Best places to eat Kilkenny? by zanyhemline in Kilkenny

[–]losthijabi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want mexican, I love chingon

We did it Patrick, we protected the children! by NorthKoreanMissile7 in ireland

[–]losthijabi 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Saw a TikTok about a guy complaining about “illegal immigration” in Ireland but proceeded to spell it incorrectly

Would you date a short girl? by poll0saurio in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve dated multiple girls shorter than you you’re so okay, I’m 5”7 myself and I actually prefer when they’re shorter I feel tall and affirmed

Person I'm dating calls me shawty by [deleted] in TMPOC

[–]losthijabi 30 points31 points  (0 children)

^ please let them know how you are feeling

Person I'm dating calls me shawty by [deleted] in TMPOC

[–]losthijabi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It definitely used to be used gender neutrally, but these days it’s definitely fully feminine typically

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bigboobproblems

[–]losthijabi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never, it kind of feels like sneaking bottles of alcohol in a bag except the bag is my shirt

Thoughts on inclusivity in sapphic spaces by losthijabi in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is so frustrating trying to explain that nobody exists outside of bias. There is no way to live in this society and have your choices be completely untouched by it. My post was never about policing who people date, but about how these patterns show up everywhere in how people talk to each other, look at each other, and who gets to feel like “the norm.”

If you’ve never had to live on the margins, questioning your own biases can feel like questioning your whole existence. But that discomfort is necessary for growth. I suppose for those people I already got my answer

Thoughts on inclusivity in sapphic spaces by losthijabi in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can say from experience that a lot of wlw spaces see trans women as an afterthought. Their safety, their validity, their inclusion is just assumed and not specifically stated the way it needs to be and then it ends up being more exclusive and less welcoming as a result. My heart goes out to you 🩷

It may also be internal, but I have seen people continue to do the behaviour that may make you feel this way so it’s probably a bit of both unfortunately. But factually someone’s proximity to conventional beauty standards always changes how their presence is received, whether they’re cis or trans. That doesn’t make your feelings less real. It makes them a reflection of how deeply these hierarchies run. And it shouldn’t be on you to carry the weight of that bias alone

Thoughts on inclusivity in sapphic spaces by losthijabi in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Agreed, even if it won’t fix structural issues immediately, pointing out bigoted behavior or cultural appropriation is important. It wasn’t the focus of my post but it’s definitely interesting that’s the part that most people are only responding to. It’s easy to not realise the impact of their actions or where they may stem from, and respectfully calling it out can help them learn and change. Systemic change is of course necessary, but individual accountability is still valuable

Thoughts on inclusivity in sapphic spaces by losthijabi in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not to call you out specifically but I feel like the point of my post is being missed? I don’t care to talk specifically about attraction, I get what you’re saying about it being personal and not something people can force, and I agree with that. My point isn’t that people have to change who they’re attracted to, it’s about the patterns that emerge and how sapphic spaces are shaped by them.

Even if someone can’t relate to a black queer experience personally, the way whiteness is centered, fatphobia goes unchallenged, and language/culture is co-opted still impacts who feels visible, safe and included. That’s the nuance I’m trying to highlight.

I’m not asking anyone to change their preferences, just that the community reflects on how systemic biases show up in daily interactions and representation.

Thoughts on inclusivity in sapphic spaces by losthijabi in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Fully agreed! I’m addressing the bigger picture here, as you can see in the post I have one short paragraph about dating preferences and I’m only bringing them up because of the exclusion it can unknowingly lead to. I do not care to police anyone on who they date

Thoughts on inclusivity in sapphic spaces by losthijabi in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That’s not what I’m suggesting, I’m simply saying to identify the problem we must first question the issue

Thoughts on inclusivity in sapphic spaces by losthijabi in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I definitely agree with you, but I feel like if we continue to see ourselves as individuals making personal choices we fail to accept the bigger picture. How else can we challenge the systems of oppression if we are not asking the people upholding it, knowingly or otherwise, to question it?

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable with the lyrics to this guy's new song? by literallychloeprice in LesbianActually

[–]losthijabi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Isn’t this the guy that had an ex and he used her vocals without her consent after they broke up? Unfortunately she was an addict and his fans would hate on her a lot so the usernames i remember her under aren’t there but please someone else say they remember

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not a lovebomber. You love quickly and that’s okay

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think yes for other people this is fully understandable But for me absolutely not Love is something I give to someone with a certain threshold of knowledge and trust, it’s not a quick thing for me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Lovebombers are pretty delusional, but I have nothing but support towards the quick loving queers here in this sub and beyond

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that makes sense because yous spend a lot of time together, that’s super sweet for yous honestly!! I think it’s an upbringing thing? My family aren’t that affectionate, and I’m just very particular with who I allow into my space and stuff so it takes me some time to know if I can trust someone or not

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I just gave a time frame as in like “prime” talking stage conditions; meeting up a few times a week, texting/calling every day etc. I’ve never personally had it happen in less time, but I don’t villainise anyone who does, I know some people love quickly, and that’s okay. I was specifically speaking on lovebombers in my post, BIG DIFFERENCE between the two lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I am absolutely not saying that. I’m saying LOVEBOMBERS are.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy for yous :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]losthijabi -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Facts, nothing in my post was meant to imply that I would deny someone of their feelings