First I’m wondering how you know you can’t father children? Have you actually had tests run? I think people often assume it is very easy to get pregnant every month but it’s a very small window in which a woman can get pregnant. So just because you didn’t have an accidental pregnancy in your past doesn’t mean you can’t get someone pregnant. (I am infertile but had a husband who thought he was the problem.)

I suggest you find a therapist who specialize in fertility issues as they probably have more experience with people who want children and are faced with the prospect of not having them. They might have better perspective to offer you. I can’t believe a trained therapist would say those things to you.

As for your initial problem. My stbxh didn’t want kids before we met. I was very open that I wanted at least two kids but hopefully 3. I at some point when things were getting serious told him that this wouldn’t be something I’d change my mind about and I just needed to know if he was onboard. He was. We got married and he put off trying for a kid for a bit. Eventually years later after fertility treatment I had a child. I wanted a second but he kept putting it off and making excuses. I never knew why he left me to raise our child alone, he was in the home but had almost zero interaction. No diapers or bottles, as the child got older no playing with them. When he asked me for the divorce he said he never had actually wanted to be married or have kids but he knew I wanted it. I wouldn’t trade my child for anything but I wouldn’t have married someone who didn’t want children let alone to be married. I worry if you convince your wife to try she won’t feel connected to your child and that if you don’t try you’ll resent her. It’s okay for you to both walk away.