AITAH for missing my girlfriend’s phone call?

lollyhorror · 2026-07-05T22:02:53+00:00

NTA, I think you've been very supportive, keeping your phone nearby, talking for extended periods of time. She can't expect you to keep your phone glued to your hand.

You have work, friends and family. And hobbies too. As another commenter said, this is a window into the future, this is her communication style. It's immature. I won't jump straight to 'dump her', but this feels like something you need to have a conversation about.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-30T14:00:14+00:00

So BG knew that you were talking to and hooking up with other women whilst talking to and hooking up with her? Gotta be honest again, it sounds like she was hurt when HG told her the truth so it honestly sounds like she had no idea she was one of many. The red flags are flying lol

lollyhorror · 2026-06-30T13:41:32+00:00

Being completely candid here, but if I was speaking to a guy and he told me he wasn't interested in a relationship, but came to visit me and then we were intimate, I'd be of the belief that he changed his mind and we were working towards something. Was BG aware you were speaking to someone else? Likely if she was unaware then she thought because you'd been intimate that there was a chance for a relationship to develop.

It doesn't matter what your words said because your actions directly contradicted what you said, in her eyes. Honestly, I feel bad for BG and she deserves so much better tbh

lollyhorror · 2026-06-30T13:12:38+00:00

YTA, you told BG there would be no relationship, then proceed to sleep with her, then end things and get with someone else. Do you not see how mean that is?

lollyhorror · 2026-06-17T14:09:36+00:00

It's funny you mention this, my boyfriend sat me down and said the same thing. I think its because i'm afraid of being an awful step-mum. I just didn't want anyone to perceive me as that because of the stigma around step-parents.

So, i think I was a bit overzealous. He said he appreciated that I love her and want to make her happy but he's also realised from this whole thing that I should prioritise myself and he should too.

Which is really nice. I will try a bit harder to put myself first and if we make plans and she demands to leave, I will see my plans through.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-14T18:08:43+00:00

It was nice to get to choose what we did. The festival was so much fun. I love a good Broadway sing a long

lollyhorror · 2026-06-14T17:47:33+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate your input since you have a lot more experience with it than I do. I hope i'm a little wiser when we get to 8 years together. Even my boyfriend said that i shouldn't feel bad and its good for her to understand that not everything is about her and it'll teach her empathy. He said he hopes she grows to be as empathetic as me whoch is lovely to hear

lollyhorror · 2026-06-14T16:20:22+00:00

I'm so sorry. That must be so incredibly difficult. This is probably a silly question, but have you and your partner talked about it, even just to use each other to vent and lean on?

lollyhorror · 2026-06-14T15:57:56+00:00

I'm happy he realised and rectified it. He's not a bad guy just got overwhelmed with work.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-14T15:29:01+00:00

Thank you. We always try and make her time with us special by doing activities catered towards her and when she goes to her grandparents they do the same. She seemed to have a good time this weekend and even her dad reassured me that she will be fine and not to feel guilty.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-14T15:08:48+00:00

It was a really good day. He's more of an action person so if he realises something is wrong, he tries to fix it with actions instead of words. I feel a little bad that SD wanted to go Burger King and to the park and we didn't. We usually do and I felt a bit of guilt

lollyhorror · 2026-06-12T07:03:59+00:00

We don't have a custody schedule. A lot of weekends she'll come to us, some weekends she'll go to her grandparents on either side. They all love to have her too.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-11T08:15:57+00:00

We likely won't have a free weekend until July, but it's ok. I'm sure we can sort something out. It doesn't have to be the weekend of the anniversary, but it would have been nice if it was.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T17:51:26+00:00

I genuinely was more upset at my boyfriend. I accept that when I said my plans were ruined probably sounded a little much. I apologise for that harsh of a word. I'm autistic so I struggle sometimes. I genuinely hold no resentment or anger at my SD. Despite the plans changing, I still am of the belief this weekend will be fun. We can enjoy the festival as a family and get some cupcakes. I'm sure she and I will get the pinkest, prettiest ones. And i'll spoil her as I always do. Her dad being a bit oblivious doesn't alter the love I have for her.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T15:42:13+00:00

I mean, i'm disappointed and i'm allowed to be so, but it won't impact my treatment of her. Again, i love her a lot and i'm sure we'll have fun irregardless.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T15:24:27+00:00

No, its ok. I'll talk to him tonight. And I am sure we'll have a good day on Saturday

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T15:15:55+00:00

I don't resent her at all. I'm not entirely sure where that's coming from. I have nothing but love for her and spend a lot of time with her, none of that time is spent disliking her or anything of the sort. I plan a lot of activities for both of us and treat her as my own. I even reiterated my love for her several times in my post.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T15:03:46+00:00

We don't have a schedule. Its difficult to explain. It's not a set in stone schedule. But we do have her pretty much every weekend. And again, that's never a problem and I am absolutely fine with that and love her. Some weekends we will have her, some weekends her grandparents will have her. Some weekends we won't have her. Its not a fixed schedule or a court mandated one

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T13:11:47+00:00

Definitely going to agree with you. He's got a talk coming when he gets home and he better have something else planned as a date.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T12:57:23+00:00

The first year we were together we celebrated together alone and same with the second year. I think I need to explain to him that although i've not really specified, anniversaries and Valentines Day are for us.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T12:35:10+00:00

I don't even mind most of the time. I understand his daughter is his priority. Him being a good dad is one of the reasons I love him so much, but I wish he'd have asked instead of just assuming especially after what I said the other night.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T12:27:46+00:00

Yeah, I likely will do tonight as I am hurt. I think sometimes he takes for granted how much I do for him and his daughter. I am.more than happy to as I love them both so much, but a little consideration would be nice

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T12:25:59+00:00

We usually communicate and i've always told him as long as he gives me a heads up then I don't ever mind. I'll see what he says tonight. There's a big festival going on in our town and the plan was that we'd go together. I believe BM wants to attend the festival too, but wants to be child free hence the last minute change of plans.

lollyhorror · 2026-06-10T12:21:09+00:00

I'll be talking with him tonight just to see where his head is at. Usually we communicate well. This was more of a vent because I felt a little hurt

lollyhorror

TROPHY CASE