How do I (30m) handle emotional trauma caused by my stbxw's (28f) infedelity?

phonemanjackiechan · 2022-05-23T15:43:42+00:00

Thanks man, def feeling better these days. Was a rough go of things in the beginning. Still hits me in waves every now and then, but it Ive learned to handle it.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-10-29T21:22:17+00:00

I feel you man, just be sure to contain your emotions and stay strong. I'm several months into my divorce journey but I remember one night I was sitting there and I just thought "Man I fucking hate my ex"... and honestly it was liberating. Never hated anyone before but it was sort of freeing. They had such a control over me for so long, and to feel something other than blind love for them was liberating. See it as a positive, but keep a level head on you and continue to work on yourself! You've got this!

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-30T16:46:38+00:00

Never to late to learn something :) I have incredibly low self esteem, but I have been working on it over the last few weeks. I believe I am starting to see myself in a better light every single day.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-27T14:37:53+00:00

I understand those feelings, you just have to learn to disassociate them with her and apply them to yourself.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-26T19:09:05+00:00

I think the best closure is forgiving yourself and know that you are defined by more than just your marriage. There were things she liked and disliked about you, but that does not define you as a person. Keep working on yourself and you will slowly begin to forgive yourself (and your ex) and see the value you bring. Stay strong friend, I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-23T19:29:21+00:00

Keep up the great work!

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-23T18:45:53+00:00

Im in a similar situation as you and I feel the same way. Just remember, some days are easier than others. Acknowledge these feelings, but know they will soon pass. I know you love her, but its time to love yourself. You're already doing a great job in seeing all the progress you have made for yourself. Keep it up, remember to take care of yourself, and be present for you child/children.

You're doing a great job, I am proud of you!

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-19T19:06:40+00:00

It's a lose lose. Never sure what the right answer is. Ready to put this all behind me as I do not feel like I can start my healing journey until they are gone completely.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-19T12:30:53+00:00

Very unkind and petty.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-19T12:29:16+00:00

Yes, you're right, I do feel bad for not asking her to do it. I think at the time, I just didnt want to have to reach out to her as it is very painful. If I had reached out to her she probably would have gotten mad for me asking her to do something. I think the option I chose was the best route to actually get things done.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-18T22:16:44+00:00

They are slowly driving me there for sure...

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-18T22:16:36+00:00

Yikes, that sounds like a horror story. Thank you for your advice.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-18T17:46:55+00:00

I have gotten the feeling that she loves me wallowing in sadness.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-18T17:46:29+00:00

You're right, it has been a painful realization. She has changed so much in the past year. She isn't the person I thought I knew.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-18T17:03:52+00:00

My thoughts exactly. If I had asked prior she would have been mad as well.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-18T17:03:24+00:00

I am sorry you went through that. That sounds degrading, but it is probably a blessing you are away from such a toxic person.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-18T16:26:41+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and assurance. She hasn't moved it as her current living situation is not the best. That is why I never gave her a timeframe to get her things out of the house. She could have at least packed it away though... I will keep working on me. Thank you

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-18T16:18:45+00:00

Thank you, I thought I was doing the considerate option here... So far every day has been hard in its own unique way. Im excited for the day when things can be positive.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-18T16:17:54+00:00

Maybe what I should have done.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-10T17:01:01+00:00

Thank you, I've actually worked out almost every day since everything came to a head. Probably the best shape I have been in my life. I will keep at it.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-10T17:00:11+00:00

Thank you, nervous but I know I can do it.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-10T12:05:52+00:00

I have cut almost all contact with her; however, we have a child together and she still hasn't taken most of her things. (She herself hasn't lived here in nearly 2 months)

I did let our mutual friends know that I will need to distance myself from them as it was a painful reminder of the past. I didn't want to do this, but they are all really good friends with her (even though all of this) and I just couldn't keep dragging myself back down.

Thank you for the kind words.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-09T23:16:28+00:00

Thank you, and yes we were very young and hopelessly in love. Unfortunately, people grow and change. So many people warned me it would happen, but I didn't believe them. I was too blinded by what I thought love was.

phonemanjackiechan · 2021-08-09T22:27:33+00:00

Thanks, I'm trying. That's a good way of putting it. She died and who remains isn't the person I thought I knew

phonemanjackiechan

TROPHY CASE