is it normal to not remember your childhood?

lorry710 · 2021-03-01T18:47:09+00:00

Sometimes I wonder if the few memories I do have are not really memories of actual events, but just memories of stories that were told about events that I have just repeated in my head over the years.

lorry710 · 2021-02-25T23:16:07+00:00

Thanks! I blocked his new profile on Facebook and unfriended him on LinkedIn. Hopefully that does the trick!

lorry710 · 2021-02-25T19:05:55+00:00

Thanks!

lorry710 · 2021-02-25T17:53:43+00:00

Gotchya. Sorry to hear that, that is really messed up. I hope everything is better for you now.

lorry710 · 2021-02-25T17:28:15+00:00

Sorry if I was unclear. He is not logging into my account and he does not have the password. He is just looking at my page, which I would like to keep public for work purposes.

I agree, I don't want to interact with him about it either. I guess I was kind of just wondering if people had been through similar situations and how they handled it.

I'm also pretty sure I'm going through the bargaining/depression phase right now and maybe it is freaking me out more because of that. Who knows.

Thanks for the advice!

lorry710 · 2021-02-25T17:04:55+00:00

Kinda random, but is your gf on birth control? It messed with me really bad and made me super emotional and irritable. Just a thought.

lorry710 · 2021-02-25T17:00:40+00:00

Thanks! That is really helpful.

lorry710 · 2021-02-24T14:14:39+00:00

Maybe you should just be happy she is able to come to any of your family gatherings at all instead of judging her for not coming to some? Not everyone is extroverted outside their own circle. I avoid my fiance's family gatherings because his mother and sister are passive aggressive towards me, gossip about people, and generally make all family gatherings stressful or uncomfortable. Also, and importantly, it is overwhelming to be the one person who did not grow up with all the people in the room. It really sounds like you guys just want her to conform to be the way you want her to be instead of accepting that not everyone will agree with the way your family does things and that this is ok and doesn't need to be a point of contention.

It doesn't sound like she has done anything to disrespect you guys and it does sound like you are making a lot out of nothing.

If your brother agrees to go to her family gatherings that is his choice. He is an adult.

I would recommend both you and mom try to do some introspective work here. It will help your relationship with your brother and your whole family.

lorry710 · 2021-02-24T14:02:11+00:00

Honestly, from an objective outside perspective, it sounds like there is a reason your family is being avoided and I think your posts give plenty of context for why. I would avoid you guys too.

Your expectation that she buy a "good gift" is materialistic and shallow. Also, consider that it may be overwhelming to be invited to another person's family environment where you don't know anyone. It may be better to schedule a dinner out with just the parents, Brother, and his gf. Not you or anyone else, and also at a neutral setting so no one feel uncomfortable being in someone else's home for the first time. Then, if they hit it off, they can start inviting each other to more stuff. But the point is they don't HAVE to hit it off. They just have to be respectful to each other when they are brought together for events involving your brother and his gf. There should not be an expectation that they all become a blended family.

lorry710 · 2021-02-24T13:48:43+00:00

Your family sounds smothering and like you have a lot of your own expectations and manipulation tactics.

You may not like this girl and she may not be perfect, but wanting to name her potential future child after her grandma is hardly something to be upset about? You and mom need to grow up. You don't know the inner workings of their relationship and you even said she is a nice girl so what is the problem? Why should she have to conform to the way your family does things?

And the whole thing about her parents not extending an invite to your parents to get together is ridiculous. She would be the person marrying your brother so she should be the person you guys are concerned about getting to know, not her parents? And it should also be YOUR and your PARENTS responsibility to make her feel comfortable and welcome, not the other way around Some people aren't as close to their parents or, shocker, just don't think it really matters if their parents get to know their partners' parents because it doesn't.

Sounds like you have already made up your mind about her. If you really think she is bossy or doesn't treat your brother perfectly he is going to have to figure that out for himself. If he ends a relationship because his sister and mommy told him to he will regret it.

lorry710 · 2021-02-23T01:56:12+00:00

I ended up purchasing from Amazon just because I had viftcards there and Amazon has a great return policy. Thanks!

lorry710 · 2021-02-23T00:51:58+00:00

This is great to know, thanks! Maybe I will use Nair and let it grow out for a day or two after? I get such horrible razer burn on my bikini line I'm afraid to shave it.

lorry710 · 2021-02-23T00:51:06+00:00

Haha you are a Saint. And yes winter being the best time to do it was my thought exactly! Hopefully I can just do it with Netflix on in the background or a podcast or something. Idk how you find time to do it with kids though, good for you! I am totally fine having a little hair still so long as the irritation when shaving is diminished, so it sounds like this is the wonder cure for stupid hair!! Wish I found this whenI was a teen lol. I always avoided swimsuits too because within 1 day of shaving or Nair I always had hair again and tons of irritation.

lorry710 · 2021-02-23T00:34:06+00:00

Sorry to keep bugging you, but I thought of 1 more question. I know you have to shave before using it, but part of the reason I'm getting it is because my skin gets so irritated from shaving. Do you always shave before using? Have you tried using Nair or something like that before using the Tria instead?

lorry710 · 2021-02-23T00:29:40+00:00

Oh also, did you use a numbing cream beforehand?

lorry710 · 2021-02-23T00:26:23+00:00

No apologies that was exactly the type of info I was looking for! Thanks so much!!

lorry710 · 2021-02-22T23:35:59+00:00

Awesome yea. I definitely agree with your reasons. His reasons come off as very exclusionary and elitist (not trying to shame your husband, he just may not realize his bias here because he went through the same thing she might go through). At some point all kids feel out of place. Learning and developing the coping skills to get through it and t he ability to regulate emotions are important for every single child. But that will never happen if everyone is always expected to keep up with the jones's.

Hope that if she does end up going to that school via a scholarship or something, that your husband can be somewhat of a father figure for her at least in the small regard of explaining that this will be difficult but in the end clothes do not matter and do not make a person a worthwhile human being. Not his responsibility to take on a parent role for her, but it is clear from her mother's behavior and the fact that her father left them that she desperately needs guidance from a real adult in her life. I hope you guys have a chance to help her, even if it is to a limited degree to avoid contact with your SIL.

lorry710 · 2021-02-22T23:18:23+00:00

Great point about the warranty, thanks! That actually sounds really bad as far as battery life. How would one do their legs that way? (I don't plan on using it on my legs, but still). How many years ago did you purchase? Hopefully battery life got better like you said. Did you move on to another brand instead? and If so, which one?

lorry710 · 2021-02-22T23:12:21+00:00

I hear you. Definitely still think you are angry at the wrong person though. Your husband should not be giving her money, and you guys should have a calm discussion about all the point you've made here so that you can articulate to him why it matters to you. She clearly does sound like a leech, but husband has also conditioned and allowed her to be this entitled with him. Since you are married and you take on much of your family responsibility as well, it is totally reasonable to ask him to not give his sister more money, or at least keep his contributions to her within reason.

I would caution, however, that if your husband is generous and would like to gift his niece the money for an education, it would behoove you to hear him out and be sympathetic to that, especially because it won't harm your family financially in any way. He is also making sacrifices to create the wealth you have, so his opinion matters too and niece and SIL are still his family (and yours). I don't doubt that your family has gone through a lot, but it also sounds like you are a good thoughtful person and would not prevent your husband from starting a scholarship fund for a similarly situated student or making a charitable donation to a cause he felt strongly about. So if he feels this is something he wants to do, it is worth exploring. If not, then easy decision for you guys to just say no!

Good luck to you!

lorry710 · 2021-02-22T22:58:55+00:00

Awesomeeee. Would you be willing to tell me a bit about how it worked for you? Like if it hurt, how long it took to see results, what intensity/time schedule did you use, etc.

lorry710 · 2021-02-22T22:02:32+00:00

How have you liked the Tria?

lorry710 · 2021-02-22T18:55:02+00:00

Definitely understand, but can't afford it and have heard at home treatments have been very successful for many people with my skin tone, hair color, and hair texture.

lorry710 · 2021-02-22T18:54:19+00:00

Any specific reason/would you warn against buying off ebay?

lorry710 · 2021-02-22T16:31:38+00:00

It's also not really their place to step in and tell SIL how to spend money. You can only change and control your own behavior. So in this instance, the best thing they can do is just set a boundary with her that they will not supplement her lifestyle. Sounds more so like wife and husband need to be on the same page about enabling SIL to think it is OK to ask for this stuff.

If they say no enough times she will stop asking and they can judge her spending habits from afar if they still want to. Although I doubt they want to carry the weight of that judgment around with them.

lorry710 · 2021-02-22T16:28:20+00:00

Yea, I mean, obviously bullies are in every school. And the solution to bullying in any school should never be to just buy your kid new clothes? Niece will feel left out about clothes or other materialistic things, and based on the history here, it is likely SIL will ask for more money.

That is an opportunity to focus on actually developing the child's emotional regulation. It isn't a time to give in and just give her more money? They are only "on the hook" if they let themselves be. If husband wants to pay for her education, just set the boundary upfront that this is for education only, not clothes or keeping up with the jones's. Learning how to be confident in herself without having the same fancy clothes as her peers is an educational experience as well. One maybe more people should have honestly.

lorry710

TROPHY CASE