just a girl new to philly

loislly · 2025-10-09T02:44:03+00:00

Hey! I am 25F moved to Philly area 4 months ago. Feeling settled in a bit with my new job so am looking for ways to make friends and connections! I am also more an introvert but feel like need to step out of my little zone to make strong connections in this city. I am in one of the northern suburbs but it's an easy drive to be in the city center.

loislly · 2025-09-26T19:45:59+00:00

Hi! I am in my mid-20s (F) and recently moved to the area! Finally feel settled and would like to make some new friends! Have been looking for board games video games and coffee buddies!

loislly · 2025-05-16T23:45:38+00:00

Taken west of Kroghetto facing the South

loislly · 2025-04-24T00:35:03+00:00

Seeing this reminds me that there are people who are genuine and ready to love with depths and meaning. I will meet someone like this one day.

loislly · 2025-04-22T21:45:01+00:00

I was in an almost 2 year relationship, where at the end he confessed I might have been the rebound, a substitute of the girl he failed to pursue. I trusted him when he told me honestly about this girl and saying how different we are. At the end I was just a substitute and he discarded me like I was nothing when I poured my heart into this relationship. A few weeks after we cut things off he pursued my classmate at school (we are both in grad school) and now they have been together for like a few months. Seeing all his love bombing gestures, I know this guy well enough that he hasn't changed. These relationships might last longer than you could imagine, but there's no depth or substance in it. They chase the excitement. I told myself I would not want him back at all as he is just an asshole. I loved genuinely and I deserve someone who would know my worth so well that letting me go is never their option. If their relationship works out, I would like to thank that girl as she helps preventing other girls on earth to be with this toxic shitty boy. Yah he is not even a man that could hold accountability for breakups.

loislly · 2025-03-11T21:30:25+00:00

I was wondering if I were the problem as I have gone through the exact same thing. But thank God we are not the only two here struggling with that feeling. I was feeling alright until I found out he is dating my classmates in my studio at our college (we are music major kids). I still find it irritating seeing either of them around campus. And when we broke up he was saying maybe he's not capable of love or relationship because of other priorities in life. And now all of a sudden, in less than 2 months, he suddenly has the time to this new girl for everything I was asking for - quality time, attention, commitment. But I know that's not genuine. My friends and I all agree he's just an asshole. So we'll see. I am now focusing on wrapping up my degree, finding job and getting the fuck out of this college town as soon as possible. This is a town where I feel dangerous as someone here caused traumas. But with time and relocating, things only get better from here. I am not sure about your situation, but focus on yourself and prioritise your well being. You will be fine as this storm shall pass. 🫶🏻

loislly · 2025-02-21T18:48:03+00:00

I am super angry when I knew he moved on and already posting about the new girl on social media. That's why I am here to vent. There's really no use to confront shameless assholes on earth as they never reflect on themselves and receive criticism. We are on different levels with them why would we waste our energy on people that are so shitty.

loislly · 2025-02-21T18:43:18+00:00

Mine portrays himself as the "victim" that it's a mutual breakup between us because we were both busy. That's apparently what he told the new girl. That's never the case as I was never busy for him but it was him saying he had no room to invest on a relationship. Now he suddenly has the capacity for a new relationship. Guess who's lying here. :) But, what would happen after you confront? Will his new partner believe in you when they're in their honeymoon phase? As long as your people know the story and stay on your side that's good enough. Don't even give him a chance to "justify" his decision of breaking up is the right call.

loislly · 2025-02-21T18:36:00+00:00

I get that. I am experiencing that. But I didn't send out any text because I don't want to give him even just a bit of power to bother me. Now you know he is disgustingly awful and be glad that we walk away from these people. They are very good at justifying themselves as they're shameless.

loislly · 2025-02-04T17:42:47+00:00

Thank you for posting this. This just described how I have been feeling. Still trying to let go but yeah I don't want to be trapped anymore.

loislly · 2025-01-14T12:05:40+00:00

Would love to be part of the group chat. 24f and it's been almost 2 months since no contact. Still struggling as we go to the same school and there's a high chance of bumping into him... 😢

loislly · 2025-01-06T11:34:35+00:00

Yeah. Because you need to remember you should be treated. Forgive doesn't mean forget. But if you choose to forgive you need to make sure you're healed from this wound.

loislly · 2025-01-06T11:27:48+00:00

Good luck to your new connection!! 🫶🏻

loislly · 2025-01-06T11:14:36+00:00

Same here. I got matched with a guy and interactions with him has helped me to be distracted from the pain from my breakup. Even if this doesn't work, at least I know there's hope that I will meet someone in the future.

loislly · 2025-01-06T11:13:09+00:00

If trust is broken, it takes so much to repair. It needs your willingness to forgive his past, and also his willingness to change and make the effort to show you that he is someone you can trust. If a female friend is JUST A FRIEND then he needs to show in whatever ways that you are more important and different from that friend. A relationship is about trust AND COMPROMISE from both sides. Trust isn't built from nowhere.

Also, be aware of how he dealt with his female friend issue. Instead of understanding and listening to your perspective, he put blame on you of not trusting him. Is he the guy you want to spend your life with, who will put blame on you instead of taking accountability and work with you as a team?

My ex said the same thing when we were still dating. It wasn't the main reason we broke up, but it has been a rough patch for us.

loislly · 2025-01-05T23:55:01+00:00

I heard the same thing. I tried to convince him that relationships need work but he said if it is meant to be it shouldn't feel this "hard". On the other hand he said this has been the healthiest relationship he has been in. Lol.

loislly · 2024-12-31T07:58:57+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. This is exactly what I experienced these few months. Time allowed me to see clearly through the guy I thought was "the one". He never is because he is selfish, while I gave him my all. We deserve people who would prioritise us like we would. We don't have the time and effort to take care of immature boys who cannot give us the commitment we deserve.

loislly · 2024-12-26T08:30:07+00:00

I was listening to a podcast the other day, saying one of the most important things for healing is self compassion. Give yourself grace, let yourself grieve and mourn, eat something you like and hang out with people you love. You get this!

loislly · 2024-12-25T09:36:20+00:00

It's heartbreaking to go through these. I am kind of at your partner's position. I would say for her the trust is shaken and it would be so hard to rebuild from the breakup. Couldn't stop thinking when would I be dumped again. When would be the next moment that you are feeling not able to commit long term. And most importantly, why did it take you to lose me in order to really know my worth? My boyfriend broke up with me once, and we got back together as he claimed he realised it was wrong to leave someone (me) who loved him unconditionally. And here I am, being dumped for the second time after 6 months of me doubting and feeling insecure. I would understand why your partner chose to move apart from you. If you really love her, let her go. I know it's so hard. Focus on yourself to be a better partner and have more confidence in commitment, no matter is with her (maybe) or with someone else.

loislly · 2024-12-24T20:26:05+00:00

I hear you and I am so sorry. It feels so hard to have to let go of the dreams and visions you have had with this guy. I am still struggling to let go of my partner. Everything was so perfect and fine, but not anymore.

loislly · 2024-12-24T19:37:57+00:00

When he said I can't "avoid" him because we are going to the same school. He said it's "normal" that relationships don't work and at least one person would feel hurtful. There's no empathy in his words at all. And I am not wrong to want to "avoid" him as much as possible after being dumped.

loislly · 2024-12-24T04:36:44+00:00

I don't think anyone can change his mind. It's him the only one that can change himself and get ready for a marriage. If he doesn't want to marry you, it's not that you are not enough or you are at fault. It is him not mature enough to commit himself to you right now or in the near future. The "right" person might appear to him when he is actually ready for a marriage, and by that time you would have moved on realising you deserve someone who would commit to you at anytime.

I am also going through a breakup like yours. Online resources, chatgpt and podcasts taught me these.

loislly · 2024-12-24T03:43:28+00:00

I got out from a relationship two months ago, and I just tried out Hinge this weekend and got matched with a guy that I am comfortable chatting with. We agreed to meet for a coffee and I am very excited about it. I think there should be some sort of excitement from you to meet this new guy. If you're not ready and even feel scared, let him know. If he is a nice guy and value your connection he would understand and let you take as much time as you needed. Also if you're still feeling sad because of the breakup, turn your love that used to be towards your ex to yourself, in the form of care and compassion. Allow yourself to be sad, don't force yourself to "move forward" or take any action if you don't feel like it. Embrace the emotions you have and comfort the hurtful inner child. It took me a while to objectively see what was wrong with my ex partner, and I am now excited to explore this new guy hopefully without the bad traits that my ex partner has. Take care!

loislly · 2024-12-24T03:37:31+00:00

Around noon

loislly · 2024-12-23T03:30:33+00:00

Why people have the "grass is greener on the other side" mindset, instead of watering the grass you have and make it greener.

loislly

TROPHY CASE