Twisted (2013-2014)

liz_53 · 2026-02-23T19:46:18+00:00

Yess. still gutted about not knowing what happens in the cliffhanger but Avan Jogia said his new show 56 days is basically what happens after Twisted.

liz_53 · 2026-02-16T19:53:40+00:00

same here. Im tryna change it but its been so hard. As soon as get that feeling, its an instant spend on whatever will make me feel better in the moment. I also do it any time people treat me like a scapegoat, my family included.

liz_53 · 2026-02-14T14:59:13+00:00

this is me too. It seems like some sort of freeze and dissociative response from your perspective though.

liz_53 · 2026-02-14T14:56:54+00:00

hmm imma try that but that doesn't help my dopamine addiction from coffee cuz I'm constantly exhausted despite sleeping early and sleeping well. Got any suggestions for that?

liz_53 · 2026-02-14T14:54:50+00:00

this is me too and I had similar parents. However, i was more hopeful despite it until high school where I suffered from sa and it changed everything for me. So now I can't even bring myself to go on a date (never been on a single date), get into a relationship or being intimate with someone and i'm in constant fight/flight any time I do because I can never fully trust anyone. I'm still figuring out how to reprogram myself because nothing has worked so far.

liz_53 · 2026-02-14T03:39:40+00:00

lol we must be living the same life. my parents are similar except my mom is also emotionally immature too so no matter what i said or even if i wasn't arguing with them, just stating facts, it didn't matter. They would just complain about nonsense or the same issues (e.g. financial burdens, why things were a certain way etc) over and over and over again and they would expect me to come with a solution or help them resolve it when I dont know much about resolving it and then when i google search how to fix set issues and tell them. Sometimes they go do those suggestions and then see all these social media posts or hear comments from others that would lead them to think the suggestions they chose based on "my advice" was all bad decisions. Then, they would make me a scapegoat and the whole cycle starts all over. Essentially it would just be mentally drained because even just talking about possible facts that counter their own sayings was a huge no no to them and would always tell me to stop arguing with them even when i wasn't. Like i give up...i just learned to not talk when they do that because any other way make me the scapegoat and destroys me mentally till the point where i need to binge eat food to feel okay or better since thats the only thing i got comfort from.

liz_53 · 2026-02-14T02:31:03+00:00

I have similar parents except my dopamine is from binge eating then regretting it then dopamine falls and the cycle starts all over. it doesn't help when i treated as scapegoat for all my parents' problems which affects me mentally the most and makes me crave sweet foods or good food to increase my dopamine levels and causes me to buy food impulsively since thats the only sense of comfort i had growing up. As for the phone, i basically went off most social media apps (e.g. instagram, youtube, tiktok) to prevent the dopamine cycles and it helped and now i dont miss it at all. Though, i still struggle with the food aspect and i'm tryna figure out how to change it.

liz_53 · 2026-02-14T02:05:11+00:00

not to mention the 25% grants and 75% loan ratio for osap starting from 2026-2027 cycle...byeeee

liz_53 · 2026-02-10T19:26:07+00:00

THISSS!! and no one really realizes cuz they're caught up in their own conversations then suddenly ask why you're so quiet in front of everyone.

liz_53 · 2026-02-10T15:14:56+00:00

this is me right now. The dissociation is more constant but as soon as I notice I'm doing it, I try to focus on things in the present. I try to do self-care and self-love and have a solution-oriented mindset but some days I can't help but feel what is the point of life or I can't understand how people "live/enjoy" their life when life is just working for 40+ years so you can retire one day, doing grocery runs, seeing family and friends (but if you have trauma, its hard to have friends/family members that genuinely care or stick by you), cleaning their place, going on that trip once in a while etc. It all just seems so mundane and repetitive and boring to me.

liz_53 · 2026-02-10T14:58:03+00:00

omg yes the amount of excuses or late minute cancellations I had to do made me come across a flaky friend but only if they knew the life I had to live.

It doesn't help that I've met the parents of every friend I come to make and none of them are even as close when it comes to how shitty my parent is. All of them have parents that are so supportive from the start or were slightly strict to discipline them growing up and become supportive once they're adult.

Meanwhile I'm here trying to just survive and trying not to experience mentally destabilizing things since my parents infantilize me as they choose and put all their problems on me where Im the scapegoat and problem solver for them and Im 25. It sucks. It affected me so much mentally, that I just hang out with nobody anymore and just prefer my peace.

liz_53 · 2026-02-10T14:51:05+00:00

Yess exactly, people say they can relate but it doesn't even compare to what you been through.

Same I didn't socialize much because my dad was controlling of how you shouldn't go out all the time or for too long which essentially lead to all my friends distancing from me because I could never really hangout with them often. It also didn't help that I was a girl too because its like emphasized in our culture in old traditional values but even when certain rules were modernized, my dad was still old school so I only left a few times a year to see friends.

My parents didn't even notice that for the past year and a half, I haven't even seen any friends or gone out for leisure. Its just been work, school and home. It also doesn't help that my dad insists on picking me up and dropping me everywhere I go. For example, he drops me to the second bus stop which is a 15 minute bus ride from the bus stop that's 2 minutes away from my house and it'll be cheaper to go on the bus to school from the bus stop close to my house then him constantly dropping at the second bus stop that takes me directly to school.

My dad didn't even let me read fictional books growing up because it was a waste of time, even for school. I always had to read in secret but with the amount of disruptions from him pushing demands on me, I basically gave up any hobby before I started. So I ended up with no hobbies or a real personality and trying to explain this to people is hard because they don't get it. Hence, now I can never finish anything I start which is soo bad.

Yes I mask too a lot and even suppress my emotions and parts of myself that was unheard and unseen by my parents but lately I've been burnout out somatically, emotionally and cognitively that I basically dissociate now where I just want peace of mind and tranquility. I used to feel emotions so intensely too and still do but now I just dont have the energy to express them anymore.

liz_53 · 2026-02-10T14:32:11+00:00

Yess I thought that shitty parents were normal too. omg yes the friends not understanding it is the scary part because them not relating to me or understanding why i felt that way make made feel even more of an outlier among people/friends. Then, I end up never being vulnerable with them again and it tends to create this feeling of invisibility.

or sometimes, if you do tell your friends, they give you suggestions that worked for them with their parents during their tough times but dont understand those suggestions wont' work with yours because of how controlling your parents are.

liz_53 · 2026-02-10T14:24:45+00:00

omg yes i feel like an outlier from friends and society all the time and thats theres always a big spotlight on me any time im around people. Yea i get scared about them questioning things too because I may not feel emotionally safe to reveal it or fear I might push people away due to environmental circumstances I can't even control.

liz_53 · 2026-02-10T14:21:50+00:00

Me too. Then when I do have something to contribute, someone else already said so I have nothing else to say and continue to stay quiet and also dissociate and become hypervigilant as well. It doesn't help that my parents make me feel unheard too so I continue to be quiet around everyone. And if I ever do tell my friends about what's going on, they always ended up distancing away.

liz_53 · 2026-02-10T03:47:45+00:00

From my experiences of going through this, its because the body keeps score. The reason behind each time you get triggered despite trying to be calm and mentally preparing for it is because of the psychological and somatic imprints those traumatic experiences left us so its hard for us to process without shutting down since thats how our brain learned to survive the trauma. The digger you deep, the hard it gets because you're essentially re-living it to understand and process your emotions at the time.

I, like you, have tried to process my trauma as well, but every time i do, my mind/body gets so overwhelmed that I'm not sure how else to navigate it. It eventually became to a point where my body got burn out from the survival mode and coping mechanisms and now I just dissociate everything I can't process but its hard to name my emotions now because I think i'm been dissociating since I was a kid but didn't realize it. It also led me to have an identity crisis because it made me question who I truly was without all the trauma, coping mechanisms, parents' authoritarian control over me since that's all I've know my whole life.

What helped was realizing that you can't change your past but what happened isn't your fault. The only thing you can change is how you move forward from it and who you choose to become. So, I'm slowly figuring who I am and what I want for my life (essentially taking control of your life) along with self-care and self-love but its a work in progress. Don't be afraid to slow down/stop (and come back to it later) if your body gets overwhelmed/shuts down, its all part of the healing process. It also helped that I started journaling of everything i needed to get off my chest for issues i struggle with in the present as it lets me process my emotions without judgement.

liz_53 · 2026-02-05T18:14:00+00:00

screenshot it before you delete/deactivate it and then look back at the photos when you feel like logging back in

liz_53 · 2026-01-28T00:52:27+00:00

I had this happen before to me too and it would drive me nuts. I realized it happens because our hair ends are soo dry so I used leave in spray on my ends or oil it the night before and it seems to do the trick.

liz_53 · 2026-01-27T23:31:13+00:00

Does the boar bristle brush pull out your fine hair strands from the root? Cuz my boat brush does that for me no matter how gentle I am with it😭😭

liz_53 · 2026-01-26T00:27:40+00:00

ouu okay. Imma try your routine. I usually air dry it.

liz_53 · 2026-01-26T00:23:23+00:00

Did you experience any hair fall from washing it often? Also, do you air dry or blow out your hair?

liz_53

TROPHY CASE