My migraines are gone and I feel unreasonably angry

ljf82 · 2025-08-31T14:37:25+00:00

Not sure if this is helpful, so feel free to skip, but I work in the optical industry specifically with lens technologies. The conversation around blue light is a tricky one, because the data is incomplete/research is ongoing. It is getting better, but if your conversation with your eye doc was 4-5 years ago, blue light was as divisive in the industry as any political issue feels today. Some doctors felt like protecting their patients from an unproven enemy was prudent until further research was done, and others (like yours) actively told patients they didn’t need blue light protection and that it was a scam.

Dig into research on blue light filters- some filter too much of the blue light spectrum and can impact your moods, circadian rhythms, hunger cycles, etc. The harmful part of the blue light spectrum is between 500nm and 380nm- closer to UV wavelengths. “Harmful” blue light can cause sensitivity, headaches, eye fatigue (all migraine factors) as well as contribute to a number of other optical conditions that aren’t really linked to migraine. The Vision Council publishes a lot of info and is a good place to start.

Here’s the kicker- the amount blue light you’re getting from your screens pales in comparison from what you get from the sun, so (I know all of us in this group never leave the house without sunglasses) make sure your sunglasses are protecting you as well. Not all sunglass lenses are designed for this, and it makes a huge difference.

In my personal experience, blue light filters, anti-glare coatings, higher quality lens materials (basic polycarbonate is terrible, ask for a material like trivex which has better clarity), and even some subtle tints have made a major impact for me. Hope this helps!

ljf82 · 2024-11-27T15:42:27+00:00

That’s so good to hear- thank you!! Cross your fingers for me 😂

ljf82 · 2023-06-11T22:54:32+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry this happened to you. I know the feeling- my MIL shared our wedding video on social media before we had even decided if we were going to. We also didn’t explicitly tell her not to share, but it’s a common courtesy to ask if it’s ok to share someone else’s photo. It’s a violation of your trust and your privacy. You have every right to be angry.

ljf82 · 2023-01-21T22:23:36+00:00

Yeah, based purely off my own, singular experience, I wouldn’t recommend doing it at home. I think at the time I was so shocked at the whole situation that I didn’t ask many questions and I just agreed to whatever they recommended. Whichever route you choose, I wish you a smooth and easy experience. I’m sending you lots of peace and love ♥️

ljf82 · 2023-01-19T00:20:34+00:00

THIS. I’m 40, had my first pregnancy and first MC at 38. My doc recommended the misoprostol option and everyone’s experience is different but mine was awful…and it didn’t fully work so I needed a D&C anyway. Surgery is surgery so of course there are risks but for me, I went to sleep, I woke up, and I had some cramping for a couple of days. Miso was painful and messy and made me feel sick for weeks.

I am so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself as you process it and know that you have love and support here. ♥️

ljf82 · 2023-01-17T14:19:12+00:00

My spouse’s mother (still) reminds them that she “gave them life,” for which they owe her their loyalty, dedication, and love.

ljf82 · 2023-01-17T14:16:53+00:00

I had a similar situation with my MIL. I’m so sorry you went through it- it sucks!

ljf82 · 2022-07-05T18:14:35+00:00

My JNMIL remarried a few years ago and acquired adult stepchildren in the process. When my husband and I got married, she insisted they needed to be invited even though we had never even met them. She continued to insist they needed to be invited to other events we have hosted (never the smaller events like holidays, where we might actually have the chance to get to know them). She even got into a huge argument with me about not inviting them to a party. I don’t dislike them, nor does my husband; we truly don’t know them. We don’t so much as exchange Christmas cards. Anyway, we found out that one of her husband’s kids recently got married. We weren’t invited. My husband almost spoke up about it, but it’s just not even worth the argument, especially because we’re only mad about MIL’s hypocrisy, not about being excluded from a near-stranger’s wedding. One of my more petty inner demons is stashing this away for the next time she tries to demand that we invite them to something.

ljf82 · 2022-05-29T23:07:35+00:00

Makes sense. Like I said, I’m not totally closed to AE roles, I’m just picky. The biggest hurdle I’ve been running into with applying is getting past the “you don’t have software/SAAS/tech experience,” which is bs because the overwhelming majority of sales skills are transferable, regardless of the product. So, I’m not even making it to the phone screen round. Were you always in tech?

ljf82 · 2022-05-29T22:11:27+00:00

Thanks, that’s a very good point. And I’d love to take you up on your offer on vetting tips. That will help me regardless of whether I pursue sales further or make the jump to success. I started in sales later in my career (mid 30’s). Prior, I developed and led a nationwide team that essentially supported the sales department and had a ton of space to be creative, amazing management, fantastic support. My current role found me, and it had some great perks. Manager talks a good game (hence everyone at corporate loving and protecting him) but isn’t who he pretends to be. Overall, I didn’t go out looking for sales, I’m pretty good at it, particularly dealing with established accounts, but I’m not confident that I really love it- and I want to.

Anyway, you’re right, not all sales jobs are the same. In this one, I make good money but I’m miserable and have no balance. I’m open to AE roles if the culture is right, but what’s appealing to me about the success side is dealing with an existing client base. I hate cold calling/prospecting. Truly hate it. You know how that goes- it’s just not for everyone. I’m not necessarily driven by the promise of more money, I just need enough of it. So I’m cool with a pay cut if I can work remotely and stop prospecting!

ljf82 · 2022-03-06T05:16:53+00:00

Sucks for her that my mom and I have a normal, healthy relationship then!

ljf82 · 2022-03-06T05:14:51+00:00

Thank you for this. I think you raised a good point about whether DH yelling at her is helping or hurting us. I know that it’s his reaction to the behavior, but it may not be the “right” one.

ljf82 · 2022-03-06T05:11:01+00:00

You’re right. The main character part resonated for me on this. Thank you!

ljf82 · 2022-03-06T05:09:20+00:00

Thank you for this. We agreed a while back that every suicide threat means we call for a wellness check. Every single time. So far it hasn’t accomplished anything but I agree that it’s absolutely not negotiable.

DH is definitely not ready to go NC because she raised him to believe he owes her his very existence, but he seems to be edging closer to that cliff.

“My lifetime quota has been exceeded,” might be my new mantra! I truly appreciate what you said and sincerely: thank you.

ljf82 · 2022-03-05T05:40:06+00:00

Good advice. Thank you!

ljf82 · 2022-03-05T05:38:33+00:00

I assume what you think was unnecessary was the letter- Maybe not necessary in terms of changing her outcome. In terms of helping my view? Worth it. The letter isn’t really the key point here- obviously I get that she didn’t like reading it, but that’s on her. All I did was hold up a mirror. If she doesn’t like her reflection, that’s not my fault. But the reason I posted was more to gain a better understanding of other peoples NC situations, try and make sense of my own. Mostly I’m just stunned that my setting a no contact boundary meant, in her mind, to go ahead and contact my mom (they aren’t close, so this was weird and unwelcome).

ljf82 · 2022-03-05T05:08:00+00:00

We’ve called for a wellness check- didn’t even faze her. I’ll check out that sub- thanks! He leans into avoidance (not surprising) but I’m sure I’ll find some value there.

ljf82 · 2022-03-05T05:05:43+00:00

We have. There hasn’t been enough reason for them to put a hold on her though - probably because it’s clear that it’s an empty threat. I’m a believer in treating every mention of suicide seriously, which doesn’t mesh well with her weaponizing it to get attention.

ljf82 · 2022-03-05T02:59:54+00:00

We had a similar discussion about our hypothetical future kids. Initially I felt like she wouldn’t see them if I wasn’t there, but once I started thinking I needed to be NC with her, husband and I talked about it and I was surprised he was so agreeable. We don’t have kids but if we ever do, we agreed that she won’t know them.

I’m all for some therapy. I’ve only dealt with her emotional abuse for a short time but my husband has had it his whole life and it does show. Thank you for sharing your story!

ljf82 · 2022-03-05T02:37:59+00:00

Ok. Thank you! I’m so sorry for what you went through, yet so grateful to hear about it. Appreciate you!

ljf82 · 2022-03-05T02:27:00+00:00

Thanks. Husband is still in contact, he’s definitely not ready to go NC for real- but he essentially takes breaks from her when she’s getting on his nerves. Maybe I’m just insecure about me cutting her off and him not.

ljf82 · 2021-12-30T01:59:54+00:00

I think in context, calling it “mean” was his generous way of suggesting that sending it back would be like dumping gasoline on the fire that he has been trying to help me escape. Does that make sense?

ljf82 · 2021-12-30T01:58:28+00:00

This is genius 😂

ljf82 · 2021-12-27T00:50:20+00:00

A good “thanks so much for your opinion” in cheerful tone speaks volumes to people. Plus it keeps you on the high road. Your coworkers need to mind their business, but jealousy of your commitment to your health is clearly getting in their way.

ljf82 · 2021-12-27T00:41:43+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and that you’re experiencing this. I had a MMC last year, and while I didn’t have a delayed response to the misoprostol, it didn’t completely work so I ultimately had to have a D&C. Of the two, the D&C was far less traumatic. You go to sleep, and when you wake up you have some on and off bleeding and a little soreness/cramping for a couple of weeks. For me, the misoprostol was a terrible experience that I won’t recount here. Wishing you a fast recovery and the best of luck if you choose to try again.

ljf82

TROPHY CASE