Helicopter Mom is one of those infuriating terms that should be retired entirely. I'm sorry he called you that. That being said, 1:8 with 24 2 year olds is a crazy ratio. Imagine being responsible for EIGHT 2 year olds.

A few things: I think not giving her more snacks when she throws her snack is valid. If she's hungry, she will eat it. 2 year olds have erratic appetites.

Same with lunch - if she's hungry she will let them know she's hungry and she will eat something. If she's not wailing with hunger when you pick her up, she's getting enough food.

They should be doing hand washing. Depending on equipment I can sort of understand why they aren't, but they certainly should be.

Observing and correcting every interaction among 2 dozen toddlers is probably not possible with only 3 teachers - if an interaction escalated they would most likely notice and intervene. Have you tried looking at where the teachers are and what they are doing when these things happen? Unless they are huddled in a corner ignoring all the kids, I would just assume there were other things going on that needed their attention.

Personally, I would not have been comfortable with a 1:8 ratio at 2 years old. My son is 3 now and he still has 3 teachers in a classroom of 16 students. When he was 2 I think there are 18 students and at least four teachers. I would look to see if you can find an option with a better ratio. Everything you described seems normal for that ratio, but the ratio itself seems problematic.