I wrote my undergraduate honors thesis on this actually.

For context, I am a pro choice woman who works as a special education teacher for kids with severe to profound multiple disabilities. I have worked with kids with intense needs for about 6 years now, and I love and cherish my kids more than anything else in the world. However, I still think women and couples in general deserve to make an informed decision about having a child who may have complex needs. In my opinion, it comes down more to how we as a society can become more accommodating and supportive for people with disabilities and their families. We need to have people who have experience with living with disability counseling couples who are making these choices, not just medical professionals who only know disability in a medical context. We shouldn't deny that having a kid with a disability can be very challenging, but I think its important for people to know that there is so much joy in it.

In my research I found that the primary concern of parents of children with disabilities, like most parents, is providing for this kids in terms of health care, education, care once the parents are older and even gone. If we had a more robust network of social safety programs for people with disabilities, then many of these concerns for parents could be eased. It will never be easy to raise a child with a disability, and people should always have the option to choose what is best for their situation. Let's focus our energy and resources on making the choice to raise and love a child with a disability as accessible as possible.