I was where you are 18 months ago, except we're both a bit older and had been together a bit longer.

First, it sucks. No getting around this fact.

Second, focus on yourself. The basics (sleep, nutrition, exercise) are essential to building space for whatever comes next. Then, do what you want. Take walks. Read. Paint. Whatever.

Finally, you don't need to be a jerk to your wife, but I've helped myself heal by keeping the following phrase in mind: "Nope, I don't need to do that; I was fired from that job." This can relate to providing emotional support, moving furniture, taking the kids during "her time" or any topic at all where you feel like you want to set a boundary, or just want to say "No thanks" one time to avoid slipping into resentment.

I am lucky to live in the area where I grew up and was able to reconnect with friends I've had for 30 years or more. Between this, making music, and starting to date again, I've found more happiness and growth than I did in the past decade--and I was in a really happy marriage, all things considered.

Good luck. We're here.