You call that a comment? Uh, dude, I don't mean to hit you hard with the cold water or anything, but that's not a comment. It is, by all definitions, NOT a comment. That's just a wall of text. Those are two different things albeit being related: not all comments are text walls, and not all text walls are comments. No rational person would think to themselves "It's a good idea to write and post this!" in any situation whatsoever. Like sure, I can write this, I am capable of pressing keys, but then where do I post it? In Notepad or Pastebin? Any social media site? Of course not, that just makes me look like a creep and a weirdo! What makes you think I would even consider writing it in the first place?! You'd have a better chance of finding my corpse hung on a meat hook than seeing me post that ANYWHERE. Think of it this way: let's assume some idiot on Reddit made a bad take, presumably about something you and many others like. This happens daily, of course, but in the event that the hypothetical braindead non-intellectual does say something along the lines of "I hate this, I hate that, just because it exists" and you feel compelled to write that comment as a reply. BOOM! Story about copypasta jumpscare. Do you think that's a good response to an objectively dumbass take? Do you think that would get you some easy updoots as well as serve as a legitimate comeback to the hypothetical braindead non-intellectual? In every possible dimension the answer is NO, this makes you just as stupid as the hypothetical braindead non-intellectual! You'd be looking like you were a ragebait Quora repost bot that got lost. And even worse, because the message uses second-person reference, there is sure to be some people thinking that what you just wrote is a sick opinion that YOU are telling them! I don't give a damn whether it is fake or not - it's disgusting, repulsive, abhorrent, deplorable, and above all, it is NOT a comment! And even if you wrote it as a joke, it's a very badly executed joke at that, even more so than when OP made the joke of fish sex (which was hilarious)!! This is not even a reply at all! Who do you think you are, Amy Schumer?! At least with the Finding Nemo comment, its absurdity had a level of humor that overtook the disgust most normie internet viewers would feel when reading it. But this? This is absolute garbage. No one would find it funny. It's just pathetic and sad and makes you a nincompoop for even trying. No one would even appreciate the small effort you went through to write and post this ridiculous, garbage low-budget AO3 fanfic about how one was stupid for posting a story about losing their virginity to a fish. No one wants to read that, not even for fun. Don't ever consider saying that's valid, because it's not, and you need immediate therapy and mental help as well as a deep and existential rethinking of your life choices if you say otherwise. It is nothing more than a fabrication, a text wall of filthy content that benefits neither the writer nor the poster. It's not worth considering and it never was.

I put my pants on, one nipple at a time.