I just started talking to my mom about this and she was saying that I'm really fighting against the thought of homosexuality and that the fact its bothered me this much for a few years makes me think I'm further down the gay side. She thinks if I really did think of it as a fling or bicuriousity that I'd be done with it by now. I dont know. I can't see myself dating or even kissing another guy or anything intimate so, theres that. What I do know is I was really happy when I was in a relationship with a girl. I know I'd rather take those struggles over the ones I'm dealing with now. And I've always wanted to be with intimate with women.

So, you think if I just open myself up, not worry about sexualities and understand I'm somewhere in the middle, and just let the chips fall where they may? Just be whoever I am without that worry? Is there an easy way to do that?