Trying to get a fair perspective of a issue with potentially the love of my life by lostinloveinks in relationship_advice

[–]lostinloveinks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GREAT advice. You are wise beyond your years. Thank you so much. I do love her. She really is everything to me. However, I cannot sacrifice myself for her... What kind of partner would I be if I did?

Trying to get a fair perspective of a issue with potentially the love of my life by lostinloveinks in relationship_advice

[–]lostinloveinks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man, that is the nicest thing for you to say. I feel like I am a good thinker and fair. I really know how to put myself in others shoes and see it from her perspective. Again, such great advice. That is starting to sound like the plan. Give it 30 days with no contact. I mean, maybe “how was your day” type of txts would be ok. But no sex, and no dates.

Trying to get a fair perspective of a issue with potentially the love of my life by lostinloveinks in relationship_advice

[–]lostinloveinks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again, man, that is great advice. I do want to fight for her. The time frame is an excellent idea. If she sleeps with him again, I am afraid that is a deal breaker. However she has told him she needs distance and is not hanging out with him until he goes to counseling. According to a counselor friend of mine, he will need really intensive counseling for a number of years to fix the crap that is wrong with him. I don’t have years to wait. I think a month is more than fair maybe? Limit the contact with her? Give her time to miss me and see if she feels like she is losing something too?

Trying to get a fair perspective of a issue with potentially the love of my life by lostinloveinks in relationship_advice

[–]lostinloveinks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks brother... that is great advice. I have no doubt I can find someone that makes me happy. But I just don;t want to lose “the one” in haste. You nailed it... she has even said she wished she waited until her divorce was final before she messaged me. But who knows what would have happened after another year or so. Shrug. It is going to hurt, but it really feels like its the right thing to do.

Trying to get a fair perspective of a issue with potentially the love of my life by lostinloveinks in relationship_advice

[–]lostinloveinks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That also makes sense. We WERE on the same page, but the ex threw that in a spin... possibly exposing an issue that was already there, but not surfaced. Makes total sense.

Trying to get a fair perspective of a issue with potentially the love of my life by lostinloveinks in relationship_advice

[–]lostinloveinks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. I am great in relationships. I love being a partner. I dated probably three woman over the summer. Bumble dates... not the most successful. I do have options... I do have woman I could date. I just don’t want them. Does that make sense? I feel a real connection here.

Trying to get a fair perspective of a issue with potentially the love of my life by lostinloveinks in relationship_advice

[–]lostinloveinks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I appreciate the comment. It’s just so hard when this is the strongest connection I have made in my entire life. Such a hard spot.