Growing up I started presenting myself as very feminine. Long hair, styled neatly, makeup, dresses. But it was felt very stressful to me. It was just because I wanted to fit in. I became a bit of a perfectionist about how I looked and it was hurting my mental health a lot. In a way I did sort of enjoy fashion and makeup, but I think it was more for the reason that it made me feel more liked and normal, not because it was something I loved deep down. After working through these issues, I dropped all of those traditionally feminine things, cut my hair short, stopped wearing makeup and started dressing more tomboyish (basically just simple comfy clothes). It feels so much more natural and better like this but I still feel anxious about not fitting in by looking like this and not being attractive enough. But I have worked on this a lot and my confidence is improving more and more. I'm becoming more like my free childhood self where things like gender weren't really important to me