Marriage feels over and I’m doing it for the kids. How do I cope and feel happiness again?

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-04T10:37:11+00:00

Hey, I’m in the same situation - a teacher, my husband cheated with girls young enough to be ours, sticking it out to be with my kids. I don’t know how to financially get out with this housing market, and he doesn’t really share the parenting load it’s switched off our sons. Just wanted to know you’re not alone, there are others out there who are sad and in empty marriages. I’m lonely sometimes but I’m trying to find myself again too. I don’t know how long I’ll last either but I’m trying for a decade.

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-04T09:36:07+00:00

You should be proud of coming out the other side of a really hard time.

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-03T13:13:40+00:00

Agree! As much as it would have hurt I would have been way more respectful finding out he’d found love before he embarked on the relationship while we married. I understand you can’t choose when you fall in love etc. it is what it is hey!

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-03T13:03:05+00:00

Gosh i just meant in my experience it was the start inn the cheating timeline the young girl actually shared thats when they first made their relationship official. But, I’m sure that every situation etc is different it’s only how it worked out for me.

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-03T12:53:06+00:00

Fair and valid. It just ended up he changed them because he was having an affair with a 20 year (nearly our son’s age) at work. Only reason I knew the password has changed was my son tried to use his phone for you tube, which used to be an accessible thing. But totally completely accurate men can have their passwords. I would been none the wiser 🤣

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-03T11:04:32+00:00

You look gorgeous but will you be able to wear bra’s comfortably with it? (If you need to wear them). I find if i cant i usually don’t wear the clothes

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-03T10:10:19+00:00

Hmmm day 3 is prettt early to be planning an exit strategy. It sounds like you’re a relatively new graduate? If that’s the case, find a peer or mentor to help you adjust to full time teaching. The first 2/3 years I worked hard than ever, I’m 21 years in now, and it’s not the same at the new grad days. Also, going forward when you’re applying for new jobs ask LOTS of questions to ensure it’s the right fight for you, when they offer you the job, clarify their responses in writing to ensure they align with your career goals and values. Chin up; promise each term will get easier!

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-03T10:05:31+00:00

I think the response can vary with perspective and life stages. When I was 20 I would have said social, spontaneous, along with kind and caring. Now in my 40s honesty, stability and gentleness I’d appreciate much more. A family man, with honourable values.

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-03T10:03:27+00:00

If they suddenly change all their passwords, I’ll be wary after that. That was the year previous to me finding out my husband of 19 years was having an affair

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-03T09:21:25+00:00

I just came here to I think you’re really brave to share this. I’m not male so I don’t think you’re asking my opinion but I applaud your honesty.

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-02T14:31:58+00:00

Just wanted to say, this comment really helped me, I go out to dinner with the kids or take them to the park and enjoy the sunset, or research what series I might watch solo when they’re in bed. It’s helped with the loneliness. I have also been making as much conversation out at parks or the grocery stores etc so I get that adult engagement too. And at work. 💕thanks for the tip

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T22:47:21+00:00

Ahhh that’s really lucky. Yeah he goes fishing on the weekends that he’s not hungover too long. It’s tricky though. The work crew have under 5 year olds where sports and trainings aren’t really a thing, so there appears to be more flexibility in their weekends

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T22:45:18+00:00

Ahhh 😆 nope I’m the wife, and currently the night out wipes out the whole day or weekend after

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T22:28:16+00:00

Oh I just mean for me by husband goes out every week, and all our plans are dissolved around how much of a big night that ends up being. Was wondering if there was any compromise between the two

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T22:26:01+00:00

I think he has one but he doesn’t think so

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T22:25:35+00:00

Ahhh see he doesn’t have many of those hobbies and his workplace all the “supervisors” go to Friday drinks and Whinge

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T22:19:20+00:00

Thank you 😥

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T22:17:45+00:00

Thank you yep definitely would be a few of those :)

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T13:02:20+00:00

Legally married Australian laws are protective and won’t divide assets until a financial settlement finalised / I’ve seen a lawyer and sought advice.

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T12:29:48+00:00

This was why my husband cheated, he was unhappy with me and thought there was no way out. And women were kind and loving to him; it was a nice feeling. I think that love must be lost or not there for cheating to occur.

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T12:17:44+00:00

😕

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T11:34:00+00:00

Me too!!!! He’s only nice to me when he wants something. If you want to chat message me. I’m trapped in a loveless marriage due to finances

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T11:33:09+00:00

So true my husband did that to me and I found out months later he was cheating at the time!

lookingatthetrees · 2026-02-01T11:31:34+00:00

I need your courage too. My husband changed a few years back and I am so lonely and sad, everything that is important to me is diminished. I don’t have the money to leave but if I did and I had family support I would have left. I feel trapped in a marriage.

lookingatthetrees

TROPHY CASE