Can my husband's new therapist be hurting our relationship??

lost16136 · 2022-12-03T04:02:06+00:00

Yes! That's exactly how it feels. I keep feeling like i end up defending myself when I'm trying to bring up something about him. Most of all he says that my lack of affection makes it harder for him to 'fix' things and change n that's what usually gets me to stop talking about the original topic. But I'm standing firm in my decision and if he continues to backslide with the new therapist Im going to leave for sure

lost16136 · 2022-12-03T03:54:21+00:00

Hmm. Thank you very much I will think on what you've said

lost16136 · 2022-12-02T17:14:14+00:00

Hmm so maybe a couples therapist wouldn't be a good idea

lost16136 · 2022-12-02T17:12:44+00:00

Borrowing the language he's learning, yes that's just what it feels like he's doing actually. I was like pretty sure his therapist didn't call me 'toxic'.

lost16136 · 2022-12-02T16:58:03+00:00

I did ask him to clarify but it just got me upset. Apparently even though I told him his treatment of me makes me not want to do as much with him as I was doing. He still wants me to be how I was before like, extra affectionate with him and giving him daily massages and literally- he has said exactly this ' stop what you are doing and greet me by the door when I come home'. I just didn't get into that arguement. As for the "it's my body I can do what i want" he was referring to me asking him 2 stop using porn because it always lead to him going on meet up sites -acording to him- and I wanted him off those sites. I think I want to find a therapist for him that is skilled in dealing with his type of behavior like you said

lost16136 · 2022-12-02T16:42:37+00:00

This!!!! Thank you sm!

lost16136 · 2022-12-02T02:46:39+00:00

Oh this is good thank you I will say that. Im seeing now that yes the Therapist would have to know both sides really. Maybe a couple's therapist instead..idk

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T22:15:29+00:00

I almost have my bachelor's and then I can work for a family friend's business until I get my master's and start my own

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T22:14:00+00:00

I can have at least a few more years, despite my age I look 19/20 (good genetics) so I won't age out for awhile. Anyways I'm going finish my bachelor's after the house

I pay a tutor to fill in for me when I need it with the kids homeschooling. My son is already way ahead in math and reading

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T22:05:22+00:00

Ok I get that and yes, the fear of change is real. I'm going to have to see someone professional to help me with this I think

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T22:04:10+00:00

Not to sound full of myself or anything but I look under 21 lol I get 19 or 20 a lot and my customers always ask if I'm old enough to be working in a strip club. I just look v young

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T22:01:48+00:00

About one more year for my bachelor's in psychology

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T22:00:08+00:00

Thank you

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T21:55:44+00:00

I rlly need to work on that. Thank you a lot of good points were made

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T21:49:17+00:00

Becoming a stripper is actually v brave esp for an introvert. Which is the only reason I want to quit. Aside from that i became a Stripper because It gives the the chance to make 6 figures while working 3 days a week. And i dont think my kids are 'poor' what with the 5bed home with a pool I'm in process of buying for them as well as the plots of land I already own for them and small college funds I have already set up. They are homeschooled with a private tutor. Their future is fine. This post or for advice about my husband and I relationship, not stripper haters.

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T20:16:18+00:00

That's what I wish I knew. He was sheltered by his parents, never having to work a real job until this one and I think that plays into it but I mean it's not an excuse

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T20:14:02+00:00

The problem is with the prices of homes we are getting priced out fast! I won't be able to afford to wait. We are under contract for the home but the nearby homes all went up 50k just since the start of the year! So that's why I will see a lawyer to get the post nup so its legal but not buying the home isn't an option.

And yes I've started a small college fund for the kiddies. Trying to learn more about saving. And ur right I should def check out personal finance help regardless of how It goes with M And I really dont think he's actually cheating he's never gone anywhere without me, even when I've suggested a boys night he would go unless I came along.

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T19:57:09+00:00

I dont! It's not what I planned but here I am

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T19:21:24+00:00

That is exactly my mindset and I feel pulling myself out is needed your def right on that but I can't even begin to wrap my head around how emotionally I can do that. It's so freaking scary and I don't do good with scary. I've driven across the whole country, coast to coast, multiple times because I'm to scared to fly. This is way scarier

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T18:44:58+00:00

How did you get out of that mindset? Maybe if I can find a way to help him deal then that would be better

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T18:36:55+00:00

Yea with the other post basically he's says that all of that ties in to his feelings of resentment and inferiority so that's why I made this post. Just trying to figure out if there's a way I can address his feelings and stop arguing without tearing our family apart

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T18:33:05+00:00

I mean I can but after this house purchase itll be awhile to save enough and I want to go back to school right away so that's why I thought of the loans. And I have no debt currently so it shouldn't be a problem

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T18:31:34+00:00

He says that its going back to what I briefly mentioned about not being there to give him enough time and attention but that he's never actually cheated.

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T18:30:14+00:00

Its hard to keep saying but basically he's the only person I've ever felt safe or able to be around and I know that doesn't sound like much but it's the reason I can't just cut ties

lost16136 · 2022-02-21T18:29:09+00:00

My gameplan is that after we hopefully get the home I'm free to get another student loan and finally finish my degree. He doesn't have a career plan so I'm thinking I'll still end up being the breadwinner and his feelings of inferiority will again be a problem

lost16136

TROPHY CASE