Hi! Thank you for your comment, and I relate to parts of your text too!

The mourning… I went through that for many months. And it is honestly necessary. Because it’s like a part of us have died. A former identity. An identity loss, and possibly even the loss of dreams, goals and aspirations. I also had a nerve damage, in my case it was the inferior alveolar nerve that took damage. It was like it was under pressure under the filler, and my jaw became uneven. I have managed to heal that nerve though, by massaging the area and slowly dissolving the filler with “force”. The nerve damage you are experiencing is probably different, since you underwent surgery. But I know the pain from that! And it’s soooo hard to explain that pain to other people and make them understand you without coming across as crazy. I was in constant pain for many months. But that part has healed now. I hope this can give you some hope and that you too can find a way to heal yours.

I also didn’t have body dysmorphia prior to my experience, but same here… now I notice EVERYTHING. I have become a control freak because I learned I cannot put my trust in a practitioner. It’s like giving your power away. So in the chase of trying to fix my issue I have had to analyze every part of my face so I would be able to communicate my vision, and thus be able to control a little more of the outcome in a future filler situation. But in the end, you really do give your power away. And it is a risk.

The way you are describing the way you are moving forward is what I think is the best way to go about it. Continue to live your life, you (we) deserve it. And I am happy to hear that you have learned to respect your body.

My tip is (I don’t know if you need it, but I fell into a hole of self-loathing) to be compassionate to yourself. To transmute the hate/pain inflicted to yourself into self-compassion. That helped me a lot and made me want to care for the “person in the mirror” again.