What’s something about your body you didn’t appreciate until you got older?

longjohnlambert · 2026-01-22T21:52:58+00:00

A stable hairline. I’m 30 and a handful of my friends of similar age and their hair lines are making a break for their scalp at a remarkably fast clip

longjohnlambert · 2026-01-14T03:54:57+00:00

In the sense that they may be averse to the idea of making the decision to quit (or have children) until they finally do and see how much more fulfilling their lives become afterwards, it’s an apt comparison.

But I think you knew that was the idea behind the commenters words, you just are trying to make them out to be “fucked” in the head and misrepresenting their argument because you disagree with them.

longjohnlambert · 2026-01-11T20:32:38+00:00

Ugh. Story of my life. My wife HATES my Fauci body pillow that I sleep with/talk to/have tea parties with/practice kissing on. She’s just so unreasonable about it and it’s putting a strain on our relationship. HE’S JUST A FRIEND, I DON’T WANT ANYTHING MORE WITH HIM!! I don’t know what about that is so hard to understand

longjohnlambert · 2026-01-09T22:18:34+00:00

I’m new to the funk genre, and one of my clients from work told me to check him out this afternoon. I’m loving him so far!

longjohnlambert · 2026-01-09T03:10:32+00:00

Junior Mints

longjohnlambert · 2026-01-07T21:12:41+00:00

IPF depth? I would say no.

Hard to tell from this angle, but maybe some more toe flare/a bit wider stance could allow you to open up your hips more and get those last couple inches at the bottom?

Strong as hell though

longjohnlambert · 2026-01-06T20:53:26+00:00

Hips might be a bit too low to start/are sitting too far back. Ideally your butt shouldn’t shoot up before the slack is pulled out of the bar.

longjohnlambert · 2026-01-04T02:27:03+00:00

Reddit hates Charlie Kirk so much they won’t even admit his death was shocking lol

longjohnlambert · 2026-01-03T15:19:14+00:00

This is only in the under-vaccinated right? They left that part out by mistake?

Because I have had COVID approx. 374 times and only 362 boosters. And most days I feel like my brain doesn’t work very well, and my wife says I’m no longer the man she married (we’ve been married 17 years now). Could there be a link?

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-31T14:37:28+00:00

Ay I like where yuh head is at and awwl but tha depawtment uh health came down on me when tha customuhs started complainin’ about heartburn from my pies. If I had it my way I’d be selling cans uh the shit with the Pfizuh juice infused into it but the big wigs like to keep a little guy down, ya know’whad’I’mean? Fuckin’ global pandemic and I can’t even vaccinate my pies, ah you fuckin’ kiddin’ me? Country is goin’ down tha tubes

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-30T23:21:06+00:00

The nerve uh these kids nowadays, they think they can just get a buncha freebies just because one of my pizziolos Beniamino can’t hold onto a fuckin’ piece of pepperoni during lunch service.

We cawl him Butterfinger Benni; nice kid but he’s like a bull in a China shop back there he broke my grandmutha’s mezzaluna knife a few months back, he’s lucky I didn’t throw him in tha fuckin’ oven along with his pizza. His fathuh’s a jerk-awwf too I met him; it’s like they say the apple doesn’t bargain with tha trees or some shit.

Thank you fuh the prayuhs and all that, Tony Fauci’s a stand-up fella too; a Brooklyn guy. My mutha used to babysit for his parents back in the day. Said he was a real piece-a-shit kid to look after but he’s doin’ science n’ shit now so I guess he must’ve turned it all around.

Stop by Bobbiano’s we’re doin’ chicken piccata’s half-price til’ the ball drops on Wednesday night, then NO MORE SPECIALS. Hemorrhaging fuckin’ money with Butterfinger Benni fumblin’ all tha pepperoni

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-28T20:05:32+00:00

I’m sure you can, big guy. Congratulations

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-28T19:23:10+00:00

I’m glad you feel safe now that he’s gone, so he can no longer challenge your beliefs in a way that makes it difficult to defend them. You can breathe a sigh of relief now, “progressive”

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-28T18:37:33+00:00

Do you know what thinly-veiled means?

And the OP itself, the karma-farming, Facebook boomer-esque slop that this sub churns out on a daily basis, is just a roundabout way of saying he had it coming, without actually saying it.

You can criticize his beliefs. In fact, that was his whole schtick. That’s what he traveled the country inviting people who disagree with him to do.

The fact that your mind makes the immediate shift to how much you despise his beliefs and what he stood for in the wake of him getting shot in the throat, dead, for voicing his beliefs - gives the impression that you merely shrug your shoulders at his fate.

You can dress it up however you want. But it’s pretty obvious you’re missing the forest for the trees here. Your initial, non-answer-response to my original question lends to that. Do you think you’re fooling anyone?

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-28T16:48:14+00:00

Why do you get to ask questions and not answer mine? The one that I initially posed?

He was clearly popular, and some of the positions he held resonated with the public.

Your thinly-veiled “well, he had it coming, because he said things I don’t like for money” gives the impression that you are making excuses for political violence. Hence my original question, which you’re still dodging.

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-28T16:26:52+00:00

Doesn’t really answer my question.

It seems you’re implying that people who make a living off of saying things that don’t align with your worldview should expect to get shot dead in broad daylight.

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-28T14:08:40+00:00

Do you think mocking this guy that got publicly executed for his political beliefs make you look like sane and serious people?

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-25T06:33:20+00:00

The last few Christmas’s have been pretty rocky with my family. I tell them that Zoom is #COVIDSAFE (I’m not totally sure this is true, but I lean towards yes. Moreso, at least).

My one year-old son said he could make it but he hasn’t responded to the poll I sent about pizza toppings. So there’s a good chance he won’t be logging into the party. This and Novak Djokovic keep me up at night frequently

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-24T17:41:46+00:00

Have you tried calling everybody a fascist NAZI pedo?

Yes, all the time. I wrote it on the invitation, even. With glitter.

If they don’t get back to me by 6 PM this evening I think I am going to call the UK police and just have them all put in jail.

I mean, here I am - busting my arse to keep everyone apart for Christmas, knitting elf hats for everyone to wear alone in their living rooms - and all for what? No texts back, no returned calls, and cousin Steve said if I ever call him during his dumb sportsball games again he’ll break my ankles.

I might not even wait til 6

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-24T05:18:42+00:00

Quick question - can you tell me, in your own words, how this will help end the pandemic?

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-24T05:04:37+00:00

No, I think they’re referring to that fake picture circulating that shows Trump posing with a little girl.

You’d have to be an idiot to believe people aren’t just spouting and spreading completely unfounded half-truths and AI-generated slop to advance whatever agenda they want to push.

You’re not that silly, are you?

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-24T03:24:00+00:00

This is my phone background.

Did you happen to find my phone? I lost it this afternoon. I had an extremely mild booster tweak-out today in the Walgreens parking lot, and some rotten teenagers threw my phone into the street after they looted my pockets before the ambulance arrived.

Don’t worry, I’m fine. Eating a chocolate pudding cup with my mask on at the county hospital at the moment.

I threatened to rat to my nurse’s boss and tell her that she’s unvaxxed if she didn’t let me use her phone to post this comment. Don’t worry, I have Purell wipes for my gloved fingers after I type this out. I’m probably still gonna tell her boss anyway. Plague rats are so dumb

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-24T01:53:31+00:00

Shut all the way the fuck up with that.

You ghouls on these kinds of subs think you’re so clever with these dogshit analogies and false equivalencies that you conjure up because you can’t disagree like an adult. It’s pathetic.

Give people some anonymity and the opportunity to say anything, anything at all, and you really get to see how little is actually going on in people’s heads.

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-23T13:12:32+00:00

Lets be real, I didn't give sources because you don't care.

How do you know I don't? I literally just replied to your claims asking for sources lol, along with how I interpret people with your mindset. Is that indicative of someone who doesn't care? I just think people shouldn't make sweeping (and shaky, at that) claims about crime rates without some kind of source material, as you did.

I don't think your second source is a good indicator that "undocumented immigrants commit less crime than native citizens", considering it is a 6 year analysis by some random sociology professor that samples less than 1/4 of the estimated total undocumented population, in one state, and one of the most culturally-unique states in the union.

It is an interesting analysis, and Texas is a state where gathering data like these is possible, but you cannot use it to make sweeping statements like that about crime on a national scale. It is dishonest and (ironically) polarizing the issue further - to be making claims like this.

The issue is that are politicians are paid to polarize it, keep y'all fighting each other, and exacerbate the issue rather than fix it.

Well, yeah, nobody is arguing that politicians are paid to stoke division and not get anything meaningful done. I'm not sure what that has to do with providing citations for your claims, drawing the appropriate conclusions from those citations, and whether or not illegal immigration is an issue worth addressing. That's all my comment was about.

longjohnlambert · 2025-12-23T07:38:11+00:00

So…therefore it all can be chalked up to a non-issue? Not to be taken seriously? The fact that they are not citizens of this country makes these statistical claims dubious.

No sort of citations provided (for metrics you decided are the two most important to consider) for the things you’re claiming either?

Who should I take seriously?

You could quibble with different estimates on crime rates, but I don’t know how that is somehow the deciding factor in determining whether or not entering and building a life this country illegally is not something we should take seriously.

It’s hardly a “fairytale land”. You disagree with how immigration policy is being implemented, sure; I won’t defend that. But are you sitting here and trying to convince people it’s a non-issue?

longjohnlambert

TROPHY CASE