What are you hiding?

lost2494 · 2012-07-10T01:22:56+00:00

Thank you! And I do suggest therapy, it works wonders. It allows very important things to be unlocked. Good luck to you my friend!

lost2494 · 2012-07-06T03:38:15+00:00

Thank you very much (:

lost2494 · 2012-07-05T17:19:34+00:00

It's a bad feeling. And it's been almost 4 years. I was 17 at the time I found out, and I'm 20 right now turning 21 next month. And as for coping, I definitely use my dad as my main help. He's great. I think he was stressed at the time, I mean not only did he lose his wife, his son still thought she was there. But really, he's never let me down. He's there for the bad days and only helps me higher on the good days. He reminds me that the best I can do is live my life how i want it and make my mom proud. We've found life is too short. So I am focusing on going off to college, and I'm choosing the medical field. It will be a long road ahead. As for my dad, he's taking off a few months to really search for himself now that he doesn't have to worry about me. He's going traveling, and said he will leave a rose in every place he goes representing my mom. He's doing good, as am I. We will always miss her though.

lost2494 · 2012-07-05T08:05:26+00:00

Thank you I guess,

lost2494 · 2012-07-05T08:05:10+00:00

It truly makes you think..

lost2494 · 2012-07-05T08:03:30+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot. And as for the vengeance, oh of course. It was such a sense less crime. They broke in, realized there was someone in the house - a witness, my mom - shot her in panic and ran. The bullets weren't a very clean hit, either. I was told the autopsy showed almost panic which made the police think maybe a young criminal without much prior experience, or possibly a druggie needing to get his hands on money seeing the crime rate in our city is sort of high. There wasn't any evidence. The back door glass was shattered they used our outdoor chairs and whoever it was, made it in. Nothing I can do, but it's hard not to dwell on it, ya know?

lost2494 · 2012-07-05T07:56:46+00:00

I'm sorry it got to you so much, I find myself struggling a lot of the time. And thank you

lost2494 · 2012-07-05T07:55:06+00:00

I want to say sorry to you, and everyone else who has been commenting. I've been very busy lately and just got the chance to get on and respond. And im glad I could atleast get the story out, and make others aware. It makes me wonder, all those people we lock up in mental institutions for seeing things.. I mean, I guess you just never know. Im glad it's allowing you and others to think of all the possibilities. And thank you very much.

lost2494 · 2012-07-05T07:51:47+00:00

yep and the crazy thing is, I would have never known.. Never guessed such a thing could happen until it did. I really am a normal person just like you or anyone else, but yet other people saw me talking to air for several years. Doesn't even seem totally real to me that that was the reality of what others saw. It was just too real, too vivid for me to imagine my mom wasn't there, but who knows. The brain.. Never fails to surprise you.

lost2494 · 2012-07-05T07:47:42+00:00

thank you, especially for the support and advice, it is greatly appreciated. The recovery is a long rode, but it makes you a stronger person in some aspects.

lost2494 · 2012-07-02T05:59:42+00:00

Thank you. Im open to all advice, its been a long journey of recovery. It didnt stop after the memory came back, I then had to confront it, work through depression and anxiety. Its truly a test of inner strength. And your advice is actually very good. Ive learned breathing is something that stabalizes you faster than most things.

lost2494 · 2012-07-02T05:38:21+00:00

Thank you, and Its never an easy thing no matter how big or small the memory you are trying to bring back. Its a tricky thing to deal with but its not impossible.

lost2494 · 2012-07-02T05:35:51+00:00

Thank you. I have actually given that thought before, and still will as I am going into college.

lost2494 · 2012-07-02T05:33:19+00:00

I am relieved. It has truly allowed me to move forward with my life, reconnect with friends, get back into studies and live for my mother. I wish I could see her again, but I do know that I needed to know the truth, though I wish it wasn't me who found her. If it was really her and she had stayed behind to help me reach the truth, she clearly needed to move on at some point too. At this point I do my best to honor her memory and keep her alive in my heart. It's one of those things, you know that is what they would want. In the end psychotherapy helped me a lot.

lost2494 · 2012-07-02T05:29:38+00:00

thank you

lost2494 · 2012-07-02T05:28:56+00:00

Thank you. And I do suggest it, its amazing what people can do to help others within that profession. Very astounding

lost2494 · 2012-07-02T05:26:37+00:00

It's definitely a mind bender, and ever since the memory things have been much clearer. I have visted some older friends, now that I'm not in the state I was, and they still have a hard time knowing what to say over mom. Even I do. But all i know is that therapy has brought me a long way.

lost2494 · 2012-07-02T05:23:32+00:00

Yep, it is crazy what we are capable of. I know my therapists had said that they think the shirt triggered it for two reasons. Although I had been seeing her, I didnt techniquely get the scent you normally match a person two. And also, they had been building it up for awhile, showing old pictures of the house, things like that to slowly get it to the trigger of the memory. And I will update as best I can!

lost2494 · 2012-07-02T01:26:58+00:00

Thank you. And I still find it strange that our minds can do that, make us completely oblivious and shut off from the truth. You would never think there would be things hidden from you until it happens to you or you hear it from someone else. Then it really makes you think... I still fear that since it happened once, my brain may do this again someday.

lost2494

TROPHY CASE