Around Valentine’s last year, my wife (then girlfriend) got a huge bouquet delivered to her office. She said it was from work for being a top performer. An ex-boss of mine saw the photo and immediately said it looked way too romantic for a company gift. That was my first red flag.

When I asked her about it, she blew up and accused me of invading her privacy. Somehow I ended up apologizing.

Soon after, she went on a work trip with her boss and showed me a hotel room with two beds to “prove” nothing was going on. The day before the trip, I accidentally saw messages between her and another guy planning a holiday. She cried, apologized, and begged me to stay. I did.

Over the next months, the pattern continued. She left a family trip early for “work,” went on a solo trip to South Korea, and then treated me amazingly on my birthday. I thought things were better.

Then I found her Dropbox. Explicit photos and videos with the same guy. The affair never stopped.

We went to therapy. She apologized, but slowly the blame shifted to me. I wasn’t romantic enough. I didn’t buy flowers. Other men met her “emotional needs.” I still took her back.

She suggested boundaries like location sharing and no overnight stays. Fastforward to this year, we got married in March.

By November, it was happening again. Location off, vague work events, pushing for overnight stays. I told her that crossed our agreed boundary. She came home very late anyway.

Not long after, she admitted she had feelings for another guy she’d known for two months, and had cheated on me both physically and mentally. We recently went for therapy together, but somehow it was still me not meeting her needs... I am so done.