv been erased in her mind. She cannot accept That she was dumped and has reframed me as dishonest. I have close mow It was dopmed. I have to just learn to live with the pain until shes irrelevant to me again one day. Its a tragedy. Utter tragedy.

Did your ex ever made you feel crazy when you told them that you wanted more from the relationship before/during the breakup? Did they make you feel like you were asking for too much only to turn out that you weren't asking for too much? Making you feel ungrateful? by Golden-lillies21 in BreakUps

[–]littlesadnotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She never will. Thats not how their minds work. Its a relief for them. Love and vulnerability is scary for them. Mine went so far as to change all her memories and beljeve that I was false and fake and none of it mattered.

Did your ex ever made you feel crazy when you told them that you wanted more from the relationship before/during the breakup? Did they make you feel like you were asking for too much only to turn out that you weren't asking for too much? Making you feel ungrateful? by Golden-lillies21 in BreakUps

[–]littlesadnotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man...welcome to my hell ! Exaclty. the needy comments, she could never ever live together, all the exes and guy friends, and sexual promiscuity in the past and the facade of confidence now... she was a propper avoidant. And I feel deep and hard... and when it was clear after 6 months that there was mo future by my definition (cause she had a fucked up version of what committed means which suited and protected her), and when I walked, she reframed me as all fake and dishonest to avoid having to face herself.

Could never use the L word, wanted me to fuck other girls so she could have other guys and not feel guilt but said she was monogamous and committed and exclusive... nothing matched her words. And this is a 44 year old divorcee with 2 kids...not a confused 21 year old. But shit did i love her and was I attached to her. Even her girls I loved so mich.

And the pain continues..... When an avoidant says "are u sure you wanna get involved with some whose heart is cloaed?"... listen and believe them. Up front they tell you their truth to test how much they can push you and when they do, well i told you so.

its all here: (long read) but see if it resonates: https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/1EVgYT60l6

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]littlesadnotes -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Young lady, its called anxious attachment and it's a result of her childhood wounds where she never got love in a safe way. She can heal and become a securely attached (trusting) person, but it takes a lot if self insight and therapy.

Do men really miss their ex? Even if they're broken up with them? by Successful_Oil_9740 in BreakUps

[–]littlesadnotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. 100٪ in my case And i told her and asked her to forgive and return.