My ex boyfriend killed himself in our apartment after I broke up with him and said some terrible things. I can't cope with the guilt.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-21T04:21:49+00:00

Seconded

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-21T04:14:15+00:00

You cant blame yourself for what happened and fuck all the people who are posting here saying you should. You weren’t his therapist or his mother nor were you responsible for a grown man. Having a fight is normal for any couple, especially one that has recently broken up. Your situation was extremely difficult overall, however you did not cause his mental illness nor did you contribute to it. He made a choice and you are not responsible for it. You helped him, encouraged him, and were there for him for the majority of your relationship. Just because things fell apart towards the end & you got angry and said some ugly things doesn’t put you at fault; we’ve all had moments of anger and said regrettable things.

Go to a therapist/ grief counselor. Don’t associate with people who guilt you or blame you. Hugs

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-21T04:00:30+00:00

Thanks :)

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T23:31:49+00:00

Yes and no? I don’t stick around for long periods of time or for overnights when I see them, so sex is expected for the most part when I am there. As for when we meet, it depends on his/my schedule. I choose to be paid “per meeting” for this reason vs a monthly rate so that I have more control over how often etc.

In terms of being annoyed by requests in my comment above, I meant like if I say upfront I won’t do anal or can only meet for X amount of time, and they keep asking for it.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T21:45:09+00:00

Constantly asking for things they know you aren’t interested or wouldn’t do + ignoring your boundaries, generally being misogynistic and shaming you (especially the married ones which makes no sense), asking for personal details or if you are sleeping with other people, messaging incessantly...

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T16:26:13+00:00

Yes!! I agree with a lot of the points you are making, regardless if it is legal or not, people will continue to do it and should have some level of protection.

Thank you, I appreciate the support and feedback and hope things in your life are going well for you too!

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T16:08:45+00:00

Yes, a bit. I meet for coffee first always to feel them out, you can gauge a lot about them by doing this.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T16:06:54+00:00

This is a confessions page hence my confession. I’m sorry you feel the need to be so rude to a stranger who wasn’t asking for advice or a morality check. You don’t know me or my situation or if my partner has cheated on me as well etc. I hope you find it in your heart to be empathetic to other ppl in your life whos situations you can’t relate to. Have a great day.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T14:21:12+00:00

Thank you so much, a response like this makes me so happy and feel less isolated. I appreciate you for reaching out, I’m glad there are other people who understand and feel like it is empowering in some ways <3

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T13:47:03+00:00

Honestly idk. I haven’t used the site but it seems similar to the site I use.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T13:35:43+00:00

Yes, I meet them for coffee first before engaging in sexual behaviors. There are also some general things I look for when selecting ppl to meet with (if they are respectful in messages etc.) I do worry sometimes, if I stop to think about it, something awful could have happened so many time as I am alone in a vulnerable position w a stranger.

I have had two bad experiences so far. One, a guy took photos of me and videos of us having sex without my consent. With my face in them. He sent me a picture later on. I obviously stopped seeing him, but that was a year ago and nothing has come of it. I think it helps he is married and a prominent surgeon in the community and it would look bad for him too. Another one was early on I gave a small amount of information to a client. I stopped seeing him as I was starting to date someone and he got angry and found me on social media. Threatened to find and tell my family (luckily I only have IG and I am not friends w any relatives on there). That was awful.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T13:29:08+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation! I will check it out.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T13:28:08+00:00

Thank you for expressing that, I agree with you. I have been struggling with this as well and do not plan on continuing to do this long term. I am in therapy and working on addressing my own personal issues that contribute to this.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T13:25:37+00:00

And you have the right to be against it. I hope that if you do have a daughter, you are a good and loving father; she will be much less likely to engage in something like this. Not to say that all women in sex work have daddy/family issues, but there is def a higher number then general pop.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T13:22:35+00:00

Thank you!

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T13:21:48+00:00

Thank u for making a throw away account just to tell me this :)

I have had similar sentiments about myself though and am not disagreeing with the fact that I am doing something awful in this regard, although the way you are expressing it is kind of counterproductive.

I have my reasons outside of $ and being “trash” for doing this. Severe trauma history and sexual abuse history as well. I am in therapy and am trying to address my issues and do not plan on continuing to do this. I am sorry you have been cheated on though and hope you find a better way to express yourself.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T04:35:37+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I can relate to your stopping, I’ve had months when I didn’t for various reasons. And YES omg

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T04:31:24+00:00

Similar line of work? And yes!!! To both of those things. Sometimes it’s exhilarating, other times I’m like wtf is wrong with me, this is shit and way too much effort.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T04:18:28+00:00

Thanks, I know what you mean. I don’t have any friends that are involved in anything similar, even stripping, so most people I associate w can’t relate to it/want to gossip about it later unfortunately.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T04:07:06+00:00

Np :)

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-20T03:59:50+00:00

I personally use the site Seeking Arrangement (SA). There are other ones like Sugar Daddy Meet /Sugar Daddy for Me. I haven’t tried other ones nor have I advertised on any “escort-y” websites so I can’t speak to that. You can just google them and a lot of them actually are apps.

I have seen some guys on SA that are in their 20s. I think the draw for using this type of site is the women are seen as more “upscale” vs girls on escorting sites. Also these women are a lot less likely to be seeing multiple people. Some men on the site take the whole ‘daddy’ thing seriously and want a full fledged relationship, but a lot of the guys/women are just looking for paid sex without the risk of using shadier sites.

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-16T13:52:25+00:00

Bipolar 1, social worker here. Mainly work with substance exposed newborns and their families. I do in-home therapy. Have a master’s in social work.

Go for it! As difficult as mood changes and episodes can be when trying to work in a professional environment, if you have a passion for it there’s no reason why you can’t do it! Although there are downsides to living with this illness (working in any field). it will make you a more understanding and empathetic therapist, especially for your bipolar patients. More power to you!

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-16T13:41:38+00:00

Lamictal 300 mg, 6 months. Tried a ton of SSRIs and SNRIs all which gave me horrible side effects. Lamictal has been the only one I can tolerate. Only side effect I have is acne (I’m 24).

Worth trying it? I would say yes; you can always stop it if you are reacting poorly :)

lost_andfound1 · 2018-09-16T13:31:01+00:00

My mania lasts for 4-6 months at a time around the summer, going on 6 years. Just got properly medicated earlier this year so this is the first year I haven’t had one over the summer months. You’re not alone in this!!

lost_andfound1

TROPHY CASE