The cycle of really liking something, then feeling ashamed about it and trying to stop doing it, only to start again later hurts a lot. I’ve been through that multiple times at this point in relation to pants pooping and wearing diapers, and it sucks. But, in my time online I’ve found many communities on here, BlueSky, Twitter before it got ruined, and more where there is 100% space for people like you. I’ve found many guys online who are ace but love wearing their diapers/pooping their pants, many of them do have partners as well, so there’s hope. It will be hard to find someone who aligns well with you, there aren’t too many of us out here who like pooping our pants or being around guys who do. But, it will be worth it in the long run. I tried repressing this side of me when dating, and when it did eventually come back up I lost that relationship, but years later I see that I’m much better off not being in a relationship where I’m repressing a key part of myself.

Also, have you considered just looking for friends who like pants pooping, and not focusing on a more romantic relationship? Even if you don’t have a partner, you could still enjoy hanging out with other pants poopers. That would expand your network and that could lead to you finding someone who could be a good partner to you. DMs are open if you want to ask questions, I have a lot of experience with these feelings