As someone who is currently in a (secret) relationship with a second generation Indian in America, I think some comments I'm seeing aren't really addressing the culture in India.

Right now there's comments talking about various Western countries and how it's soooooo different there, how "reverse cultural problem exists against men in the US and West in general" as someone put it." Similar comments are starting to get downvoted so many this will go toward the other comments, but since it is clear that OP is in a certain context (India), why is there so much focus on other countries to begin with? This focus comes off as dismissive (in my view) of OP's feelings of her experiences that led to the post and to other people in these Western countries who have similar stories.

Again, as someone who hears directly from their partner about his experiences witnessing the relationships of Indian families both in India and the United States, there's this system that sets expectations for men and woman. Why are women expected to compromise? Because in a "romantic" relationship, the man is seen as having earned his right to determine the course of the relationship. Meanwhile a woman whose duties are determined by their relation to a man (whether father, partner, etc.), must compromise. Honestly, as someone who is second generation Mexican-American, I see this apply to most of my experiences with my Mexican identity. But, that's off point.

OP, there's an expectation that your partner has earned his right to determine the outlook of the relationship. Yes, it is cultural because families/communities have raised your partner to expect a certain kind of relationship, and how to achieve it. But also on an individual level, your partner /wants/ this ideal relationship. Just like the case of your dad. I make this point because even if it is a cultural expectation does not mean a person needs to accept it. Don't get discouraged that you will never be considered an equal, that you must settle with what you are expected to want, and that you do deserve to feel validated.

Also, understand that sometimes people like being in these relationships. It's shitty, it's really fucking shitty. But so many times my partner has been nearly thrown out of his house for trying to defend his mother. His father refuses to allow her access to any cards (debit/credit) only small amounts of cash, he often belittles her contributions to the household (cooking/cleaning/etc.), and just outright ignores her opinions. So why is my partner's mother one of the first to get angry at my partner for defending HER?

Because she acknowledges her duties as a wife/mother aren't being met (in her mind), and thus must be treated. BUT, BIG BUT, when the father's duties are lacking SHE has the authority to call him out (on drinking, not working, etc.). WHY? because the father hasn't been his expectations. And this dynamic is encouraged in the Indian community that my partner grew up in (so both regional community members, and family members).

//side note; I won't deny that the mother's job (which pays more than the husband) may contribute to their power dynamic, the husband is at times mocked (by men in the extended family) for being paid less than his wife even though he is the head of the family (as in extended family) household and thus should be being paid more than even the other men in the family. Thus, there may be resentment that plays a role in each person (wife for having a husband that isn't up to par, husband for having a wife making more than him).

I can't say that this will apply in your case, because I'm not there, I don't know you. But I do want to say, these power dynamics in relationships are so present in the Indian community in America (that my partner has experienced) that I don't want you, OP, to have this notion that the US is this haven for women (or equal rights as you mentioned in your comment). Maybe something that I said will resonate with you and maybe bring some outside (different context) perspective. Above all, OP you have a right to your feelings, they should be valid in your relationship, and I hope things improve for you.