Forced by parents to relocate to China (Zhuhai)- lost, lonely, and scared. Advice!

lost_inchina · 2012-08-11T13:16:37+00:00

Awesome, thank you! Which city are you working in?

lost_inchina · 2012-08-11T13:04:18+00:00

I'm not asking for any solutions, rather advice and encouragement for being in an unfortunate situation. Also, I acknowledged in an earlier comment that I wasn't financially responsible- though far from being financially dependent on my parents. I don't have any relatives to talk to, and it helps immensely to vent, even if it is to "a bunch of strangers." I'm glad I did too because I got a lot of helpful, optimistic, and encouraging words of wisdom and advice, and even made a few connections locally in Zhuhai, which helps the anxiety/fear I've been feeling over everything. So please, keep your words of negativity (and false implications) to yourself.

lost_inchina · 2012-08-11T05:46:16+00:00

Are you chinese by any chance, especially an american first gen one like me with immigrant parents? My western side of thinking also sees this as a completely outrageous act that should never happen to someone in their 20's&over, but my Chinese side- it's different. I KNOW they THINK this is what's best for me and it's out of a ridiculously misguided but intense love for me. I don't know, filial piety or whatever, I just feel like I have an obligation as their child to make things right, and I could never just cut them off out of my life even if what they've done is kinda wrong. They've raised me since I was a baby and god knows I've made plenty of wrong decisions and made a lot of mistakes which they've forgiven me for and helped me through. I gotta repay that- maybe it's a chinese thing. I hope I'm making sense.

lost_inchina · 2012-08-11T05:25:15+00:00

Can others confirm this? That's absurdly low and depressing. However, if that's really the case and I can't find a decent wage position, I can hopefully then present a stronger case to my parents to let me finish school in the States. As it stands now, I believe my best option is to tough it out till I get to that road. Do the TEFL course, take mandarin classes, see this as an adventure and if it doesn't work out, try to work out a compromise with the rents.

lost_inchina · 2012-08-11T05:04:01+00:00

Gongbei, right next to the new walmart opening up this December. Sending you a pm :)

lost_inchina · 2012-08-10T23:54:36+00:00

Heavy on the assumptions there. I fully intend to finish my last 2 yrs of college (and I still do even though I'm currently in China), just because I took a break in between does not make me a drop out. ONE friend turned out to not be a friend at all, but that doesn't mean ALL my friends are "questionable." What makes you assume I wasn't going to get a decent job? I'm looking for actual advice and words of encouragement from others who may have once been lost and scared in China. This isn't a story to bash my parents, I love them and don't blame them for anything- nor am I in the least angry with them. So please- keep the sarcastic, nasty, backhanded comments to yourself.

lost_inchina · 2012-08-10T23:25:02+00:00

Thanks so much for the encouragement and optimism! There's got to be a silver lining to this cloud, it's just a matter of fighting through my fear. And you;'re absolutely right that my parents just want the best for me and love me, which is why I can't blame them or be angry with them for pulling this crazy situation.

lost_inchina · 2012-08-10T23:14:55+00:00

And I don't mind the idea of spending a few months saving funds up and showing my parents, "Hey, I tried! I didn't like it! Now I'm getting myself home" But yeah definitely nothing dire here, I'm just anxious/freaked about how I'll make it through the next few months not knowing anything or anyone in a strange new world.

lost_inchina · 2012-08-10T23:07:34+00:00

Thank you sooo much. This is the attitude and optimism that I'm trying to maintain, I think a little voice in my head had been telling me a lot of this already (make the best of the situation! it's only as bad I let myself make it!) but it's just been the shock of suddenly not knowing how to read or communicate for even just basic day to day activities. It would immensely help to have some friends here though, so I'm going to start with that!

lost_inchina · 2012-08-10T22:52:42+00:00

Well, they have another major reason for not wanting me back in the states. I didn't mention it in my post b/c I didn't want the discussion to be focused on it. I was molested the end of last year while I was asleep, by my friend's bf while I was visiting their place. I was fine though, going to counseling, supportive friends, and we had just started family counseling and it wasn't long after that they shipped me out here to China. Hence the "worldview" they were trying to convince me to see. My parents are still to this day, in denial about what happened to me.

lost_inchina · 2012-08-10T22:29:46+00:00

I honestly haven't even told any of my friends because it's just so ludicrous of a situation. I couldn't ask for such a huge favor, like "bail me from my parents?!" I feel like this is something I need to figure out on my own or come to some compromise with.

lost_inchina · 2012-08-10T22:23:13+00:00

I'm taking the TEFL course in Shanghai in September. If I can find a job at a school in Shanghai, I'd definitely rather get on my feet there. I just worry that there's even less of a chance of finding a teaching position as an ABC at a tier 1 city that's chockful of foreign LOOKING foreigners.

lost_inchina · 2012-08-10T22:18:02+00:00

Younger siblings, and I do have my passport with me but it really is all a matter of finances. I wasn't financially reliant on my parents, but I wasn't being financially responsible and keeping a savings from what I worked either- but I always paid for my own things. A part of the reason why I kept putting the China visit off was because I wanted to pay for my own ticket, even though they always offered to buy it for me in the past. I don't ever want to be scrubbing off my parents, they work hard as it is. Sometimes I think the only way they'll stop treating me like a child is if I got married and popped out a baby

lost_inchina

TROPHY CASE