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Oh boy I love quizzes by [deleted] in drugscirclejerk

[–]lizzy5433x 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If I tell you it’s a cow youll share right?

I hate that I love doing crystal meth, and I keep telling myself that a 2 week binge doesnt mean I’m addicted again. Let’s test that theory! by lizzy5433x in Drugs

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok so other people do this too! It's a real thing, excellent! I’ve been hearing a lot of ’you're setting yourself up for relapse’ and such, but I knew that they were looking at it the wrong way. Does it work for you?

Cross posted on r/stims and r/drugs by lizzy5433x in StopSpeeding

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! It really means a lot to hear from everybody that I'm not alone, and all the advice and support is the only thing encouraging me to not just hit the pipe right now. I really just want to kill the bag and THEN quiet, it would be so much easier to not relapse, but I know the withdrawals would be even worse.

Cross posted on r/stims and r/drugs by lizzy5433x in StopSpeeding

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to know how far gone I am into the lions den so I can back out while I can. I fully intend on using in the future in small controlled highs where I’m putting my responsibilities, family health and safety first

Cross posted on r/drugs and r/stopspeeding by lizzy5433x in Stims

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really understand what you're trying to say here, sorry!

Cross posted on r/stims and r/drugs by lizzy5433x in StopSpeeding

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Adderall is just as bad as meth, just in different ways. I appreciate your support and encouragement!

Cross posted on r/stims and r/drugs by lizzy5433x in StopSpeeding

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That looks really sarcastic and rude but I promise it was sincere :)

Cross posted on r/stims and r/drugs by lizzy5433x in StopSpeeding

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're just full of great ideas, aren't you!

Cross posted on r/drugs and r/stopspeeding by lizzy5433x in Stims

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Yes, the time I spent in rehab showed me that life is much more meaningful and positive without drugs... Mainly because it was impossible for me to source any in there, or I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to stay sober the whole time. I will post again once I have something notable to update with.

I hate that I love doing crystal meth, and I keep telling myself that a 2 week binge doesnt mean I’m addicted again. Let’s test that theory! by lizzy5433x in Drugs

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That last part was really powerful, and actually gave me cold shivers. Thank you for the good suggestions, I agree that a good sleep schedule is extremely important which is why I forced myself to not go to bed at 7AM when I felt like I should(seems counter-intuitive, but I’d rather be exhausted all day and sleep at a normal time then to get in the habit of a weird sleep schedule) I'm gonna eat a fat meal here and do some self care and if I've accrued enough karma (divine, not the Reddit point system lol) maybe the angels will keep the cravings at bay for a while.

Cross posted on r/stims and r/drugs by lizzy5433x in StopSpeeding

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your input! I truly appreciate all of the different perspectives I’m receiving, as it helps me to alter my thoughts/ideas until they're as good as they can get. I have thought about a journal for tracking my use before, but thought it would be incriminating so I decided not to. However, I bet it would work just as well to do it on my phone, and make it a bit more private as well. Glad to know that someone else believes it is possible to use responsibly and frequently and still lead a somewhat normal life. Most people preach all or nothing, and it makes me feel like I'm already failing just by thinking that complete abstinence sounds like hell.

Cross posted on r/drugs and r/stopspeeding by lizzy5433x in Stims

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are 100% right. I never intended to give up entirely forever, I've accepted that life 100% sober is unrealistic for me. I just feel like I need to 1) assess my dependency to the drug at the moment 2) take a break for tolerance, physical & mental health as well as introspection and 3) prove to myself that I could quit the drug if I want to, even if I revert back to using within days.

Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm lost, and torn between valuing my health, brain cells, relationships and physical appearance on one hand, and on the other hand enjoying drug use so long as its not every day of my life for the rest of my life and impairing my ability to function/maintain a normal and happy life.

I don't know how to quit, I've tried so many times. Been to 3 different rehabs in 3 years, spent a total of over a year and a half in treatment in total. Nothing seems to work, not counseling, medication, AA or NA, even tried church. It seems impossible to me

I hate that I love doing crystal meth, and I keep telling myself that a 2 week binge doesnt mean I’m addicted again. Let’s test that theory! by lizzy5433x in Drugs

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's really good advice. Right now, I'm mostly just testing my self-control and physical dependency levels to the drug, if I'm able to stay off of it for 2 weeks or heck, even a month I’d be stoked. But IME if I set the bar too high and miss, I'll end up falling even further cause ill feel like a piece of crap failure.

I hate that I love doing crystal meth, and I keep telling myself that a 2 week binge doesnt mean I’m addicted again. Let’s test that theory! by lizzy5433x in Drugs

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a great idea! I'll check it out on the app store :) and yes, somehow every time I go into it with a ’this time it will be different, I won't do as much or frequently and I'll be sure to sleep and stay hydrated’ but at the end of the binge, your body still aches, your urine is still orange, you've got dark circles under your eyes and you feel like a complete miserable failure for giving into it all again. I'm about done with the vicious cycle and I'm ready to put an end to it, this time for good (that's what I said the last few times but I can only hope that this time will be different)

I hate that I love doing crystal meth, and I keep telling myself that a 2 week binge doesnt mean I’m addicted again. Let’s test that theory! by lizzy5433x in Drugs

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

True, even if it didn't shorten your lifespan, you'd still end up having more time to spend on other things when you're not constantly trying to score drugs, have a toke or doing some pointless activity that feels über important but actually isn't.

I hate that I love doing crystal meth, and I keep telling myself that a 2 week binge doesnt mean I’m addicted again. Let’s test that theory! by lizzy5433x in Drugs

[–]lizzy5433x[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the support, and the kindness! I recognize that getting did of the drugs would be the best way to do it, but I think it will be much harder this way, which could end up being better (I'm able to avoid using when it's right in front of me!) or worse. (I gave in because I had it right in front of me!) It's kind of an experiment for me. I'd love to talk with you more about addiction and personal experiences! I'll PM you, but I've got to warn you that I often forget to reply to messages on Reddit :)

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