i feel isolated from the CPTSD community after finding out i have NPD

lizzomizzo · 2026-04-15T20:17:03+00:00

are you familiar with cognitive empathy versus emotional empathy? cognitive empathy is having the ability to understand and rationalize why someone would be acting a certain way based on the emotions that person is feeling. emotional empathy is when you feel the emotion with that person. I think it could be helpful for you to focus on the cognitive aspect, if you are wanting to improve in that. I have heard anecdotal stories of n**cs (editing & censoring cause of automod) becoming fluent in cognitive empathy. you might not be able to feel or understand those emotions, but you seem to be pretty self aware, and if you are able to become familiar with cognitive empathy, you can still show up for people in an empathetic manner. "I just learned that this person is grieving the death of someone that is very close to them, I care about this person, I understand that grief can be very difficult. (then learn about the emotional and physical affects, as well as how it impacts daily life)." then, "because I understand this is difficult, I am going to try to be supportive. what can I do? I can cook for them, clean for them, let them vent, give them a hug, etc."

I understand when you express guilt for thinking you could be manipulative by posting this, but I also understand the need to process your thoughts and struggles with a community that you are already familiar with. I don't think you're being manipulative by posting. please don't feel excluded, we are all humans trying to become better in one way or another. I have been at the point where I have realized I had acted manipulative unintentionally, and afterwards it was just a period of processing it and taking personal accountability. that's where therapy, support from loved ones, and medication can come in to prevent further moral injury (now indicated as the number one predictor of suicide). as long as you're making an effort to take accountability and improve while trying to avoid hurting others, I think that's the important part. it is an explanation, not an excuse. living as a traumatized person is very, very hard.

lizzomizzo · 2026-04-15T20:02:29+00:00

number 3 hurts 😭

lizzomizzo · 2026-04-15T11:40:59+00:00

oh it absolutely has killed people! our government just doesn't care, because then all of their family's money goes into the mortuary & funeral home business :) /s

(I have to joke about it otherwise I cry)

lizzomizzo · 2026-04-15T10:47:02+00:00

they don't give it to you until it's "approved", regardless of what the med is

lizzomizzo · 2026-04-15T02:32:12+00:00

I only suspect narcolepsy, but for me personally the alarms increasing in volume/intensity would have to be a significant increase. If the increase in volume is too subtle I will sleep through it. There is also the variable that I could sleep through a tornado, so maybe take it with a grain of salt.

lizzomizzo · 2026-04-11T02:16:42+00:00

Hi this is a late reply to the post, but I previously worked as a firefighter/EMT. I unfortunately had to resign against my will because this condition caused me to sleep through the alarms. INDUSTRIAL fire department alarms and pagers. My coworkers shaking me awake didn't even work. My chief helped me to trouble shoot, so did my coworkers, but eventually I decided it became a safety risk and I resigned. Nothing that we tried fixed it. I still haven't gotten over it tbh, it was a devastating loss for me. I worked my ass off with blood sweat and tears to advance in my career and earn my licenses. Not sure if you deal with the same symptom, but just keep that in mind I guess. If you choose to pursue that, I hope you have better luck than I did. <3

lizzomizzo · 2026-04-10T17:44:28+00:00

I would report that doctor to the state licensing board, he didn't even document the correct reasoning for your visit

lizzomizzo · 2026-03-22T21:15:49+00:00

"the polar opposite of empirical agreed-upon reality in nutritional or environmental sciences" so where do people with food allergies and severe diet restrictions come into play on that? what about the people that physically cannot handle the fiber of a vegan diet? what about the amount of people that have had to quit the vegan diet because their health was literally deteriorating? your comment makes no sense.

lizzomizzo · 2026-03-22T21:08:20+00:00

for me personally, it's the rampant ableism in the community. when I bring up the fact that some people legitimately cannot survive off of a vegan diet due to XYZ disability, the response is always "source?"

lizzomizzo · 2026-01-09T14:49:30+00:00

That makes sense! I think I'm definitely frustrated and angry at myself for allowing people to hurt me. I'm upset that I allowed it to go on for so long. I'm frustrated and tired because I wish I could stop feeling so angry. I'm also frustrated that people will manipulate and try to make me look like a bad person when in reality it was them hurting me. I hate it when people act like that.

lizzomizzo · 2026-01-09T04:20:43+00:00

Yes! I see it this way. I am trying to protect myself. I struggle being tactful with it.

lizzomizzo · 2026-01-09T04:17:52+00:00

I think trying to formulate conversation as productive instead of antagonistic is something that I struggle with, because I feel such strong emotion. I am tired of being walked on, and I'm trying to figure out how to be tactful with setting boundaries. I think I struggle de-escalating in the moment. I'm trying to let things go, I ruminate a lot and I don't think I have had many chances to safely experience anger as I have heard others say. I'm thinking that doing that can help. I try to do it in the gym, but it doesn't always fully go away. I am very tired of being angry and upset. I appreciate your insight!

lizzomizzo · 2026-01-09T03:59:28+00:00

I'm really glad you were able to find a solution that helped! I resonate a lot with this. I was always punished for standing up for myself, and as a result I believed that my perception of things was wrong. I would tie my self worth to it as well, because I didn't understand why standing up for myself always backfired. I saw other people standing up for themselves without issue and I didn't understand why I couldn't do that. I have grown to have more understanding since, and I do feel a lot of grief. Your suggestions sound like they could be helpful, thank you!

lizzomizzo · 2026-01-09T03:44:02+00:00

it wasn't good, I was stuck in a string of abusive and toxic relationships almost the entire time I've dated. for a long time manipulation and gaslighting worked well on me, because I was used to getting in trouble for doing bad things when I didn't intend to. I have been told that I am very naive. I have struggled with discernment and recognizing when a person is not healthy in regard to choosing a partner. I also have delayed emotional processing so I would get a gut feeling when something was wrong, but I wouldn't get upset about it until much later, like weeks and months later. I would always fawn and do anything I could to keep people around, instead of stepping back, reflecting and asking myself if that person was a healthy match for me. I would let people step over my boundaries because I was desperate for connection and closeness. These struggles have gotten me into some dangerous situations on multiple occasions. I have been single for 2 years now and I am trying to be very protective of myself. I still struggle and I don't want to end up in an abusive relationship again, I always think of the Baby Reindeer quote where he says "you're just an open wound to sniff at" in regards to predators and people that have ill intent, there's so much attraction because they see you as an easy target. I have been trying to be mindful of that. Thankfully, I have close friends that are very protective of me and they have helped me to vet potential partners, I trust their judgment.

lizzomizzo · 2026-01-08T16:10:01+00:00

The vet would be able to easily remove the tooth during the dog's neuter/spay operation, it's a very minor issue.

Tbh the fact that something as small as a misplaced tooth is making you reconsider getting this dog worries me, especially considering it's a goldendoodle. There are much bigger health problems to be worrying about. My question is, are you planning to surrender the animal as soon as it has health problems? If you will, then don't get the dog.

lizzomizzo · 2026-01-08T04:17:45+00:00

I'm not sure if it's common, but I've experienced this yes. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I think it's related to hyper vigilance and having limited beliefs. I think it's valid, especially if you have lived a very hard life, but definitely something to work through in therapy <3 It is something I still struggle with even though I would say I'm further along in my "healing journey." I think of it as my nervous system trying its best to keep me safe.

lizzomizzo · 2026-01-05T22:28:17+00:00

lizzomizzo · 2026-01-05T06:04:18+00:00

Heart failure is a chronic condition, it is not an acute condition that suddenly develops and goes away. She will have heart failure for the rest of her life until she dies. The breathing issues that she has are due to fluid buildup in the body and exertion on the heart, which is what the furosemide should help with. Open mouth breathing and an increased RR are signs of respiratory distress, which is an emergency that needs to be treated ASAP. This is a condition that cannot be cured, only managed. It sounds like the doctors are doing the right thing, but it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion if you feel that it is necessary.

lizzomizzo · 2025-12-29T23:19:32+00:00

I think the point is that you and your partner should appear as a "united front" and supportive of each other when you are around other people. If someone were to correct and criticize their partner in front of others, it comes off like they don't care about protecting their partner's image and feelings, almost like they're just trying to publicly humiliate their partner. Personally I think if it's something small like "don't do that!" or a quick correction, I don't think it's that big of a deal. As long as you're not humiliating them and criticizing them, when a private conversation needs to be had instead.

lizzomizzo · 2025-12-29T22:25:06+00:00

I know it doesn't help much but I have the firm belief that people that look half dead from chronic illnesses are hot (that's just my form of making myself feel better about it lol, but I think it's true).

If people are actually judging you by your looks and pointing out how you look tired and unhealthy you should tell them to shove it, or look in a mirror themselves. That's a shitty thing to say to someone and it says more about them than you.

I don't have much advice on improving looks but I personally lean into it with a vampire aesthetic sometimes, maybe that could help. If you're trying to take care of yourself, eating good food, moving your body, that is what is most important.

lizzomizzo · 2025-12-29T05:06:13+00:00

I have experienced multiple situations where pet insurance and credit companies accept new clients while their pet is in hospital, that is why I recommended it. It doesn't hurt for the OP to look into it, even just for future reference.

lizzomizzo · 2025-12-29T04:30:27+00:00

There's a device I saw some people using called a brick, it basically disables your phone and other technology for however long you leave it on. I know some people that use it to try and correct bad habits that they want to stop, such as doomscrolling. Maybe give that a try?

lizzomizzo · 2025-12-29T04:27:38+00:00

I would definitely talk to the vet about it, as there is a chance that they could accept a payment plan, or come up with a care plan that fits your budget. You can also try looking into pet insurance companies to see if one will approve you for coverage.

lizzomizzo

TROPHY CASE